Reaching Out~ š
Hey hey lovely people coming across, extending you a warm welcome to 7 cups if youāve joined us recently. šĀ
Members seeing this, Iāve been wonderingā¦ when youāre looking for someone to talk to on 7 Cups, a listener that is, whatās something in their bio or profile that makes you feel like, āYes, I can open up to themā? Ā Or makes you feel more comfortable in sending them a message, because I get youu~ itās hard at times to reach out to ānewā people.Ā
Is it a shared hobby, a friendly greeting, a certain listening style, or just knowing what topics theyāre comfortable with? Maybe itās even something fun and simple like their favourite snack or a quote that makes you smile.Ā
Think about the last time you reached out to a listener here?Ā What did you notice in their profile that made you feel more comfortable?Ā
Or what do you wish you saw that would have helped you feel safer to drop a message or open up to someone?
Any specific kind of information or detail that youād like to see on their bio, that would help you make an informed choice while connecting with a listener for the first time?Ā
Share your thoughts below so our listeners can get inspired to make their profiles warmer, more inviting, and easier for you to find your ācomfort matchā here. You never know who might read your comment and update their bio because of it. š
I know I might as well hehe, I feel our listener bios serve two purposes here~ major ones atleast, to introduce ourselves a bit and share about us Anddddd to help members feel more comfortable in reaching out. Somehow because we may feel more assured to reach out someone we can āsenseā a little about even from their bio or profile picture or their general presence in the community.Ā
I enjoy reading peopleās bios too, both members and listeners hehe, many a times thereās so much to know about people through their profiles, their stories, experiences, likes/ preferences, Ā favourite quotes and tv/ movie shows as well lol~ soooo if youāve come across any fun or insightful bios lately or you like someoneās profile, feel welcome to share what you like and tag the person whose bio it is as well. Weād love to shout-out to them also! š„°
Listeners if you are seeing this, feel welcome to share what your thoughts are as well, and do upvote the responses you find helpful~ we are all in this together and together we can grow beautifully! š
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
I'd be interested as a listener to know the replies šš
@Amanda84 Me too! Letās hope more members come across this and share with us! š„°
I looked at the āclassifiedsā because Iāve noticed a lot of people on here that I see their responses on the forums are not accepting any more āchats.ā
When I do āfind a listenerā itās like a box of chocolates, you never know what youāre going to get. If the vibe isnāt flowing, I immediately disconnect. Donāt ask my name, where Iām fromā¦that none of your business and frankly doesnāt have anything to do with why Iām reaching out.
In profiles I will check, do they have reviews, are they accepting of what Iām reaching out for, do they have experience, empathy. Do they show initiation in their profile not just a one line.
Once the conversation starts, if they are asking me questions that are relative to the situation, and are inviting. Not just āgo ahead next callerā type of deal, itās helpful. š
@peachThinker662
Thank you so much for sharing this, Peach, itās such an insightful perspective! I love how youāve broken it down into both what you look for in a profile and what makes the actual conversation feel safe and welcoming. Ā
From what youāve shared, a few points really stand out:
- Seeing if the listener is available (and avoiding missed ends in āfind a listenerā). I feel reading through the bio is helpful as many do mention if they are accepting chats or not, even if they are active in forums or other spaces in 7 cups.Ā
- Checking reviews, experience, and empathy indicators.Ā
- Looking for effort in the bio, more than just a one-line intro.Ā
- Once chatting, having questions that are relevant and show real listening, not robotic or rushed.Ā
I think this is so helpful for listeners to read, as itās not just about filling a profile, but about showing warmth, intention, and presence both before and during the chat. Ā
Thank you for being real about what doesnāt work for you too hehe like overly personal questions early on, or a ānext callerā vibe. It can certainly cause discomfort to members when they are already feeling hesitant to open up or share something more vulnerable.Ā
Itās reminders like these that can really help listeners reflect and improve so I thank youuu for being so elaborate in your response. š
@peachThinker662 knowing your cultural background can be helpful in supporting people from different cultures than the listener.
@Sunisshinningandsoareyou
I have limited experience with Listeners.
But I do read through their bio and see if they have had direct experience with the same issues I am dealing with. I do think some listeners need to up their game on their bio.
I check to see if they are an adult listener, I just feel that they would have more of an understanding than a teen listener.
I do check their feedback as well.
Iāve felt that some of the responses from them is very generic and not genuine.
After my first experience with a listener from another continent, I did look for one closer to home, so to speak. Or at least English as their primary language.
Their bios in my opinion should be a little more forthcoming about themselves, let the community know a bit more about them so we can make a better more informed choice .
Hiya @braindamag3 nice to you in the form land, and I appreciate your generous response here. š
I think your response really highlight how much a well-written bio can matter in helping members feel confident about who theyāre reaching out to.Ā
Ā A few things from your perspective that really stand out for me and id like to list them for others to check out also-
~ Looking for listeners who have direct experience with the same issues youāre facing. (I think it does help build more comfort in sharing when you can sense that the other person relates also)Ā
~ Preference for adult listeners, as it can sometimes mean more life experience or understanding. (You are an adult member and that should mean the listeners who you can contact via PMs are all 18 and over, I get the preference for people in a similar age bracket as yourself again for better understanding of certain experiences)
~ Checking feedback/reviews to get a sense of othersā experiences. Also an important reminder for members to definitely share their honest feedback after chats as if itās positive it will be reflected on the listenerās profile and can help fellow members to feel more confident too and if the feedback is more constructive, itāll be passed on to the listener as a coaching feedback where they can learn and improve to do even better. Win win for all hehe!Ā
~ Wanting bios to be more forthcoming so members can make informed choices. I love expressive bios too! Even better if they arenāt Ai-generated and actually written by the listener!Ā
~Noticing that overly generic or scripted responses can feel less genuine.Ā
~Sometimes preferring someone closer in location or with the same primary language for ease of communication.Ā
Ā I think these are such valuable reminders for listeners to not just to āfill outā a bio, but to share enough of themselves so members can get a real sense of their personality, approach, and comfort level. And youāre rightā¦ itās not only the bio, but also the quality of the conversation that builds trust and helps improve the supportive rapport between a listener and a member!Ā
Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts so openly, Iām certain it could benefit our listeners more! š„°
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Thanks for this.
I am surprised that there are no policy's in pace for Listeners to have a more complete bio.
I think it would really be welcomed if they would all have a set standard as to how the bio should be filled out.
@braindamag3
Thereās general reminders and guidelines for the listeners on what they shouldnāt include in their bio, also for members for that matter~ from the safety perspective, to not add any personal contact information, too much triggering things etc.Ā
A few included in this discussion-Ā https://www.7cups.com/forum/safe7cups/Part6SafetyActivitiesDiscussionsEventsandGames_2648/SafetyDiscussionBioBasics_321561/
Similar threads for the listener community are present too. But not a very āmandatoryā sort of policy on what āshouldā be included in listener bios, but general reminders and guidelines again.Ā
I agree that this is one aspect that could use more attention, also a set of guidelines could help bios feel more in-line with one another.Ā
Iāll actually pass this valuable feedback to the current leaders for listener quality, thanks for sharing! š
Hahahaa
@politeHouse889
I like sharing a good laugh, but missed it here. What about this post did you find funny? So the rest of us can join too. š®
Hahahaa
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
It depends on how well they can listen. I want someone who is able to be caring and help keep the conversation rolling until I feel like I'm at a better place. It's annoying when someone asks me my age or location because they think it matters when it shouldn't - it doesn't to me. That information is too personal. I just want to be heard. It helps if they are able to help me find clarity in what I'm trying to say that I don't necessarily know how to properly say.Ā
Hey there @sensibleWriter8277 nice to meet you! š
I really hear you on this, thank you for sharing so honestly. What you said about wanting someone who can truly listen and keep the conversation flowing until you feel lighterā¦ that really resonates. Sometimes itās not about ticking boxes or asking personal details, itās simply about being present, caring, and giving space for your feelings to unfold.Ā
I also felt what you said about not wanting to be asked age or location, I get that, because when weāre reaching out itās usually not about where we are, but how we are. š
At times listeners may want to confirm the age-range as some feel more confident about connecting with a certain age group, but one can always refute to answer.Ā
Iām so onboard with you about not liking being asked personal questions either. Just wanting to be heard, without that extra pressure, makes so much sense. Good thing we have the autonomy to not share anything we donāt want to hehe.Ā
And I really love the way you described it, a listener who can help you find clarity in your own words when youāre struggling to put things together. Thatās such a gentle but powerful role they can play, almost like holding up a mirror so you can see your own thoughts more clearly. Ā Thank you for putting this into words, I know itāll mean a lot for our listeners to reflect on this. š„°
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
This is such an interesting questionā¦I canāt wait to read the answers now š¤šš¹ā¤ļø
Glad you think so too, @RainbowRosie we have a couple of responses so far and Iāve enjoyed them thoroughly! š„°
Feel free to tag any members that you think would like to contribute their thoughts as well! š
