Hi, I'm really sorry you're experiencing the crushing expectation to lose weight. Many times, people say "You're just telling yourself that," or "You're perfect just the way you are." This can be very hard when you feel the constant pressure to drop a pant size, and it's the kind of pressure that you feel like you can't control.
The need to lose weight can come from many different sources. From the constant barrage of too-thin celebrities, to the body type or our family and friends, to the opinions or bullying from others, to genetic predisposition, we might be left unsatisfied with our body image.
Sometimes, this dissatisfaction can lead to an eating disorder. Eating disorders are serious mental illnesses that need to be treated as such. If you find yourself experiencing disordered thoughts or behavior, such as restricting, binge and then purging, abuse of laxatives or diuretics, then I strongly strongly advise that you tell a trusted adult about these things that you're experiencing. I can atone to this from my own personal experience. During my freshman year in high school, not only was my mom starting a huge diet plan and very open about her calorie count, but I was also dealing with bullies. I turned to anorexia to help me feel better, to help me control something in my life when it seemed like I couldn't control anything else. Although I dropped weight very, very quickly, I also passed out a lot, I was always cold, my nails turned blue and my hair is now stringy and thin, even after I've self-recovered. And even though its now over a year since I started eating healthy again, I can't look at any food the same way I did before, without seeing calorie count, fat content, macros.
If you really feel the intense need to lose weight, do it the right way. I promise you, the results will be permanent, and you'll feel incredible. Eat fruits and vegetables, whole grain bread and lean meat. Cut back a bit on the desserts. Join your track team, get a membership to your local gym! Just don't forget to always let yourself have days of rest, and a splurge now and then is ok... pie happens to be my favorite food.
Overall, we do have some degree of control over the way we see ourselves. Try positive reinforcement such as looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself that you are a lovely person. Even if you don't truly believe it, just hearing anyone say it out loud (even if it's yourself) will help you to feel a bit better.
Good luck, love. My inbox is always open.
Stay strong, stay safe