Platonic love...a letter which you'll never get to read..
"I swear to you, my God, to make her a light in my heart that will not be extinguished, and make me back to her so that she will never breakbecause she and I areof them and we are the secret of each other's existence"
I'll always remember these lines that you read while describing akhenatens love for nefritti.. little did I know it's depth .of why you were mentioning these. at that time...years have passed..11 years..no contacts..not even your address..mobile no..no picture of yours..no connections..the fact that you are continents away separated by oceans..and yet the love has not faded...I still think of you ...your calling me birdie ..being the fee bird I was..your care..our precious memories ..the office where we first met and pretended acquaintance while in reality our connection over conversations had grown to be much more...sometimes I question God that does he even exist..then I say to myself..maybe not all stories need to end..ours will be one such.. remember..I used to tell you ..you are worse than drugs..if I don't talk to you I feel like an addict searching for you ...your laughing and saying I am not good birdie..the thousands of books you read to me..and your choice of music which I still could not accept..your movie recommendations which I had told I will never view..i watch again and again ..yes..so many years..but I can't forget you..time flies..days months years..but I..i still miss you so much...when you left this country..the last conversation when I said you never formally proposed..why are you going..I hate you .attend my wedding..and you simply said...you loved me but you knew my circumstances..and that you cannot see me getting married..and that was it..you left..you never married..you still stay there waiting for the day which will never come...
I'll be true to my wedding vows..will never meet ..see or talk to you ever .but..my memories...I have failed to erase them...I miss you and that's a reality..my heart tells me it's immoral to even think about past..my mind says was it moral that i had to sacrifice your love because our parents wouldn't agree...I have repaid back their debt of raising me ....
This life will end the way it's destined..but make sure you meet me and take me with you in next lives...I miss you so much it hurts like death....
@dishashak
You got to experience true love it sounds like...
Your post was sweet and sorrowful.
One day you will know love again I hope, until that time I think you should move on when your ready to see and experience what comes next..
Thanks for sharing 🌟
It looks like you did experience a true love and because of those special moments you had together i understand that you miss the person so much. But it is better to let go of them and have faith in whats coming for you in the future 💫
Yes I miss him..but so many years have passed..i know I'll never see him , hear him ..talk to him.. although I miss him I also know that I am blessed to have felt this connection...memories will always stay with me...I have moved forward in life but that soul connection i could never find anywhere else...I also from the bottom of my heart pray and wish he gets married..he finds love again ..he stays happy and forgets me...that's why I know it was true love ..when other persons happiness matters more than one's own. I recall him saying ..only thing stopping him from coming back to me would be me myself..rest he could fight anything for me..but it was my decision which he will respect...and yes he did ...left without any qualms..no complaints..just wishing that I would be happy...I was blessed to have known you...
I was reminded of you today...i stumbled upon this book by orhan pamuk...and memories of our conversations came back in an instant..you having read extensively would tease me asking me to Google stuff when I would feel so dumb talking about philosophies ...books .planets.. volcanoes dunno what else..I used to love knowing everything you told..your book recommendations i didn't think I'll ever be as well read as you were..but .you'll be surprised..I did read ..not as much as you but I did read just to feel and imagine the world you showed me through books...
..I missed you today ..in office some friends were discussing nolans movies and just like that your memories came sliding like an avalanche and burying me with the bittersweet conversational remains..I how many times we watched rather revised his movies...you introduced me to his classic wrks..you would not be knowing but I stopped watching movies altogether..I don't want to watch them anymore.. and as I was drowning in my thoughts wondering how life would be at your part of the world at this moment...few days back had heard of quake in ur area .i .sooo wanted to know if you were safe ...but then I had no way to find out..I have come to conclusion this has to stop..and that you are nowhere ..but I am helpless because somehow small things around me keep indicating that you are there. How do I lock my mind ...like rumi said ..Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there..not in this life though..perhaps in other life if it exists... strangely i even know that what I seek is not your physical presence but the beautiful friendship we shared .one which was devoid of any selfishness..it was a true and soulful connection...May you be happy wherever you are
@dishashak
Thanks for sharing because this post was so lovely and beautiful ❤️❤️
It really sounds like to me, you experiences a true love ☺️
Yes dear ..it was rather it is what I experienced...and I feel blessed for that because no matter how far he is or even if we will never talk see or even meet anytime in future.. something still holds ..it has held for a decade now. And thats a feeling only those who have experienced true love can resonate with. I am still praying he gets married and moves forward in his life .but knowing him I know that day will never come..so yes although I have many grudges from God I'll always be grateful for blessing me with this experience of true love which I'll take to my grave.
It's 18th of August today... Despite trying my best to not bring you into my thoughts...I have failed miserably...I miss you will be an understatement...I have never forgotten you... everytime I have faced any problem past few days ..it's like I feel your calm presence which helps me sail through the situation.. today is one such day ..
After days of hectic routine today I feel overwhelmed..I am in midst of personal as well as professional turmoil with noone around to support me.. professionally the files still pending which will decide my future. Personally with zero family support my emotional and physical health is shaky..I tried turning to spirituality but hasn't helped so far...I so wish you were here ..your just saying..this too shall pass birdie ...your simple calm support...and I know I would have survived this...right now I am in all self blame mode...maybe I am doing wrong..i know I am being envious of a certain person. But i was never like this ..I have changed perhaps..have become selfish and self centred...i want to be the person i used to be not this version of myself...
don't you see how much I need your presence..I had thought I am strong but then days like these break me.. please pray I get through..these coming days will be another testing time...I have forgotten last when I felt happy...so yes situation has become that bad...
.few days back heard of earthquake near indonesia..was so worried for days and was hoping you were fine.. in my heart i knw you will be fine....take care of yourself just like I will of myself.. because we don't have an option..life is what it is..
Hi ...August is about to end..I am handling both personal and professional turmoil...reminds me one of my favourite lines..two roads diverged into woods...but the only difference here is I have taken the road most people take .. bowing to social , financial pressures..ethically weakened decisions..day after day weekend after week doing things I am expected to do. .not knowing what I really want.. honestly amidst all the chaos haven't asked myself this question..just going with the flow without much worth.. much thought.. yet on such nights when self introspection starts..I feel like closing my mind..hope you are doing well in your life ...
@dishashak this is so beautiful, am crying
September has arrived..it is that time of the season which reminds me of the early winter walks..the visit to the art gallery.. the last office trip we had next to the river..the pictures of which are only in memory and nowhere else...you'll be surprised to know that i am on vacation fr ten days ..wrk pressure,stress was taking a toll on whatever little health is left..so I decided to take a short break.. fr the past two days I hv been doing what I love most... reading.. reading and reading..I revised one of those wrks that you found cheesy and not your type. Yes you guessed it right ..I reread pride and prejudice while I was in train...then picked up museum of innocence by pamuk...watched a few movies.. atonement a few mins back..and as always any love story with sad endings takes my thoughts back to you...so I am here to vent out my mind..silly me..i know..you take care...