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Why fight so hard to live ?

User Profile: Belleame24
Belleame24 February 19th, 2022

I don't want to go to work or do anything at all, I feel exhausted all the time, I am in debt which is going to take a lot of time to pay with my current job, I couldn't complete education so I took admission now but I cannot focus on studying. I have become obese in some previous years. My mom loves me a lot she is the only reason I am living. My father lives far away he lies saying he doesn't recognize us so he won't have to pay maintenance to my mom. I see my colleagues come and work easily happily and take home whole month salary, but when I go sit in office and start working i feel so tired like I have no energy to even lift my hand so most of the time I am on leave. My senior is on the edge to remove me from work and I don't have enough education for another job I don't know how I will pay the debt. I am and always have been at rock bottom of everything let it be education finances health everything. I am not suicidal i don't have the courage to do it it's just I don't know why I am fighting so hard to live but whats going to change after some years why should I live a life like this some more years. I am on anxiety medication from 1.5 year, i don't want to take the medication anymore but I am scared of panic attacks so I take them. I don't know why I am writing here..there is no answer to my question.

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User Profile: Lonecreature
Lonecreature February 19th, 2022

You don’t need a answer to express what is troubling you. And if you need to talk your welcome to message me. Out reach out to other listeners. Keep your head up

User Profile: immyfirstlove
immyfirstlove February 19th, 2022

In life, rain will pour hard before you can see a huge sunlight, what you are going trough is proof of something big coming. It happens, you feel drained of energy you must feel like whatever you do is worthless and don’t want to do it anymore. Everybody feels like that at a moment of their lives, and from there you just have to choose wether you lie down and don’t care about anything or you continue to wake up everyday seeking a way to make life a little better.

I admire your bravery to continue waking up everyday and say “oh I am in a debt but I will go to work” even when tou feel so exhausted from just waking up, that’s brave and don’t say “ I’m not suicidal I don’t have the courage to do it” The real courage is staying alive when it’s so hard.

Believe in yourself, see the strength in you, and hope.

there is this saying in French “ l’espoir fait vivre” which means hope makes you live.

So enjoy what you have, don’t care what about what others have, be confident, and seek what makes you full of energy. You are a strong one my dear.

I wish you all the happiness in this because you deserve it, everybody has.

set your mindset on something and be happy!

User Profile: patientMoon39
patientMoon39 February 19th, 2022

@Belleame24 please speak to a mental health professional and your company to allow you to go on a sabbatical. I am sorry you are going through so much trouble. Let me know if you need someone to talk to.

User Profile: diplomaticPond9736
diplomaticPond9736 February 19th, 2022

@Belleame24,

We are with you friend . I can understand your problem , anxiety and depression give a hard time , basically hijacking your mind and in turn your body too . I understand completely that you feel low on energy and motivation to do anything, yet you persevere and strive hard by even holding on and that is quite commendable. It is brave of you to come here and share your problems with all , I am glad you did that though . You can talk to some listeners , they may try to help you in the best way they can . Even venting through platforms like this helps you move forward even if it’s just a step . I too suffer from anxiety and depression and it rather seems that all doors are shutting on you . Personally, I just try to hold on like you are doing though your situation is very different from me . People like you inspire me to go on . Hope you get better and keep updating about your situation.

User Profile: diplomaticPond9736
diplomaticPond9736 February 19th, 2022

@Belleame24,

We are with you friend . I can understand your problem , anxiety and depression give a hard time , basically hijacking your mind and in turn your body too . I understand completely that you feel low on energy and motivation to do anything, yet you persevere and strive hard by even holding on and that is quite commendable. It is brave of you to come here and share your problems with all , I am glad you did that though . You can talk to some listeners , they may try to help you in the best way they can . Even venting through platforms like this helps you move forward even if it’s just a step . I too suffer from anxiety and depression and it rather seems that all doors are shutting on you . Personally, I just try to hold on like you are doing though your situation is very different from me . People like you inspire me to go on . Hope you get better and keep updating about your situation.

User Profile: hatemee
hatemee February 19th, 2022

ikr why cant we if you try not to you end in hospital or have no say its funny you dont really have a chocie but just to sit in this loophole feeling of nothing the only good part is others feel the same way

User Profile: hatemee
hatemee February 19th, 2022

and sometimes you cant describe it in words

User Profile: shyPlane1200
shyPlane1200 February 19th, 2022

@Belleame24

First of all, thanks for sharing this, it means a lot to me.
I myself am in similar problems and while reading your story, I put myself in your shoes, imagined ...
What I would do is, take my salary, kiss my mother goodbye, and (if possible, because of debt) move to another
country, started a new life, changed small rituals, learned a new language, found a new job, new love ... and slowly repaid the debt, without stress, reborn.
And no, that doesn't mean you're weak, or that you "ran away."
Such a move simply means that you still love yourself and give yourself a chance for the new, better life that you deserve. My advice comes from personal experience. I wish you luck.

User Profile: SoulPitstop
SoulPitstop February 19th, 2022

Because, There is no patience.

Mirage ahead!

User Profile: hound2021
hound2021 March 25th, 2022

@Belleame24

Have you tried the 7Cups chat rooms ?

I am inviting you to get support in the 7Cups Sharing Circle chat room.