yapping cause I woke up and the sun was bright this morning
One of those days where I realize depression is truly some chemical imbalance or just comes and goes as it pleases. The past couple days I've been so stuck in a strongly negative mindset. I kept trying to forget, move on, stick around and feel it so it would leave, everything. I just needed the negative thoughts to stop running in my head and just let some sunlight in for once.
This morning, I woke up and I wanted to put my best foot forward for the world. I realized how grateful and proud I was for where I was at in life. For being able to make some money off of something I love. For finally enrolling in classes and making a difference in my life. they may be small things or insignificant to others, but I'm really proud of these small accomplishments. these small things that I can proudly say I've done myself.
It just gets so hard when you get sucked into a hole with no ladder out. Carrying all those negative thoughts and emotions the past couple days felt like carrying nuclear waste in my bare hands. for the longer I held it, the worse it made me. it felt like I was infected with some sort of depression radiation and there was no way to scrub it off.
I'll always have a bit of that radiation but how I choose to move forward with it, shows my character and who I am. I could be bitter about it or I could be grateful I am alive and lived through it all.
idk talking doesn't make sense but getting it out feels like it's not a wasted thought
@fishbone531 definitely not a wasted thought💖 your outlook on life is amazing, and you should be very proud of yourself for all your achievements💖💖 I have depression too and share the same gratitude as you 💗 thankyou God for life 💖 I think of depression as a monster who rears his ugly head when ever he wants to, we can't beat him but we can try out best to learn to live alongside him💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗
@fishbone531 thank you for your post! I totally don’t think that it’s a waste of thought! It’s a ray of light and a riminder that nothing is permanent and we can hope for a better change in our darkest days. I admire how you choose to appreciate the little things that are often overlooked and cultivate the feeling of gratitude in your life. I try to do that too and it’s bringing me fulfillment. It’s easy to get caught in a negative thought pattern but riminding myself of the long way that I’ve come, my achievements and just little things that bring me joy helps a lot. So thank you for your story, sending you a virtual hug!
