One thing I have never told anyone is....[finish this sentence}
Just... blurt it out! Don't be nervous! Make your secrets not so secret....
How empty I feel while eveyone thinks I am always happy and positive because that is just what I show.
I feel I am watching the world from the distance. Like behind a two way mirror and I and the world are running on a parallel existence. I don't show the real me too often and sometimes I have lost real me even for myself.
@Lolowise475 I know how you feel I've been living like that for about 8 years now.
Makes me feel somewhat comforted to learn that@Frizzkitty
The only reason things fail in my life is because I procrastinate. I procrastinate because I second guess myself. I second guess myself because the people closest to me don't support some of the things I want to achieve like sing and dance. They blame it on me being a mother and 27 years old. That I'm to old go have a dream. It hurts when all I need is the ones I love to support me. They can give advice even direction but to put me down saying I live in a fantasy world sucks.
I am truly unhappy married for a while now but I stay cause I know he has no one
I think about killing myself almost every day.
I always isolate myself from everyone. I don't get why I do that and I always feel lonely.
One thing I have never told anyone is that I feel like completely disappearing. Disappearing from people around me. Disappearing from my life. Disappearing from this world.
I do want to get married and have kids. I act like I dont because I dont think anyone will ever love me enough to make it happen. I pretend like I want to go against the grain, but I want a family of my own someday.
@Wahls005 Honestly I understand this to a degree. I honestly wish I could get in a relationship and eventually marry ,but due to how I am I can't, so I tell others I don't sometimes. I even confuse myself because of how often I lie to myself.
I have phimosis. And I should have done something about it a long time ago.... But here I am almost 23 years old. I feel so embarrassed and it gets harder and harder to tell anyone for each day that goes by. I never had sex and I fear the day it comes to that. I feel it really blocks my opportunities to get a girlfriend, as I dont know what I would tell her on the bed side. I know a relationship is not all about that but the conversation will come up sooner or later
I'm to scarred to go to the doctor, I don't like changing my body in anyway. And I literally see a guillotine falling down, every time I think of an operation. I know its stupid but I can't help it. I am afraid people close to me will either laugh or say I should have done something about years ago, as they dont know my fears. I feel like I'm digging my self down a hole i will never come out of....
Thanks for reading my novel.... But I needed to get of my chest
i dont like being social because i feel unattractive
