AnonymousSynonymous Member Profile

New to dating

Relationship Stress / by AnonymousSynonymous

August 31st, 2024

...See more Hi all, A few months ago I got asked for my number for the first time. After talking on the phone & texting I met him for a first date and it went really well! This was my first ever date, but I didn't mention it to him and just went about it as normal. After that date we kept texting every now & then with a couple phone calls. Until recently we met up Again for a 2nd date. The date started at a coffee shop & then we just walked around. It started well as we talked, but after a bit of walking I felt like I was just talking about myself. I didn't know what to ask him and he didn't always give very elaborate answers. I also felt like he was disappointed at the end, like he didn't have a good time. We didn't make any concrete plans during the date but spoke about other places we could go to for other dates. I also feel bad because it took so long or us to see each other since I work a lot & odd hours too. I'm writing this to see if I'm overthinking him not being into it or if I'm missing any social cues. He did ask for a hug at the end of the date, which I accepted (We already discussed my personal touch boundaries), so idk if he was just nervous about asking me for a hug or if he was really disappointed in the date.... I really just needed to rant, but advise is always welcome!!!

Parents think I'm lazy

Anxiety Support / by AnonymousSynonymous

August 31st, 2024

...See more Hi all, I'd like to preface this with the fact that I love my family and they have helped me through a lot. However, as any family there are ups and downs. Today, I need help with a down... Now the problem here is my parents. I love my job, but I am part-time & don't like to overwork myself to the bone. My parents, however, are very insistent that I work more hours. Basically they want me working every weekday or more... which is not realistic with 12h shifts. They also think I should go out more to socialize, which they're probably not wrong about. However, they also make fun of me for not choosing to stay in when I have no plans or my friends are busy. They call me lazy and say I have no friends (I have at least 3 close friends they know about). Some of it is not completely wrong, but it really hurts when they say it. Another reason it hurts is that I "technically" got diagnosed by my Family Doctor with Anxiety/Agoraphobia (fear of crowds/people) but my parents don't believe in it. They said that "Everyone has anxiety & social anxiety these days". I tried once to explain it to them, but my parents kinda brushed it off by saying I got better since I can ask for stuff at the counter & at restaurants now (I couldn't do it without crying as a kid). Nowadays I just feel disheartened by their comments and "jokes" and this makes me want to go out even less. I don't know how to get them to stop or let them understand how I feel since they're so dismissive of me whenever I try to speak longer than 3 minutes. I kinda just needed to rant somewhere, but any advice is more than welcome at this point.

Sharing everything

Family & Caregivers / by AnonymousSynonymous

April 29th, 2024

...See more Hi all, I'd like to start by saying that I have the privilege of having a healthy family dynamic. I love each and every member and we get along most of the time. However lately there's been something bothering me that I can't tell if I'm being selfish about it or if my feelings are actually valid. The situation revolves around the fact that my elder sister and I are both graduating this year. My sister is graduating medical school, which she's worked very hard for and I am infinitely proud of her. I however am graduating from another healthcare related field. Now we'll be sharing our graduation party. Normally I'm very easygoing about sharing things with my sister. I had almost all hand-me-downs growing up and we even shared a party for my highschool grad and her undergrad (which were online). What bothers me this time is that it means a lot to me to be graduating uni/college since I had a really rough time at certain points and honestly almost wanted to drop out. But I feel like everyone's reaction towards me is very mild co.pared to what my sister is getting. People are already congratulating her and asking her advise on a bunch of stuff. But no ones really done anything about me... when I saw one of my uncles he was asking my parents to ask my sister something and I answered, but he said I'd be useless to him since I wasn't a doctor. Although it was a joke it really hurt me since it feels like everything I try and play up my role everyone plays it down or brushes me off in favor of my sister. I'm scared that if we do share this party I'm going to be set aside in favor of celebrating her. It's an insecurity of mine that I hate since my sister is AMAZING and she's been my idol for as long as I can remember, but everyone's reaction is just making me so frustrated and down on myself. If anyone has any advice on what to do or how to deal with my feelings, that would be helpful. Thanks y'all.

Is it just me...

Friendship Support / by AnonymousSynonymous

April 23rd, 2024

...See more Hi all, So I have a friend group (5 including me) and 4 of us are friends from highschool and 1 from college/university. I get along rlly well with 2 of them, like they were there for me when I was struggling and I feel like I can be myself with them. The 2 others, well one I've grown apart from and the other I've had problems with in the past (contradicting personalities and her playing a bit too much into my insecurities). But all this to say that I have a group of friends that we try to plan to do things together once and a while whether it be with the whole group or even in subgroups when one or two are not available. Now my problem right now is that I graduate soon and I want to plan a trip to celebrate. Out of the 5 of us 2 of us are supposed to be graduating, 1 is doing an extra summer class and 2 are doing an extra year. A few months ago I first brought up a trip I was thinking to another country across seas sort of thing. Like a last hurra before some of us enter the work force, but 2 said no right away and the 2 I'm close with had to say no due to other plans or family reasons. Even though I'm disappointed I totally get it and even for me financially it would be rough. So I bring up maybe a small weekend trip to a city nearby would be better and they agree but then again nothing concrete... Now we're nearing grad and then end of exams and no one has said anything about a trip, so I asked again who would be interested in doing a long weekend in a Big City nearby. One says no due to classes, which I can understand. One is put of the country at the time (which I knew and I wish her an awesome trip). One said no since apparently her work will be busy and she can't take vacation during the summer. And one left me on read. Like I don't know if I'm reading too much into this, but I try SO hard to organise and initiate stuff to do with my friends. Whether it be me saying "Hey, I'm on campus if anyone wants to meet between classes!" Or "Hey, I'm studying at a cafe dowtown or in town if anyone wants to study together!" Or even just sending life updates in the gc. Their responses are always so dry and lackluster. Every time they say no or just don't respond. The only one who responds is my friend who will be out of the country. And the other friend I get along with is the only one I've gone out with to catch up since our schedules truly never sync up. I'm just tired of always putting the effort and almost always getting nothing from half the group. But I can't really let them GI since it's a group and I have no other friends to ask. I don't know what I'm doing wrong in this friendship. I thought I got better from before, but I'm just feeling really insecure about where I stand in the group. If anyone has any advice on what I should do, or if you think I might've done something please let me know I honestly want this friendship to last, but I'm so tired of initiating things for nothing. Thanks y'all.

When things look bad again,

Anxiety Support / by AnonymousSynonymous

April 20th, 2024

...See more Hi all! So I actually haven't been on here for a while. I've been really good in terms of mental health! (Yay!) I made a new friend who is honestly possibly my platonic soulmate and I've found a good balance for school, work and a social life (never thought I would ever WANT to socialize). I've also gained a lot of co fidence from school and work and just being around the right people. Thanks to them, I'm almost about to graduate!!!! From the last time I used this app, I'm doing much much better and im proud of myself and all that I've been able to achieve and overcome. Even if it was all in my head. Now, what brings me back here is that I almost had another panic attack during my last presentation. It's not necessarily the presenting part since I know all my classmates and the prof is actually a mental health teacher and is very supportive. However, it was the fact I wasn't presenting when I expected to, I was presenting one of last spots. I don't know if it was the unexpected change of plans or if the dread was just building up the whole time (about 4 hours before it was my turn), but I was really freaking out internally. I could feel my heart beating so fast and I had to really focus on my breathing. Even when I went up I was so nervous, I bearly remember what I even said. But I did it. So this to me felt like a big step back from the progress I've been making on my own. In the moment I felt bad about it and thought I couldn't have done well. But as I reflected I realised that I handled the situation as someone I would've admires all those years ago. When I knew I was getting panicky, I started my breathing techniques almost without realising it. When being around people felt like too much, I stepped out in the empty hallway. When I didn't know what to do without spiralling I chugged a bunch of water. When I didn't feel prepared, I reread my notes and realised that I knew my stuff and there was nothing more I could do. When I finished my presentation and went back to my seat my classmates and some girls I bearly knew encouraged me. This made me realise that not only have I learned how to deter my anxious spiraling thoughts... I've also established a great support system that will reassure me and help me when I'm not sure how to help myself. This post is really long, but I feel it's always important to reiterate that even when things seem to be getting bad again, things will look up. Just take a look at the progress you've made since your Day 1! You can do it! I'm cheering you on! Thanks y'all!

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