One secret I have been keeping that I am ready to share is....

@danigurl2000

I know exactly how that feels because that is currently what i'm going through myself.

I have been abused since I was a child by my father, neglected by my mother for not being able to stop any of it, and raped by an abusive man when I was in college 10 years ago and never told a single person until I found myself on 7cups this year. I couldn't afford the professional help so I did my best everyday to cope with it. I'm not strong at all. I have attempted suicide... I honestly thought I wanted to die but I knew that it wasn't what I really wanted... I knew eventually that I need help.

I knew it all along that I was never ok and I never told my parents any of what has been going on with me and have been afraid of what my depression was doing to me.

If you can afford the help from a professional, don't EVER be afraid to ask. I should and plan on it once my financial situation is taking care of. Best thing i've ever done to cope with my depression is distracting myself with hobbies I like. I forced myself to do them so I would not do anything harmful to myself. I once baked up a storm in my kitchen to the point where I physically lost all my energy and passed out. I also write down my feelings almost like poetry in a journal since writing is a hobby of mine as well as an interest. It passes the time and tends to help me get all my emotions out once i've started. Sometimes i'd write nonestop until my hand can barely move.

Anyway, before this message turns into a novel, I just want to tell you that you are not alone. I made it my resolution to finally seek help this year.

Find help any way, any where you can. Find one person you can confide in with their unbiased opinion. That won't judge you or put you down. There is no one around me that I can confide in about my situation which is why i'm seeking professional help.

I really hope this helps. I know it's tough but just remember you're not alone, my friend.

Hang in there. -hugs-