Member private chats
Why can members not have private chats? We may not be able to become a listener in order to have a one on one. However, we can usually support each other more than with a listener. Nothing against the good listeners!!!! They are great and I've used them frequently
I realize this site is supposed to be a community where you share all to everybody. Some members can relate to a post or thread way more than a listener can in that particular situation.
Also, I've seen so many new threads never being responded to by anyone!! As a member that is discouraging which could trigger something. For me, it's like, yep, I'm never heard. But than you find a member that you clique with and want to chat with but not where everyone can see it. No one was interested before!!! But now you start sharing with someone, it's hard to be completely open because of not trusting others.
I'm sure there are others out there that either would like to private chat with a member or why it's not an option. Both parties agree.
My question is just why? And what are members opinions?
@EnergySensitive
I believe is a matter of security. We are all somehow messed up here. Imagine you're chatting with someone and is all going very friendly and the other person decided to touch a topic and made you triggered? This already happens in the chat rooms, so imagine a private chat 1 to 1.
To not mention the report system would be hard. Imagine the person made you feel VERY unconfortable and you wanted to report them. How can the 7cups community judge? They would need total acess to the conversation which means you have no privacy.
And then you also have the thing called stalking. In other websites I had the experience of being friendly and people stalking me exactly because of this.
Personally i love 7cups because of 1 to 1 chats not existing. I feel much safer.
@Booklover95
I'm a first-time user/visitor. I was connected with a listener after chatting with the bot. I told the listener that my child had attempted suicide over the weekend and I was feeling a lot of anger, which I was hoping to gain some insight about. The listener responded by first calling me a derogatory name and then a racist name. I'm not saying user chats would be safer, but in this case -- my first experience -- listener chatting hasn't turned out to be safe either.
@Coop503
Sadly that will happen, even if you could chat 1 to 1. There are alot of trolls , specially because this is a free website
I'm very sorry for your experience though. What about going to the listeners list and scrolling down? Usually those listeners have the topics they specialise talking about in their profiles! And they have ratings about them aswell in their profile
@Coop503 I'm sorry that you have to go through bad chat with the listener here :( The thing about listener is that, these days it's better that you browse listener and see their qualification or the most important thing if they have been verified or not. But you really should report the listener for calling you derogatory names, to make sure that the mentors or mod knows the problem.
If you still want to go through general request queque however, it's still okay for you to see the qualification (number of cheers, chat, verified) of a listener to make you feel safer in the future :)
I would say the reason why is so that in every 1-to-1 chat at least one person has had some basic training, so they know what the boundaries are and how to get help if the chat becomes difficult.
Some people do use the forums to support each other. You're right, of course, that doing it that way is not private.
Some people do the listener training, which doesn't take very long, just so that they can chat with other members they have met. When you become a listener, there is no requirement to chat with any strangers.
I agree, it's disappointing that threads in the forums are sometimes getting no response.
@EnergySensitive
@RarelyCharlie. I respect every one's opinion. The posts I have seen, which is many, say their experience was horrible! I've heard people have been cussed out, name called, forced advice, or sometimes just leave the chat without saying a word. I'm not trained to be a listener but I do not believe that I can help just by letting them say whatever and not be judged, criticized, cuss at, ignored. We come here looking for safe place to express what we are feeling, trying to reach out, which for many people is a huge step!!
Yes, private chat with members could become too much per say. Then you should be able to block that member. Option of hiding notifications. And anyone can stalk on this site if they wanted to.
I joined this site for support. It was a big step. I have had the pleasure of chatting with some great listeners repeatedly. But I've had some that were just completely rude!! And they are trained better than a member to be compassionate?? Are listeners chats private from the 7 cups lesders? Our forums are viewed. Yes it's a private chat however listeners messages should be monitored. Many of us are hurting already, lonely, have no self worth and reach out, possibly first time ever, and you are treated like crap. Isn't that a trigger?
If 7 cups is worried about members triggering members and that's why member private chats are not allowed than many people that have come to this site posted a forum asking for help, advice, or just an ear and no body has responded, that would be a trigger for me.
I like this site and am on it often. I usually feel completely alone and sometimes worse. Their has been several negative posts lately.
I responded to a member a member who had been cussed out by a listener. We chat everyday through a forum. This person, who's not trained, has helped me so much.
I need to reiterate that I have found some great listeners and I feel lucky! But those who were treated badly I feel horrible for.
I can honestly say that this site has helped me. By members and listeners. But I wonder how many people left the site feeling worse. As members we are supposed to be taking steps to get get better. Taking steps ON OUR OWN, the goal right? Yet we can't decide for ourselves to reach out to another member without it being publicized to everyone.
I really do see thst this topic has many different views, opinions, concerns, etc. And I respect everyones thoughts. I just wanted to share, as a member, how I feel on the topic. Disrespect to anyone.
@EnergySensitive
Why can members not have private chats? We may not be able to become a listener in order to have a one on one. However, we can usually support each other more than with a listener. Nothing against the good listeners!!!! They are great and I've used them frequently
I didn't realise that members didn't have their own private chats? Because listener can have private chats with other listener to discuss few things. Although it's highly advised to switch to member account if they are in the position of distress and asking for support and advice in the way that member do.
I was here pretty much from where 7cups is not this big and didn't have so much member/listener and it is like what you said this site is supposed to be a community where you share all to everybody and true that some members can relate to a post or thread way more than a listener can in that particular situation since there's something about people who can understand each other with similar situation. But then again, 7cups put the distinction between member and listener to make sure that the one that become the listener have at least basic information about everything they need to know to support other member. And just to make is clear who is the one venting and listening :)
And yeah, I agree that the forum responses is pretty low as a lot of new threads are not being looked or even responded. But honestly, for some people they are more interested in 1 on 1 rather than checking on the forum once in a while.
Seeing your point about member experiencing hard time (listener being mean to them and more than mean sometimes) is a problem that occurs when the site is big and the filter system is not that good. It's frustrating but until the mods have clear solution to deal with listener trolls. They would always be there