What's the best way to stop feeling incompetent ?
Last Updated: 07/24/2018 at 1:09am
Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.
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If you are feeling incompetent, in other words, inadequate, then the best way to overcome or change this feeling is to improve your skills so that you are capable of completing the task or behavior that is causing you to feel this way. If you feel incompetent in many different aspects of your life it’s important to realize that we all have strengths and weaknesses and that we can’t excel in everything we do. Maintaining realistic goals based on your skills and abilities is a good way to avoid feeling incompetent.
We need to remember that we are human and we make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. We can't always do things right. It's just a matter of keep trying and never give up; If you really want something, you'll make it. Just take your time.
I think the best way is to get honest feedback from people you know will be honest and care about you.
Feeling incompetent, eh? It's normal. We all feel like we don't have talent, or aren't that successful. But remember, there will always be someone better than you... Sad, but here's the positive side! YOU are better than others too. There is always something you are good at, just make a list. Remind yourself daily, or try something new everyday to find something that you are competent of. You can do it!
Volunteering builds a lot of skills and it doesn't matter if you have none, people are just happy you are there. Try donating some time to a local food basket or convention that you find interesting.
It really depends on you-- everyone is different. For some people, it helps to reach out to friends/family for support and recognition. Others can find peace easily by searching inside. Find what works best for you.
Write down some of your recent achievements and write down what your goals are. Then think about what you can do to attain your goals and focus on achieving them. You can do this!
That can be a difficult feeling. Only you are the best judge of you and your feelings. Perhaps you can write down pros and cons about yourself and work on what you feel needs some help in your life. Perhaps that will put you on the road to feeling better about yourself.
Each day try to better yourself in small ways. Take a hike, meditate, learn something new everyday. Eventually those voices that tell you you're incompetent will subside.
Start doing more things you actually love, that will make you feel better, more motivated and hopefully more productive. Or search new ways of doing the same things you think you are being incompetent at.
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