Manipulation?
Hi, I’m new here and I’m really struggling with my ex at the moment. We have been together for 4 years in a distant relationship. I won’t be talking about the reason(s) why I broke up with him. It would be a long explanation. However I needed to deal with many things that I carried on my shoulders. After I told him everything and about the why’s I don’t want to go back to him, everything went south. He demands his things back, such like clothes and so on. Even the things he openly gifted to me. I don’t get it. I’m not demanding the things back that I gifted him either. Is that just a way to get me to talk to him constantly, even if he said he won’t hope that we get back to each other again? Either way I’m anxious, I’m overthinking everything possible negative outcome. For example: what would happen if I block him? I’m afraid for some reason. And if this is really some trick of manipulation then I regret falling for it twice in my life. The first time was an old “friend”.
I’m in a similar situation with someone that broke up with me. She has demanded things back that were gifted to me but never gave anything I gifted to her. She owed me a large sum of money when she broke up with me and instead of giving it back as it was arranged she gave me an item that was worth about half that. I have since fixed that item up and she demanded it back. She even said that we would have to keep in contact until that was “ironed out” I have texts that even prove the item was given to settle the debt. It’s been horrible dealing with this toxic manipulative person. It’s been so bad I’ve rethought getting involved with anyone at all. I’ve blocked her on social media and she’s even found a way around that, sending messages asking why I went here or there or did certain things that I’ve posted. I am honestly afraid to block the texts because it’s like putting an ear to the ground listening for the crazy train coming down the tracks. I’ve talked to the police and they can’t help me until there’s proof that I’m in danger, but it constantly falls short of that.
Returning things isn’t a good idea from both sides.
What are you scared of?
What’s troubling you the most?
Blocking is not always a good idea. Let things flow and come to an end.
I believe the context in which said items are demanded to be returned that matters, and that can make someone feel not safe around the person that makes the demands. And probably the nature of the breakup itself
Also to mention that each breakup situation is unique and there's no one solution fits all problems when it comes to interpersonal problems
That's just my opinion