One thing I have never told anyone is....[finish this sentence}
Just... blurt it out! Don't be nervous! Make your secrets not so secret....
that I never got over bulimia, and I've been struggling with an eating disorder and emotional issues for 10 years. And that I don't love my husband. I'm very depressed. Too many things...
I have a suicide letter written out and stashed away "just in case". That fact would crush my family. It even shocks me.
I've wanted therapy badly for so long now.
I hate myself, and I criticize myself a lot... I think I try, but I never succeed. Idk if it's depression, but whatever it is I'm sick of it.
@NlueSaylor It happens, everyone has felt this way. I still feel this way time to time,but you just have to tell yourself that you are doing great and that what your head is telling you is lying. I know it is hard but you will get through it. Good for you for seeking some help... it took me a long time to admit it and it was when i was at about rock bottom. If you need to talk, i will be around
I hurt everything i touch
I wish I could shave my legs. But I believe women shouldn't be shamed for not shaving their legs (or anything else) if they don't want to. I've been so outspoken about this to so many people that I feel like I'd be a hypocrite if I started shaving consistently. But I'm sick of the comments I get and the looks from other people. I'm sick of being "courageous"
I've Never told anyone that I cut a star into my shoulder when I was 12. (Luckily it went away)
I think I need to find a therapist again even though my last one deemed me "cured" because I've been triggered a lot the past few months and even though my losing weight is gaining me a lot of praise, it's not because of anything healthy or good...
One thing I have never told anyone is that I was diagnosed with depression and I went missing for 10 days without telling anyone. I shut off my phone so that no one could contact me. After I returned, my negative mood relapsed a few times, to the point that I had to take time off work to rest at home, which I continued in my downward spiral. Eventually, I resigned from my job because of all the trouble I was causing my colleagues. Since then, I'm into my 3rd job now, also in danger of losing it because once again I crumbled. My in laws detected a change in me but I put on a feeble attempt to mask my true emotional state with a fake smile, yet my physical look can't lie because I have low energy nowadays and I don't talk much and I always look tired.
One thing ive never told anyone is how i truly feel. Ive never said who i am inside i feel like a secret inside. Most of my life feels like a secret. Most of my thoughts and things about me arent know. There seems like a universe inside ive never spoken about. Sometimes i wonder if it will ever be known.... when it will be known.
Nobody knows that I would like to learn how to growl properly, withouth damaging my throat, so I can make an EBM band where I can "sing" all the things I wrote. Essays, poetries, etc...
