Looking for a Support

@RainyDays2020

Im here to talk if you want ❤What's making you feel ashamed?

@RainyDays2020 I’m good at getting stuck. Ambivalence about whether I should take an action isn’t easily turned into action. My tactic is usually to let ambivalence win for awhile, and then take a step toward my goal, resting back into ambivalence for awhile, then getting up and taking another step. On the other hand, I have at times just powered through and ignored whatever hesitation I had. The last time I did that, it was not the best choice in hindsight. But the thing is, we may not know what “the right choice” is. We can’t be expected to know future outcomes. I’m not a fortune teller. But I often find myself very actively “trying” to be. When I recognize that I have slipped into that habit, it gives me a little “space”. That is, I get a little mental relief - I can step back from the choice I am trying to make and lessen the burden (somewhat) of making a choice. It sounds like you have a couple of weeks to work through this. My advice is to stop fighting your ambivalence. That doesn’t mean “give in” to your resistance, but don’t try to conquer it either. It may be trying to tell you something, and you may or may not get it to “tell you” exactly what that is. Sometimes taking small steps toward your goal is enough to remove some resistance. Maybe you have done everything you can and the only thing left is “pressing send” to submit the documents you mentioned. In that case, maybe you can ask yourself some questions. Maybe something like, “I would be more willing to peruse this job if…”, or, “I know this job will benefit me, but I am sure that it will have these drawbacks…” These may not be the best questions. The point of the questions shouldn’t necessarily elicit an answer where you’re clear about a solution. Ambivalence is a friend who doesn’t necessarily respond to point blank questions. If it did, it wouldn’t be called ambivalence. Eventually you will make a choice. It will literally be the best choice you could make given all the internal and external variables. You are asking for help, and that says to me that you are taking the process of choosing seriously. Above all else in this process, be kind to yourself.

Hi @RainyDays2020,

It sounds like perhaps you have cold feet?

If I’m wrong, I do apologize…

To be honest, I’ve self-sabotaged myself many of times when it comes to job searching.

I either a) Felt unworthy OR unsure of the job, b) Didn’t exactly “like” the job, even though I’m good at that specific field, but forced myself to at least apply and maybe do an interview with them at the most, unless I fled that too or… c) Just too overwhelmed with everything going on in my life that I just… didn’t complete what I needed to…

I’ve also been job hopping for a while now and actually got many raises that way[with maybe a few decreases in between jobs, but not too bad].

I guess my advice to you, as an old kibitzer, would be to take one step at a time and just know that jobs aren’t permanent. Its OK if you try out this job, and don’t like it. There’s many jobs out there. It is also OK if you decide NOT to do the job, especially if you feel uncertain or have a gut feeling you might not like it. If you’re worried about your financial situation, there are resources out there that can help you, while you job search. Not sure what country you live, but where I currently reside, there’s a job program that trains people (for free) into 2-4 year certification for specific fields[medical, business, trades, etc], once you complete it, they help you find a job right away. The only thing about this program is you have to between 16-24y.o, live with roommates on their campus, and maybe some other requirements. I’m not entirely sure, I haven’t done it myself personally when I was around those ages.

Theres also always job agencies, where a recruiter will try and help find a job that matches your skill set and what type of job you’re looking for. Most are temp to perm I believe.

If worse comes to worse, apply for unemployment while you take your time and find something you truly enjoy doing.

I’m not sure how you feel about this new job, but perhaps go ahead and submit the documents, check out and see if you might like the job, and if you don’t, please don’t feel bad if you decide to leave it early on, its OK. If you end up liking the new job, then congrats! I am happy that it went for you.