One thing I have never told anyone is....[finish this sentence}

My anxiety is so bad that when people don't text me back for an hour I get really sad

I'm in love with someone who won't even message me back

Im not sure I still love my husband.

I CANT TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS!!!!!!

Although I have lots of friends, I have actively avoided romantic relationships for most of my life. I am almost 40. I dearly want a relationship, but I have no idea what I'm doing. It scares the hell out of me. I'm making all the mistakes that most people probably make when they are in their teens and twenties: lots of intense crushes, poor communication, hurt feelings, and so on.

@Laura I tried to kill myself twice

I'm bi curious

I feel like I'm raising two children...my husband, who acts like a child and my son, who IS a child.

How miserable I really feel at times.

I think my suicidal thoughts are coming back again...That's why I've been having more and more breakdowns recently. I won't do it, but the thoughts and my mindset are terrible.