What should I do with a boyfriend with a cheating past?
Last Updated: 04/21/2020 at 2:47am
Danielle Gonzales, PsyD
Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!
Top Rated Answers
I understand how this can be worrisome for you. Having a partner who has had a past involved in cheating can provoke a lot of anxious feelings and insecurity. The number one thing you need to do is communicate with your partner. Let him know how you’re feeling. There is of course that saying “once a cheater always a cheater”- however, of course, people can change. You know your boyfriend and yourself best. It’s important that you are open and vulnerable with him. Put your fears and concerns out into the open. As your boyfriend he has the right to know. In order for your relationship to succeed, there has to be trust. This goes for any relationship. If there are boundaries you need to set initially to feel more comfortable, that’s OK. I think it’s difficult to be in this position for anyone and I’m glad you reached out. Remember that if he is dating you he does care for you in some way- he just has to be willing to change and move on. Best of luck :)
Has he ever revealed the reason why he had cheated? For me, i don’t think cheaters are to be trusted unless they’ve truly, actively worked on the said habit. Maybe talk to him first. Get some info about his cheating habit (what started it, why he kept doing it, if he has plans to do anything about it, etc.) and lay down some personal boundaries for each other. If he does not comply, then i don’t think it’s worth to push it even further. In the end, the decision is yours. I just hope you don’t push yourself to do things that would violate your integrity and comfort. Best of luck to you both!
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