How to forget my one-sided love?
Last Updated: 09/05/2021 at 4:57am
Lauren Abasheva, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.
Top Rated Answers
I'm in love with my best friend and have been for years, my heart is continually broken as she dates other guys and gets herself hurt by them. I tried to distance myself from her so I didn't get hurt every time she met someone new. But I couldn't stay away, I understand that we're not meant to be together but we are the best friends and I'd rather look after her and pick up the pieces when she gets hurt then let her go alone. Maybe one day when we are old and grey she'll see me. I will quietly wait for that time.
Well forgetting a one side love is too difficult. I too used to meet him daily , I still love him . The things that have changes is just that i have accepted the truth, that he loves someone just like i love him . Forgetting isn't a solution to everything. There are somethings that are to be kept as memories throughout your life, to be reminisced whenever you wish to . Don't forget , just accept and move on .
Sometimes we are attracted to people, because their presence in our lives speaks to a deep unconscious need. We are often attracted to the people that we are attracted to, because of the emotions they illicit within us. Awareness is a battle half won... so what I do ask you the next time you meet her, is to ask yourself 'what am I really getting out of these feelings which are being aroused in me?' For a moment, look away from the person, but more on the process that occurs inside of you towards her. It could be 'the need to chase', 'the need to prove myself', 'the need to attain the unattainable'... check what is driving you to keep being attracted to someone who is not reciprocating your energy, and perhaps once you have figured it out, the next time you see her, well... it could be different.
You don't have to forget it. You just have to realize that love doesn't have to be returned to be felt by you, and that not having it returned doesn't mean it has to be painful. Presumably you love this person because of who she is, not for what she can do for you. Just enjoy the feeling of caring for another person.
I know it can be so tough. We so want the other to love us as we do. We wait, we hope, we cry. But the truth, we suffer alone. All the anxieties, heart beats racing, all the depressions, all ours. The one we love seems to be much happier and relaxed. There is where we need to face the reality. The reality that you are to take care of yourself. You are worthy of much better than those day and night sufferings. Gather courage, and walk away from the one-sided tormenting thing, walk on a path that deserves you better. Even though it may be much tough, but that's the only right path. Walk with people who care for you better. Who knows? Tomorrow, the same person you once one-sided loved would come to love you without you asking. And who knows? Tomorrow, something beautiful may meet you on your path of courage and freedom.
Remember that you don't know everything about this person. Perhaps you're fantasizing about how wonderful she is, when in reality you may not at all be compatible. Enjoy being her friend, but understand the difference between fantasy and reality. Try to find someone real that can make you happy. :)
in fact you are lucky that you will see him/her everyday , it's better to face your pain better than hiding from it you need to to know that each one have his perfect mate that he will meet one day and maybe it's not the one you match with , you should act normally smile and trust yourself , be gentle and decent , cheerful , calm meeting that person everyday will make you used on it and then you will find by yourself later that you must go on
hmm....a perfect question for me :) I guess. Actually we should not try to forget that one side love . We should accept 2 truths . One is Yes I love/loved him , second one is , he/she doesn't love him at all. You should not afraid to accept the truth . When you accept it , you will see the change internally. be confident about yourself .
Its not easy to not think about love when someone's on your mind - more so, when you have to see him/ her everyday at work, in college/ school or otherwise. I believe, it's a very gradual and long drawn process, and it comes with great pain. To start with, accept that you guys can't be together - know that you can't force anyone to like you back. Also, one formula doesn't fit all but, one thing that in my view helps is, focussing on why you are at the place you are. If you are in office, try and spend more time on work. In school, focus on studies/ classes a lot more, and try to excel there. Make genuine efforts to make a friend circle that is outside his/ hers. These are all small steps that inch you closer from moving on.
In my experience realize that we are grieving over the loss of what could of been is paramount. Also, to keep oneself distracted and to limit their interaction with this person is important.
Think hard about whether you love her or just want to really get to know her more as a friend. Sometimes the two can get tangled together.
IF it is a one sided love, its not worth it. I mean you should know the fact that she don"t feel same for you and maybe there is someone else for you., who will love you in the same way you love her
I don't think you will ever "forget" about her, but you do need to try to move on. Forgetting about someone will do you no good. As this will get rid of any learning experiences that you have made. In my own experience, you cannot force yourself to move on.
Keeping yourself busy and distracted while: her presence. Carry along with you a journal to record any feelings you may have felt seeing her. Keep good company with you and near you to have someone to talk to keep the awkwardness away of seeing her daily.
Love is a peculiar thing. It's everything worthy and beautifully about the world we live in. However, there is nab grand misconception about what love is at times. This confusion is due to they way it takes ahold of us and how we so desperately want to believe in it. Contrary to our emotions and feelings, Love itself is not sovereign. There must be more, there absolutely has to be more for you to have something shared and real. Trust, effort, communication, compromise, intimacy, willingness to learn. Love is just not enough to remain in a one sided situation. It's not fair to your nor is it healthy. Allow yourself to be open to meeting someone who wants love to be two-sided.
You don't have to forget about her. You should tell her how you feel and if she doesn't accept you for being honest with her then she's not worth your time.
It's hard to get over someone you love. I loved my best friend for 9 years...eventually he started dating someone and I had to realize that he didn't want me like I wanted him. At that point it was more of did I want to lose him or could I just stand being friends. Eventually I chose friends because if I lost him I don't know how I would go on. He has been my best friend since 3rd grade...You just have to accept it sometimes. It happens.
There's a reason she doesn't love you back. You deserve better. You probably haven't met the right person yet, but she's out there. Imagine that you'd miss her just because you're caught up in your old love. I know it's hard, but you have to be selfish and put yourself first.
Just try to focus on something more important in your life. Also, talking to her might help, as you could realise that she isn't actually who you liked, but someone you want more as a friend
You don't have to forget her,if you love her tell her or you'll never know,she might love you back.
Unrequited love is one of the most common issues individuals deal with, yet can be incredibly bothersome. The first thing one must remember is, getting over any strong emotion takes time. Don't feel discouraged if you cannot do it overnight, because few people, if any, can. And if you desire a relationship, one thing that might be worthwhile is to try to meet new individuals. Who knows - when you meet someone else who is equally or even more compatible, the recovery may happen naturally!
You should focus on some other stuff, eventually it will hurt less, but if you didn't make the first move you should go for it first.
Aw, I'm sorry, lovely. I'm afraid we all have to face that at least once. Luckily, that means loads of your friends and close family can help you! Talking it out helps loads, and don't forget that crushes are grown out of
Face her with an open mind that you want to move on. Begin to look at her as the past and as a person. Don't try to forget because that will never happen, try to focus your intentions on moving on.
Accept how you feel and try to move on
You can forget your one-sided lover by remembering that you can do better. Remembering that you are an important person who is worthy of the same love that you give out.
You can always just keep meeting her everyday and maybe one day she'll see you as something more than just a best friend.
You can't forget her if you have to see her daily. What you CAN do, is practice realizing in your mind that your love is one-sided and it's a wonderful thing that life gives you a choice of who to love. Try to open your mind to befriending other girls who might someday be your true love and return your feelings. Best of luck and love to you!
Instead of trying to forget them maybe trying filling your mind with a new interest or hobby. Try to have something that you go to in your mind every time they enter your mind.
I won't be annoying and say "You should tell her" or anything like that. People have reasons why they don't want to tell something like that. Just that maybe it will be easier to get a closure, or start something with the person. Then again there might be something that is an obstacle. So i won't get into this a lot. Now about your question. Some scientists say that you'll never really forget, but i did. It' more of finding a way to forget. You can try to occupy yourself with something else, have something else on your mind so you won't think about her. Some people try to find flaws in peope they love, so maybe that can work. You can start something new with someone else. Or if somehow you can not see her for some time, but not think about her, it could help. Maybe you'll get more helpful answers. But i wish you luck, and if you have problems, or just can't do this alone, you have people on this site :) I still think that it might be the best to confront her, and tell her, but it's your decision. I wish you all the best!
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