redBeach431 Member Profile

Physical Sensations During Anxiety/Panic Attacks

Anxiety Support / by redBeach431

August 31st

...See more I feel like over the last 3–4 years, my anxiety has shifted. A few years ago, I used to be very in my head about how I wasn’t good enough, how I wasn’t cool enough, or entertaining enough, and this used to give me a lot of anxiety in social settings. These were thoughts that would run through my mind in the moment and make me freeze up or feel anxious and panicky. I went to therapy during this time and talked through a lot of these feelings, and I have made huge, huge progress with those issues specifically. When I go into social settings now, I don’t have these thoughts in my head. I am more content with myself as a person. I don’t feel the same pressure in social settings or have those intrusive thoughts. However, over the last 3–4 years, I now feel immense physical anxiety. For example, I’ll be heading to a social setting and my mind panics, and I feel like I’m going to throw up, *** myself, or get light-headed. It hits me like a truck. I have really been struggling to work through this type of anxiety because, in the moment, you just feel like you’re dying and your body is giving up on you. I feel like this has made me cut off social interactions slightly. I still try to put myself out there and step outside my comfort zone, but it is incredibly difficult. The main thing is that I feel like I’m not really present because I’m in my head trying to keep my body from breaking down and trying not to pass out, throw up, or *** myself. I feel like I’m not present and am stuck in my head when I’m around friends in social settings. Also, with things like dating, I haven’t really put myself out there because, like, why and how would I go on a date and meet people if I’m not going to be present and I’m just going to sit there feeling sick while I’m with someone? I want to be there with a person, talking, listening, and getting to know them properly. Again, I want to specify that this isn’t just me stepping outside my comfort zone. I know nerves on first dates are normal, and being anxious is normal, but this is more like I feel physically sick and like my body is about to give up. That is not a feeling you can really just push past and tell yourself to put yourself out there. If anyone has any guidance, it would be much appreciated. This has really been a struggle over the last few years, with very little progress.

Dating - A Mistake From My Younger Self Is Still Affecting Me

Relationship Stress / by redBeach431

June 7th

...See more This might be one of the most trivial issues posted on this website but it is something that is really affecting me so I'm going to go ahead and post it here anyways. A few years ago, when I was younger and going through a really painful breakup, I made some immature choices on a dating app. I was still attached to my ex and, honestly, a part of me wanted to see if she had moved on or was using dating apps. At the same time, I didn’t want her to see me on there because I was still hoping we might get back together. Because of that, I used an alias instead of my real first name and did not present myself as fully authentic on the app. I also deleted and recreated my profile multiple times during that period. Some days I would wake up and feel like I needed to move on, and then later I would panic and feel like I wasn’t ready. That emotional back-and-forth ended up playing out through the app in a way that I now realize was unhealthy and probably looked suspicious to the platform. I want to be clear that I wasn’t trying to talk to people under this alias. But I also understand now that my intentions do not erase the fact that I made poor choices. I was emotionally all over the place, immature, and not thinking clearly. Looking back, I can see why using an alias and repeatedly deleting and recreating a profile was wrong. Now, years later, I feel like that mistake is still following me. I’m older now, more mature, and genuinely trying to move forward with my life. I want to meet people in a healthy, honest way and have the chance to build a real connection. But being banned from a major dating app makes me feel like a decision I made when I was young and hurting is still defining me today. It honestly makes me sad and anxious. I know I made a mistake, and I take responsibility for it, but it hurts to feel like there may be no path to show that I’ve grown. I keep thinking about how younger me was reacting from pain and confusion, and now present-day me is paying for it while trying to move on. This all happened about six years ago, when I was in college and living in a smaller city. Since then, I’ve moved on from that phase of my life in so many ways. I’ve grown up, matured, moved to a new city, and built a very different life for myself. But now that I’m actually ready to date in a healthier and more intentional way, it feels like this old mistake is blocking me from moving forward. I guess I’m posting because I feel stuck between accepting responsibility and feeling heartbroken by how permanent this feels. I know this may sound trivial to some people, and some might say to just use Bumble, ***, or another app. But we live in a time where dating apps are one of the main ways people meet and build real connections, especially as adults. Hinge in particular has a reputation for being more focused on genuine relationships, and it hurts to feel like I may be permanently shut out of that because of decisions I made when I was younger and emotionally struggling.

Psychiatry Advice

Depression Support / by redBeach431

April 24th

Chronic Pain Advice/Support

Disability Support / by redBeach431

July 19th

...See more I’m a 25-year-old male, and I’ve been dealing with chronic pain for about 4–5 years now. It originally started with stomach issues and severe constipation. I was able to get past that for a while (not entirely sure how), but over time it shifted into something different. Now I experience ongoing muscular pain on the left side of my body — starting from my neck and going down through my upper and lower back, into my hip, ankle, and foot. It doesn’t seem like nerve pain since I don’t have numbness or tingling, but it’s persistent and really hard to ignore. I’ve seen multiple doctors over the years, had tests done, and even tried physical therapy, but nothing major has ever come up or fully resolved the issue. Because of that, I’ve started to wonder if this might be more connected to stress and anxiety. The pain is on my mind almost constantly, and it makes it hard to feel present in my daily life. I feel stuck in my own head, always aware of my body and the discomfort. It’s exhausting, and honestly, it’s really demotivating to feel this way at 25 — like my body is already broken this early in my life. At this point, I feel like I’ve explored most physical explanations, so I’m trying to understand how to approach this from a mental or emotional perspective. Has anyone gone through something similar? If so, what helped you manage or overcome it?

Need Advice: Porn and Masturbating Addiction

Addiction Support / by redBeach431

16 hours ago

...See more I don’t know what more to say here that hasn’t already been said before. However, this is my struggle with porn and *** addiction and a little insight as to how my mind works and relapses. Right now is a much harder point in my life because I recently graduated from college hoping to get a job out of college but the market for my current industry is down in the trenches. Due to this, I currently live at home with my parents and don’t leave the house as much because I live in a city where there isn’t much to do and the weather is awful making it not ideal to leave. I have conditioned my mind to watch porn and *** when I am bored because of my current circumstances. I wake up and it's the first thing on my mind and find myself on sex-related websites not even realizing that I immediately woke up and without even getting out of bed was immersed in sex-related websites for 2 + hours in bed. I finally get myself out of bed and do whatever small tasks I have for the day such as gym and running errands and then stay locked up in my room all day where then I start to get bored and then turn to porn and ***. I feel like it's an addiction because of multiple reasons. A its not healthy that the first thing I do when I wake up is spend 2 hours without getting up just immersed in thinking about sex and adult websites. Second I can go max 4-5 days without *** but when I fall. I fall hard. If I try to not indulge but then fall after 4-5 days my mindset is “Oh I relapsed today let me just indulge and get out it my system and try again next week” and then go on to *** 4 times a day or just every day until Monday comes and I can restart. I think it's an issue because I have no control. It sucks not having control over your mind. I want to be strong enough to overcome this but I find it immensely hard. I don't know what to do and I am so lost.

Porn Addiction or Not? and Possible Recovery

Addiction Support / by redBeach431

October 26th, 2021

Bipolar Support

Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by redBeach431

May 18th, 2021

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