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pluckyPapaya5662
1 1,585 M Little Steps 6
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts64 Forum posts16 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceMarch 23, 2021
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My relationship is on hiatus and don’t know what to do at this point
35 & Over Community / by pluckyPapaya5662
Last post
 October 11th, 2024
...See more I (F45) and my boyfriend (M43) have been in a relationship for 3 and a half years. Right now, we have been on a break for 3 weeks. He doesn’t want to see me or talk to me and won’t tell me why. We have been communicating regularly over text message, but he doesn’t want to meet up in person to talk things over, but won’t break up with me. I have asked several times to meet and talk. He won’t budge on it. He won’t tell me what’s going on. I would like to get him to agree to talk with me. I still want to be in this relationship, but not sure what to do from here. 
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How do I proceed?
Relationship Stress / by pluckyPapaya5662
Last post
 November 3rd, 2022
...See more my boyfriend lost his job back in May. since then, things have been hard for him, not just financially, but also mentally. He was working 2 jobs at the time and then started working his second job full time. in the mean time, he's making a very low wage, which I know is what he has to do right now. He has had plenty of time to look for work. He hasn't put much effort into it, but it's affected our relationship because I feel that it's taken time away from us. we've also been fighting about it over the last few months. well, one night last week he got mad and yelled at me. someone called the police. they showed up and we told them things were fine. the next day he said he wanted a break, for about a month. however, we have taken so many breaks because he shuts down and feels it's better to process things alone when things upset him. I have been very patient and supportive to him through all those breaks, they have all been his idea. however, this time I got sick of it. things were going okay until last night when I told him that I just couldn't give him a month this time. that I feel being in a serious relationship we should be able to get through the hard times together at this point. how many more of his breaks do I have to put up with? I also told him last night I was only going to give him 3 more days. he said that once the cops are involved, he'd rather be by himself. I asked him what he meant by that. he said he'd rather break things off than have them involved. it really was not even an issue at the time. no one got into trouble. that I felt it was better not to talk during those three days. this morning I texted him and apologized. I said that I wanted to work things out. that I wanted to compromise and how about we make it one more week instead. he responded and said that he needs that time to himself after he gets angry. then he told me that we're always going to be fighting about his work schedule. that I don't want him to work. which isn't true at all. he's said this sort of thing off and on since we've been fighting about this. I sent him a message back telling him that. and I'm not sure if he really thinks that, or is saying it to upset me. I told high I wanted to work things out, that that's not true that I don't want him working. I haven't heard fromhim since this morning. this is unusual considering we have been communicating several times a day since he said he wanted a month break. we've been talking like things are fine up until last night when I had to set boundaries. it's about the breaks. we've taken enough of them. now I am not sure if I haven't heard from him because I said to let's take a few days to think about things and not talk, or if we broke up. it's hard to tell and it's quite blurred. honestly though, I am sick of these breaks he needs because he shuts down and can't handle hard things. I feel I was right in standing my ground . but I am not sure what to do at this point. have I ruined things, or is he just thinking about stuff?
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Did I say the wrong thing?
Relationship Stress / by pluckyPapaya5662
Last post
 October 20th, 2021
...See more So, my boyfriend told me yesterday he wants to be alone for the time being. He’s dealing with a lot of issues right now. He’s been distant for over a month now. We have talked everyday, but haven’t gotten together much. This afternoon he reached out and texted me, “how’s it going?” Then, “are you working?” This, to me means he cared enough to check in and is curious about what I’m doing. I responded with, “I’m doing okay, thanks! Yes, I’m working and explained that I spent 45 minutes with a customer and that work was slow.” He works in a store, and I asked him if his store is slow on weekdays. He said, “it’s steady during the week.” Just about an hour ago, he texted again with, “hey.” I responded with, “I hope you had a nice day.” He responded with, “I did…did you?” I told him, “my day was pretty good. I went to work and came home and played with my dogs.” Then sent another message, “what are you up to?” No response! Did I cross boundaries and disrespect his wanting to be alone by asking what he’s up to? I didn’t see anything wrong with it. But was it wrong to ask? His messages to me tell me that he cares about me. He’s checking in. Now because I asked him that, he won’t do that now. If anything, I don’t want him to think I’m disrespecting his needing to be alone. I now worry he’ll end up blocking me. Will he? Did I say the wrong thing.
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How Do I handle this Situation?
Relationship Stress / by pluckyPapaya5662
Last post
 May 27th, 2021
...See more My ex and I broke up a month ago. We went totally no contact at that time. Just last week, we started talking to each other again. We had a very nice talk. We decided to be good friends. However, I am heartbroken. I was hoping we’d be able to work things out. I told him that if he did ask to work things out, I’d probably tell him no, due to a couple of issues we had that led to the breakup. But that isn’t what I really want. He said he’s not ready for a relationship yet, with anyone. But did not close the door on possibly working things out later. I want him to know, that provided I am still single at that time, I would be okay with working things out. He does find me attractive. He does want me, but for him, he just can’t have a relationship right now. He also told me to have fun with other guys, but to stay single. Why would he say that? Unless he does want to work things out in the future, not sure why he’d tell me to stay single. If I meet someone, I meet someone. I’m not waiting around for him to be ready to date someone. He said in a year’s time, he wants to settle down and have a family. I want those things with him. It would break my heart if he had those with someone else. I want to be that person. He didn’t say that he would never date me again. He said he didn’t want a relationship right now. I ran into him at the bar the other night. He was all over me. He was telling me that I’m hot. He is attracted to me and I do think he may want to work things out in the future. But the thing is, I want him to know I’d be willing to do that. As I said, if I’m not in a relationship by then, I would like to try again. How do I let him know this. I worry he thinks I wouldn’t want to and will meet someone else.
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So, not sure how to decipher his conversation
Relationship Stress / by pluckyPapaya5662
Last post
 April 29th, 2021
...See more So, my ex and I broke up about a month ago. We were only together for a month and a 1/2, that was also how long we knew each other. It was kind of a bad break up. I sent him a letter of stuff that I didn’t mean. But then I apologized several days later. However, he has me blocked from Facebook and on his phone. I have been on vacation for the last 2 weeks. He was worried I wasn’t coming back. He’s had women take off on him before and not come back. I was at a place we both like tonight and he came in. He actually initiated the conversation when I thought for sure he wouldn’t. We talked about some nonsense stuff. But he said some things that I am confused about. First, he made a point to use my first name. Like he wanted me to notice. He also asked me point blank, “so, friends”? I told him yes. One of the major things is that he felt we moved too fast. We did. Before he left I asked if he could please unblock me. He seemed not willing to do that. Instead he said, “we’ll talk in person.” Not sure what he meant by that. Does he mean, “I want to get to know you”? Or, “ you’re not that special, so when I run into you, we’ll talk”? He also said before he left, “this is how we should have started.” I can’t remember my response to this. I think I told him okay, or I agree or something. Does this mean he wants to start over and do it right this time? I so want to avoid bringing up anything to do with our relationship when I do see him. I think he does miss me. I think he’s been thinking about things. It seems so. But I am not sure how to interpret all this. I think that he initiated the conversation is a good thing. It’s progress from what we’ve had, which has been virtually no contact since we broke up. What could all this mean?
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Now ex boyfriend rejected birthday gift before we broke up
Relationship Stress / by pluckyPapaya5662
Last post
 April 23rd, 2021
...See more My now ex boyfriend rejected a birthday gift I gave him. They were concert tickets to a show he really wants to go to. I spent a lot of money on those tickets. I gave them to him before we broke up. When I first gave them to him, he said he loved them and thanked me. An hour later, we broke up and asked me to get a refund on the tickets, which I can’t do. The breakup had nothing to do with the tickets, by the way. Then I find that on Instagram he told his friends last week that he just bought his ticket to the same concert at the same place. I feel really hurt. Why would he do that? I feel it was a slap in the face and the biggest F YOU. We had some issues where he really hurt me, and I him, and it may be possible he feel guilty if he had accepted the gift. But those tickets were for him. Now I am out that money and I don’t want to go to the concert by myself and none of my friends like that kind of music. I feel hurt because he rejected my gift, then went and got himself the same thing. How should I feel about this?
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Why would he do this?
Relationship Stress / by pluckyPapaya5662
Last post
 April 4th, 2021
...See more Why would my new ex-boyfriend (we broke up 2 days ago) call me up, half a ring, and hang up. It’s not a butt dial because it happened twice. The first time I called him back and the second time I didn’t. Is he expecting me to make contact. Is he rethinking things and wanting to talk, but worried? It’s a test of some sort, I’m sure.
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