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CelticStar7
1 1,248 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts117 Forum posts36 Forum upvotes80 Current upvotes80 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceAugust 23, 2016
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Nothing is worth it anymore
Depression Support / by CelticStar7
Last post
 October 20th
...See more I've mainly reached a point where anything I do, isn't worth it. What's the point? I'm barely living life as it is. I wake up everyday because I am a parent and needed. Nothing excites me, nothing to look forward to. Feeling as if I'm always being punished by s.o for past mistakes and big mishaps that caused friction in the relationship. Wants nothing to do with me. I feel so alone! It's like I'm not meant to have anyone so close to me, without me destroying part of their life somehow :'(
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Anyone else in a similar boat
Personality Disorders Support / by CelticStar7
Last post
 August 9th
...See more I was diagnosed with BPD in 2014. Fast forward to July 2026, updated diagnosis from a psychiatrist. BPD is still in play, now it's taken a back seat while ADHD and General Anxiety Disorder sit in the front. From the research I did with Google, I have an interlocking trifecta loop, meaning all 3 tend to feed into each other. The ADHD was no surprise, have had ADD since childhood (now lumped into the ADHD category). It's been a challenging couple of weeks since hearing the update. Wondering if anyone else is dealing with these 3 mental illnesses all together? Do you have any advice or suggestions to navigate? I'm already on Vyvance for the ADHD
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Just letting things out
Depression Support / by CelticStar7
Last post
 November 25th, 2025
...See more I'm just consistently depressed nowadays. I find no joy in anything. It's like I've given up on myself. What's the point anymore? I just keep annoying my partner with the stupidest things. They don't understand me at all. My memory is so foggy, I barely remember anything, which is driving my partner insane. I can't seem to find things to relax me, without it becoming all consuming then I forget everything else important! I'm so stuck in a huge rut. I don't have many close friends, the ones I have are consistently busy. I'm also struggling with body image as well, have been for 20years. It all goes to the mid section and makes me look fat! I'm also an emotional eater, so doesn't help. No motivation to want to work out, or even go for a walk. I just want to lie in bed all day and sleep. Not feasible as I work and have parental responsibilities. Thank you for reading, makes me feel heard and valid
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Nothing left to say?
Depression Support / by CelticStar7
Last post
 November 9th, 2025
...See more No matter what, there's nothing really left to say in my relationship. I've repeated too frequently, made big mistakes that is lorded over my head to ensure I never forget. The other party won't talk, they suffered too much growing up, abuse wise. I don't even know what to do anymore. It makes me so depressed, lost, alone. Therapy isn't an option. They refuse to outright, pretend it's not happening, it doesn't exist! I also have BPD, though the depression, stress and anxiety parts are at all time highs. I eat poorly, don't sleep, unless I take cannabis edibles/oil. Stressed out all day every day 😪. I'm exhausted mentally and emotionally, that has transferred to the physical level too. I can't bring myself to start difficult conversations, I always need a mediator. Alot of the stuff going on is my fault, some on their part, however they don't seem to notice or see how much it hurts me. Financially can't walk away, couldn't survive on my own in today's society of high cost of living. I am feeling trapped. Thank you for reading this far. Nice to know someone cared enough to read
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BPD and seeing self
Personality Disorders Support / by CelticStar7
Last post
 October 28th, 2025
...See more My BPD lately has really been challenging, especially with my body image and self esteem. I've always struggled with both, been mercilessly bullied throughout my life because of both. I see myself as overweight, mostly because my weight stays in the abdominal areas. I don't feel happy, emotionally eat, and always feel discouraged. Mix that with BPD and it's 1000x worse 😢. I've always been extremely hard on myself, still am. I have an extremely deep hate for my body, even when I know it's my own fault I'm like this. I'm not even desirable by my partner, they say otherwise. They are just being polite and say they love me. I don't even love me that much, how could I love the monster BPD makes me feel! I don't deserve it, I'm too hard to stay in love with. Everyone eventually walks away and abandons me when it gets too hard, dark, and especially too much on a mental and emotional scale! Thank you for reading my rants, still the only safe space for me.
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Losing myself
Depression Support / by CelticStar7
Last post
 October 9th, 2025
...See more Lately it feels like I can't get out of my head. My thoughts just keep bouncing around like a jumping bean. Alot of those thoughts have made me feel depressed on an almost 24/7 basis. Only way I escape is when I try to get some sleep. Even then my sleep isn't great anymore. I feel so drained, barely anything excites me much. My smiles feel forced, or if I show genuine emotion, I feel like crying. I don't like crying in public, I know it's ok to cry, however I always feel like I am being judged by everything I do. Anything deemed out of the ordinary or not right, or so my perception sees, I am not a good person. I barely have anyone to talk to, I'm the worst with words, which gets me into trouble alot. I internalize my emotions, so I'm not a burden. I push people away when I'm struggling, because I don't want them to be affected by my negative, depressed thoughts. I know just through looking people can speculate. My mind continues to tell me that everyone is out to get me, and that I will NEVER be accepted by polite society. I also struggle with BPD, however the depression part has completely taken over. Usually I can bounce back, however it's taking longer. Thank you for reading if you made it this far. Means alot
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My Life as a Borderline
Personality Disorders Support / by CelticStar7
Last post
 October 5th, 2025
...See more BPD is nothing to take lightly, anyone who has it knows. Everyone has their own ways to cope. Some healthier than others. Not all of us have a good support network, or even trusted people we can tell anything, no judgements. Recently my partner of over a decade told me when I try to explain things, it's gibberish!! GIBBERISH! This is also someone who constantly wants me to get to the point of the matter. I can't always unless I explain myself. Long ago, I used to get to the point! Then people expected an explanation, so my brain was rewired to do so. Now I have to revert, it's really challenging. I'm what you might call a self aware borderline, although I could be mistaken, im just a human being! I take notice of alot of how I feel and what I do. I'm like a "do as I say, not as I do" scenario. I can mention suggestions that I myself should do. I don't obviously do it. I'm so afraid of my next steps in life, I have no idea if the choices I make will be the right ones anymore! Will I just upset more people around me. I can't afford to lose anyone! I would not come out of abandonment very healthy. So much I could say, alot I just bottle up. Who even listens anymore, no one around me. It's painful when you realize that you will NEVER truly be understood by anyone! I'm living with that heavy on my heart every single day! I really hate alot about myself! Im too much and not enough! I'm either good or I'm terrible! Did I forget to mention that I am my own worst bully? Oh yeah, I'm that hard on myself. Comes from a life of being bullied throughout school. I was the scapegoat of the group, the one who wasn't into everything everyone else was! I'm lame and boring!! No one wants me around. Im too annoying! Even reading this, must be thinking I'm quite annoying? You're right! Everyone seems to be right and I'm wrong! My mind just doesn't want to give me a break. I can't let go and I can't relax, what is that? I've never heard of it. Like a vacation? Also never heard of that. I hate that I need constant validation! I feel so invalid, like I don't matter, my emotions/feelings don't matter! I just feel empty all the time, nothing makes me truly happy anymore. I just get happy moments. Anyways if you made it this far, thank you for reading. At least someone cared enough to hear me out. Have a good one
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