Is it normal for me to hold a grudge against my bully?

I think it's very understanding to hold a grudge against the person you has bullied you. For some reason they had decided to subject you to humiliating and stressful situations and you may have felt helpless to do anything about it. Feeling anger is a natural response to victimization. Although bullying is an atrocious crime against people, one must be able to take a step back from the situation and look at the whole picture from a logical perspective. People who bully are usually suffering from some sort of traumatic or personal turmoil in their own lives, and displace their fears and frustrations on other people. It's cruel, but it's often the only situation that they feel they have control over. Also, a lot of bullying is a learned behavior. Young children and adolescence see other, older people harassing others and they believe that it's ok for them to adopt the same behaviors. Now, I am in no way condoning bullying, but in order to understand and take steps towards stopping this epidemic, we must first look at both sides. This might also help you gain a little bit more understanding of the person who bullied you. You are never obligated to forgive anyone, but at some point there is a need to simply move on from the situations you were put through and focus on how to better your own life. It will make you a much needed and excellent advocate for anti-bullying campaigns in your area, and perhaps even mentoring children who are being bullied might help you come to terms with your own experiences. It's important to pass on the strength that we have learned from our past.

Yes. I still hold a grudge because bullies put you through emotional and mental trauma. It is hard to get over that. I forgave my bully after 3 years but I still hold a grudge. It has been 6 years and I still have a grudge. You may never get over it but if you do, it will take time.

it is normal for us humans to hold a grudge yes especially if they have caused you pain in life

It's normal to hold a grudge against the person who caused you pain or torment. Don't let that keep you down and prevent you from being the better person and moving past it. You have the strength to push the negative to the back burner and move on with the positives.

I believe it's normal for a human being to hold a grudge, but don't let a grudge define you. Be you, and only you. Don't ever let pain hurt you, let it make you a better person.

A bully can put you through tough times so it's completely normal too, yes. Although many would probably advise against holding grudges. Grudges don't do anyone any good, especially the holder of them. I know it is difficult, but acceptance, forgiveness, moving on and compassion are the best things to strive for.

Of course. While it's not healthy to hold grudges, it's certainly normal. If you were hurt by them, it's not easy to forgive or forget but it will always get better with time.

Well it's normal but it's not that good to hold a grudge against someone, I've experienced it and it's not very healthy!

Yes, of course! It's normal to be mad or hold a grudge against your bully because he/she does not have the right to bully you, and naturally that would make you or anyone else infuriated. :)

I suppose it depends on the circumstances. If this bullying is present and this bully is causing you grief and pain then some form of resentment is normal. If the bullying has happened in the past I personally believe it does more harm than good to hold grudge if a bully is out of your life. People have enough worries and concerns in the present without worrying about the past. Try your utmost to let it go, although I appreciate this is not always easy but the support networks are there, family, friends, counsellors and the active listeners on 7cups.com will all help.

At first it's very normal to want to hold a grudge. But as time goes by, you start to think if it's worth it. And end up wanting to be the better person. Always try and real civil.

Yes , what is not normal is to take revenge on a physical and psychological basis.The revenge for your bully is self improvement and prove them wrong.

yes! its perfectly normal to be mad at someone who hurt you :( but the way i see it is if you waste your time being angry at him, then he is still bullying you by making you mad at him

Yes it is,bully's are really some assholes.But you must understand the bully probably felt really bad himself,But it doesn't give him any excuse though,But yeah,It is normal,In my opinion atleast.

It's actually very unusual NOT to continue to dislike a person who has bullied you in the past--usually when there is a turnaround it's because the you and the bully had to work together against a common enemy, or the bully had some kind of big emotional realization that they did wrong and made a longterm effort to change their life. There is, however, a difference between simply disliking someone and obsessing about how much you hate them. If you're obsessing it is probably a sign that you're still feeling bullied and abused in some way, even if it's not by the same person.

Yes, it is normal to hold a grudge against a bully. They affect our sense of well-being. But is it right to hold a grudge? Probably not. We are judging them for something we don't like just as they are judging us for someone they don't like. The difference between us and the bullies is how we carry ourselves. Everyone has a set of rules they live by. As we get older and more mature our standards improve. We can't change others behavior we can only control our own. We can set a standard that everyone should live by. We can have hate in our heart for someone, or judge someone... but it's the way we choose to treat them that sets us apart.

Well... I guess for me I'm a radical in this situation... actually i'm to scared to hold grudges against people. If I were to hold one, and it escalated into physical or verbal, I wouldn't be able to defend myself. Physically, I am weak, and mentally, I am vulnerable. I usually temporarily forget what people do to me and just... well I don't know. Actually, I have people who hold grudges against me for not obeying them. and they're younger than me! ( I suppose that would be another subject entirely though)

Of course, that's a normal reaction, emotions are normal, thoughts are normal, acting upon them is different though. There are ways to deal with violence, and violence is not the answer.

It is perfectly normal for you to hold a grudge against them! They put you through a lot and you have every right to be upset and angry at them for a long time. I know I still am. One of my best friends turned out to be one of my biggest bullies, but once I had finally had enough I withdrew from him and now we don't talk. But I can see him in the hallway and feel complete anger for everything he put me through. So yes it is completely normal, and there is no reason why you shouldn't be angry towards them. Stay strong💕

Yes. They're somebody who's hurt you in the past, so it's normal for you to dislike them and hold a grudge.