Not sure how to do this

Hey @Maloja, I sense you're hopeful to see that you're not alone, and right on, you're not alone in finding it struggle-some to ask for help or support definitely.

There's different reasons why this could be for different people, some have felt neglected too long so they start being their own saviours, or some would downplay their struggles and brush off as you said if they feel their struggles aren't important or valid enough, or that there's no one that could possibly understand or be considerate enough to support them, some just simply aren't used to asking etc, have you tried exploring your thoughts about this?

"What makes it hard for me to seek help?, What is the worst that could happen if I ask for support from someone?, What kind of help/ support am I looking for?, What would I say/ do if a close one came to me with a similar situation?" kind of self-introspective questions to help you figure what is it that makes it harder for you to ask for support, or what kind of support you may be looking for.

If you're looking for a place to start around, perhaps you can discuss these with a listener here as well? They might be able to help you open up, and provide you the comfortable space you deserve to share and seek support for yourself.

No pressure or rush ofcourse, it is incredibly hard even trying to acknowledge that something's not going well and some sort of support may be needed. We never have to do it alone, you do deserve all the comfort and support you need, and I hope you receive it soon. Alsooo, this right here, you making a post sharing about your struggle with asking for help, and being open for replies, is one way of asking too, it never has to be always-direct in the form of "hey can you help me with This?", sometimes it's a space (like this forum) we give to ourselves to share something that's been bothering us, or weighing on our mind and being hopeful for someone to relate with, or maybe try to understand us, least of all, make us feel heard, acknowledged and less alone with our struggles, and that's reaching out too. You reached out today again, So far I think you did exceptionally well, and I'm really proud of you.❤

I feel that you want to share your problem here. If you want to share your problem then you can ask for help or support definitely. By sharing your problem you will feel better

Thank you both for your responses, your insight and opinions.

I am not quite sure what has caused me to feel the way I feel now, I cannot point at one incident or thing that has caused this.

A lot has happened the last ~5 years or so, and as far as I can remember, I never stopped to look around when things were happening. It was all about moving on and "not make a big deal out of it".

Lately I have felt very strongly that I am either not heard or not taken seriously by a lot of people around me. Mainly doctors or at least that is when it feels like it really matters. Both my sister and my mum were told they were fine and that there was nothing wrong with them when they went to see doctors about their concerns. They both died from cancer that could have been found a lot sooner. The same happened to me, my concerns were dismissed 3 times before I got diagnosed at stage 3.

Throughout the course of my treatment, doctors have been dismissing my concerns or my opinions, and it is really getting to me. I don't know if it has always been like this and I just haven't noticed/cared or if it really is different.

I have brought it up, but I am told it's nothing.

I have talked to my GP about it, she wants to "have a chat" in 3 months time.

I have contacted 4 psychologists, but I never got any response from either of them. It is holiday season, but the irony is... ugh.

Along with all of this, I have developed some weird from of anxiety where I have purely physical reactions, no bad thoughts or anything like that. However, it is clearly linked to things involving treatment or doctors, even visits to my GP that I absolutely adore.

I feel alone and I don't know what to do. I have no friends or family, so it is difficult for me to get other people's opinion on how it really is or how to go about it.

I am 47 and I have no previous history of depression or anxiety.

Oof, it feels difficult to write this, but I hope I got through what I wanted to say reasonably well. Feel free to ask if you want more information or back story.

Oh and english is not my first language :)