I was assigned at birth as a female and I think I act more feminine but I feel like I want people to call me a him am I transgender?
Last Updated: 12/17/2019 at 1:43am
Tim Van Rheenen, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
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There are many factors that contribute to someone being transgender, aside from which pronouns feel comfortable. But assuming you do feel transgender for several reasons and are just questioning because of your femininity: it's entirely possible to identify as a man and act in feminine ways. How you express yourself (meaning, you personality and outward expression such as clothing) do not invalidate or change your inner gender identity. A transman is still a man even when he wears a dress and makeup or uses speech that is typically considered feminine. It's not how you present that makes you transgender, but how you feel inside.
Your gender depends entirely on how you see and perceive yourself. When you think of yourself, do you see a man? A woman? Or something else entirely? How you want to be seen also contributes to helping you figure out who you are. But ultimately, what matters is how you see yourself. The way you act or the clothes you wear are not a determinant factor in your gender identity. What is "masculine" and what is "feminine" is a concept arbitrarily established by society. In fact, the concept has undergone variations throughout time and space, in different societies. So it's not what determines your gender - there are women who act masculine and men who act feminine. The determinant factor is your self-perception.
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