The importance of putting a time when talking with a member
I used to fight a lot with this though: should I say in the first message when I speak with any member how much time we can talk?
I thought of it as something selfish, something that would sound rude and make others feel pressured.
Until I tried it.
It doesnt only help you and the member but it puts you out of the uncomfortable situation of talking with the same member 2 hours straight and not wanting to be rude to finish the conversation.
Just try it out. It helps you put boundaries and help more members. I usually put 25 minutes and honestly I feel grateful I tried it!
Try it out please it will help a lot!
Thanks for reading!✨
Take care and be safe! 🫂
This is sticky and I'm glad it works for you. I'm personally not keen on it, as a member sometimes it feels like they are clock watching and it's tricky enough to be open and share without an invisible voice saying chop chop.
As a Listener, sometimes it takes a while to coax someone so they are just getting started and then it's time to end it?
Some chats are routine and that's fine, but others are quite involved and I want to maintain the flow and support them.
I think there isn't a right or wrong way, it's up to the individual Listener. It's just my personal thoughts :)
@ScrabbleBrain
Thank you for putting the 2 sides of the coin here.
I also speak with more than 25 minutes if the member really needs it.
I have stayed 3 hours talking with the same person lol.
@cheerfulKiwi1776 I honestly do feel you, because I've done the same, spent hours too and I forgot to add that I don't feel guilty in saying, I'm sorry we need to conclude it here for now but we can follow up at another time....
(Because literally I need to eat lol)
@ScrabbleBrain
Haha yeah me tooooo
@cheerfulKiwi1776 In fact usually they are laughing along with me. It's a delicate balance between caring for others and ourselves :)
@ScrabbleBrain
Yeah I was surprised by how understanding members are when I tell them that something urgent popped up and I have to close or that its like 2 am or anything at all!
@cheerfulKiwi1776 Agreed most are very considerate to our needs and understand we have other priorities too but I've also had some entitled responses which I didn't appreciate..
@ScrabbleBrain
I will totally agree to this. Some members are just really rude.
@cheerfulKiwi1776 We give our time freely as volunteers. It's important they remember that.
If we were paid and on the clock, that's completely different but we are not :)
@ScrabbleBrain
Yeah that's true. Some of them just think we are here to listen to them vent 24/7 which is not possible
@cheerfulKiwi1776 Exactly munchies need to be munched, shows need to be binged, chores need to be..... Well actually that one can wait 😂
@ScrabbleBrain
Lollllll
😝🤣
@cheerfulKiwi1776
I agree, because when you don't set a time limit, sometimes the member can genuinely feel like you have hours to chat and get annoyed when you explain you have to leave 💙
@Amanda84
Yeah true. Thank you for commenting to almost all of my posts💙
I agree with alerting the guest that time is not unlimited Similar to when you speak to a counselor. I helps the guest to focus in my opinion. Sadly I find the many guests are speaking To me for the sole purpose of getting advice or opinions or they want to know what should I do? Sadly, I find that many guests just depart when they’ve gotten what they need
@Construction
Thats true tho. Thank you for commenting
Take care and be safe 🫂
Hi, thank you for sharing this. This was something I also had difficulty with, because some conversations just keep on going. Sometimes you also need to do some personal stuff. I don’t give a time beforehand, but I usually tell them 10 minutes before that i need to do something and wil sign off. We then talk about some light stuff and say our goodbyes. It works for me.
Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.
Stoic
@Stoic1920
Thats true that's true. Thanks for sharing
Take care and be safe 💙
@cheerfulKiwi1776
This is such helpful advice thank you for sharing it! 🌷
I used to feel the same way, like setting a time limit might seem rude. But you're right it's actually a form of self-care and respect for both you and the member. Knowing there's a gentle boundary makes the conversation more present and focused. I'll definitely try the 25-minute tip Grateful for listeners like you who share what works 💛
@Claimlistener
Thank you for your kind words! I like sharing what works for me so other people can do that too.
Take care pleaseeee🤝
@cheerfulKiwi1776You're so welcome. Thank you for sharing what helps you — that's how we all grow together. Take care of yourself too. 🤝
@Claimlistener
🫂💙
@cheerfulKiwi1776
This is such helpful advice thank you for sharing! 🌷 I used to feel the same way, like setting a time limit might seem rude. But you're right it's actually a form of self-care and respect for both you and the member. Knowing there's a gentle boundary makes the conversation more present and focused. I'll definitely try the 25-minute tip. Grateful for listeners like you who share what works
@cheerfulKiwi1776
This is something I've struggled with in the beginning of my journey as a listener. I would often think I would come across as rude if I stipulated a time limit in the beginning of the chat. However, soon, long conversations would drain me and hinder me from giving my best. Upon my mentor's nudge, I finally began adding a time frame within my introductory text. And no, enforcing boundaries as a listener isn't worth being guilty of. It was taken postively by all my members. I am grateful for their kindness and understanding.
@trueconfidant123
Yeah that's so true! Thank you for commenting!
Your comment is really true tho
Take care and be safe🫂
@cheerfulKiwi1776
@trueconfidant123
💛