One secret I have been keeping that I am ready to share is....

I dont want to be a mother anymore.

I'm a closeted lesbian and I am so desperate to be in a relationship. I am 32 and have never gone on a single date in my life. I honestly feel like it will never happen for me.

I started drinking at 9am today, on my own in bed straight from the bottle. This is my 8th bottle this week. I thought it'd be healthier than cutting or starving myself or using hard drugs. I'm 21, an addictions worker, and I am an alcoholic.

Starve myself to feel like my problems and feelings are validated. My family has always ignored or didn't validate my struggles because I didn't on them like they did. Eventually i caught on this idea and started starving and restricting myself. I have also self harmed for the same reason. Sometimes when the cravings I strong I chew and spit. Nobody knows that I do it.