One thing on my mind right now is......
I just wish that I could end my life and disappear. Im so disgusted with myself for having such severe anxiety that is all consuming that I cant go out or do ANYTHING. I want to just [suicidal method redacted]. After years, I still cant accept that this is my life. Its just worse than I ever thought it could be and who I was and who I wish I could be have just disappeared and crumbled and all I am now is just a hopeless human who is just an embarrassment. I cant even leave my own home. I feel like I cant even try anymore. Theres just no point when the smallest thing is like a mountain and I still cant do it. Im just so disappointed in myself. I dont know what to do.
Post edited by BurningEmber.
@lychee sometimes just getting yourself out of bed can seem like you are climbing Mt. Everest. I know exactly what you mean. When I got like this, sometimes I just wrote and wrote until I could not write anymore to get everything out and drown out some of loud self loathing I was feeling, or listened to very loud music.
I am new here, and don't know if I can make suggestions, just please keep checking in. Sometimes an outside compassionate connection can do wonders.
@llychee
I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time right now! Sending you warm hugs!
Tomorrow Im heading back to school after being home and Im worried all my positive thinking is fake and my efforts to make my life living away from home and at school less lonely and depressing will amount to nothing just like last semester and Ill be miserable for the next 3 months until I go back home again
Why am I so clingy with everyone in my life? Why can't I get out of my head. Why does it feel like no one sees me as good enough.
@SunnySummersDay
I know how you feel. You be as best that you can be for yourself. Try not to dwell on how other people think of you
One thing on my mind right now: I want to be happy and everyone that I care about to be happy.
Because happiness doesn't last, I'm trying really hard to appreciate it when it comes.
I feel anxious, my mind always think that there is something wrong with my heart. I have gone through 5 ECGs, 2X-Rays, 1 Blood Test and 1 Echocardiogram. The doctor had said that it was normal. I have gone for a check up and i was diagnosed with a panic disorder. However, there is always that what if idea that makes me doubt that it is because of this panic disorder and that it is a cardiovascular problem. I am trying to stop those thoughts
I'm excited to get introduced to my best friend's girlfriend tomorrow. She seems like a really awesome person! :D
I feel incredibly guilty for contacting my ex. Who wasnt even a commitment. Im married with 2 toddlers and recently lost my mom. My dad died when I was young. I feel like my life as a stay at home mom with perfect husband and two delightful toddlers is a farce.
My ex knows my craziness. He is engaged with a whackadoo. He has told me they constantly fight about me. She thinks we are having sex. We did have sex for over 10 years but then I wanted more and had no contact for 5 years.
Sheila...
money and bills, the cold winter is going to make our heat bill crazy and my wife keeps turning up the heat.
