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valentinorossi46
3 25,065 M Aiming High 5
my fault - eminem
PathStep 46 Compassion hearts1,088 Forum posts173 Forum upvotes79 Current upvotes79 Age GroupTeen Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceSeptember 25, 2025
Bio

school flunkie pill junkie

mad cus they cant tame me

good f ing luck youre on your own man

guess whos back

but i do know one thing though

somebody save me me from myself

you dont wanna f with shady cus shady will f ing kill you

just a little bit no a lot a bit i really really gotta quit

you got an addiction man

i was supposed to be the soldier that never loses composure



















Recent forum posts
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the pattern
Poetry / by valentinorossi46
Last post
 May 9th
...See more i thought i got better but im back in this wretched loop of my personal circle of *** i remember her yell at me saying i hated her and i would yell too trying to prove that  i wasnt so bad until i realised she had made me hate her i used to hope for understanding search for love where there was none just a never ending list of insults that wasnt done id used to yell back try to be heard now i just stand  shoulders hunched like a sack and brace myself for the machine gun that is her mouth the insults the hate maybe this is just my fate to be the son who had a mother that couldnt love nothing has changed the yelling never ceased the punches still flew yet somehow before it didnt feel so bad it felt less blue now after the yellings done i go to my room get myself cleaned up take a smoke and grab a drink anything so that i cant think about what shes said and done the time she told me shed be happy if i ran away as long as i didnt come back the time she nearly pushed me down a staircase because i had talked back the many fights both word and fist will never erase from my mind   i remember the hospital lights from the time i didnt eat for days because even i myself couldnt be kind even to me especially to me id been taught that i dont deserve anything above the bare minimum id been told all a parent has to provide is clothes, shelter, food and education just the bare minimum which love isnt a part of the person who was supposed to protect me was the one i needed protecting from shed be a good mother somedays acting like nothing had ever happened but cant you see?  its all a part of her plan get me to trust her just to make it worse in the end once ive stopped falling for those tricks shed get mad call me ungrateful even though all ive ever had from her was hate she did sacrifice so much for me and i admit that i care that im grateful but it does not compare to the amount of what she but me through it isnt fair to demand thanks after doing such things i cannot deal with this much more as i do not know what for it wont stop until i leave yet thats still years away for now i simply try to forget and ignore as i cannot even cry anymore.
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Pen Pals / by valentinorossi46
Last post
 December 16th, 2025
...See more @thebatman112 yo man u good? havent heard from u in a bit
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tw/ a regular day
Poetry / by valentinorossi46
Last post
 December 15th, 2025
...See more i went to school feeling oh so drained i barely slept no point in it anyway i was not a fool but i was quite pained all night i wept i never could have my way at school i didnt pay attention i slept in class in hopes of getting any snippet of rest i could i needed it to deal with my home there was no direction in my life i was just betting on whether or not this day could be good i just hoped i would be left alone the bus ride was silent like everyday i just stared out the window and thought about life and her actions and true love maybe hoped something bad would happen like getting robbed in an alleyway because i was taught that love isnt given its earned or collected like crumbs off the floor that nothing i wanted should happen so i believed that when i needed affection i was like a whiny old dog begging for love and attention and getting kicked like a rock when i got home it was reflex to take off my bag and do dishes then i went upstairs hoping to stay unnoticed yet failing once again i really tried to deflect when the yelling started my only wishes were for it to end and for me to not get noticed again i went to my room and did homework losing myself more as i wrote i could hear them fighting and yelling through the thin paper walls i felt like such a jerk  i just wanted to write a note then slit someones throat and go to jail i tried to focus on spelling but i couldnt help but listen to her calls she talked about me a lot about how i was a bad kid how i was hard to deal with how she didnt like me but i fought and i hid from my thoughts and myth i just wanted to be id try to sleep but mostly wouldnt and would just think what would it be like to be de*d i wanted to keep my brain from going there but couldnt i would stare at the ceiling and blink until my whole body felt like lead those days were tough to live through with no reason to keep going but i somehow made it like a zombie barely holding on its a hard truth to chew but i wasnt even growing in any way just living on now im still lost i will not lie but at least i have a point a reason not to count my days but theres a cost i got high i smoked a joint and that got me out my ways only to make me into something worse
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tw/ a meal
Poetry / by valentinorossi46
Last post
 December 14th, 2025
...See more tw/ verbal abuse, body shaming. ed those words will be stuck in my head till the day i d*e youre so fat i wish i could lie but im not a mat i have *** eyes i see youre overweight you need more exercise but maybe its fate for you to be like this oh i wish i could forget this insane diss i heard when i was twelve its been in my head everyday since  playing like a broken record everytime i sit down for a meal oh you shouldnt eat that itll make you even more fat i simply watched as i ate less as my weight fell quickly i was a mess i looked sickly but only to others i was still fat in my core to myself if only my mother had stopped to think about the effect her words would have on me maybe i wouldnt be  so wary of how some calories affect me but she didnt care she still doesnt she can only share how what i do wasnt a thing back when she was a kid how everyone was normal there were no disorders amid even though they just werent formal now everytime i look at a plate of food i feel like a war rages inside of me yo cmon man you know it tastes good a few bites wont k*ll you  cant you see? oh my god no! you better not touch that! would you really stoop so low? all thats got to give is fat i cant control the thoughts and urges i cant find a loophole all i can do is try and purge these things out of my head i dont eat breakfast anymore usually dont feel like lunch or bread i only eat dinner and furthermore throwing up has become the usual even if i dont feel well after this lifestyle is brutal i hear no laughter anymore i want to stop i wish i could but i cant swap these thoughts so crude for new ones so i just sit staring at the plate eating bit by bit to have a fate and chance at beating this
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tw/ the loop
Poetry / by valentinorossi46
Last post
 December 13th, 2025
...See more tw/ drugs and alcohol abuse somedays were really tough i couldnt bear the yelling i went out to clubs a lot and drank and smoked and snorted my life was rough but im not telling on all the people whod done me wrong im just saying that sometimes the only distraction you can find is a bong a tab or bottle a cig or a vape a substance a drink just an escape but it never helps not for long anyway the high never lasts and you have to face the messed up world that we live in but you dont want to so you chase the same effect except it wont be the same youll have to take more use heavier things just so it can affect your broken self the same way it did the first time soon the drugs will be kings and youll be simply a servant a vessel a body just an observer of your own future and actions youll hope to quit and hate being like this with a passion but its not that easy and simple its not rational you want to stop being a junkie yet you buy your meth smoke your weed and snort your coke hide your high from the people you care about not to dissapoint them youll try to get out of this wretched loop but youll fail and some might condemn themselves to this life theyll stop trying theyll lose their fight theyll keep lying to keep themselves high some will keep going though through withdrawal and all the urges come out damaged tired beaten down but sober and some will be proud of their achievements some will be loud about their improvements yet if they do pass this awful test they wont be fragile like glass but they might be a mess theyll try their best even if its mediocre to others just know theyve done more than the rest to be mothers fathers brothers sisters and lovers friends and not junkies.
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tw/ the thoughts
Poetry / by valentinorossi46
Last post
 December 13th, 2025
...See more tw/ su!cidal ideation, self inflicted injury i sat on the floor staring infront of me i locked the door i never wanted to be this way i was just a kid they kept saying things i hated it i stared at my arms littered with cuts big and small old and new deep and shallow i think i really hated my guts i dragged the knife across my skin i carved your name remember when we were still small and didnt worry we had it all my memory is blurry i realize that im crying the idea is petrifying yet so freeing a few minutes and itll all be over i notice that the blade is still on my skin red beads starting to cover it then i get up  no time to waste set up the rope in an unsteady haste i stand on the stool loop round my neck i suddenly think about school maybe if i was cool then someone would surely care now my arms just hurt as my eyes start to water my cat walks in alert she runs to me her body hotter i scramble to get out the noose i fight i grapple i fall i breathe i see that this is not my end but theres no bliss this is a trend i try and fail at even death.
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tw/ that day
Poetry / by valentinorossi46
Last post
 December 12th, 2025
...See more tw/ sexual assault i can still feel his hands on me touching, reaching, feeling me that smirk so smug and sure i dont think ill ever forget i dont know what for he did all that to me did i do something wrong? was this just meant to be? i didnt think i could belong i thought this stuff  could not happen to a guy oh god please tell me why oh why oh why i didnt want for them to feel on all my skin yet i did not resist when his hand slid beneath my waistband while he held onto my chin i cried but didnt stop him and despised myself for it i let him do what he desired let him satisfy his grim egoistic  wishes using me for his pleasure i remember i hit him later that night i came to my senses i began to fight i threw a punch and broke his nose yet he still took my innocence my hope and now i plead if youre like him stop yourself youre ruining them theyll hate themselves for no good reason except those dirty filthy rotting yet invisible marks on their skin
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tw her.
Poetry / by valentinorossi46
Last post
 December 11th, 2025
...See more tw  abuse sometimes i sit and wonder was it ever meant to be this way? should i have just been better? was it my fault anyway? did she ever even think about what she was doing i can still hear the sound of the pipe hitting my face blood pooling i felt the warmth on my head then my hands came away from it red i looked up and saw she was crying desperately holding me in her arms i though to my self is she lying? my brain was supposed to sound an alarm but i sat there and didnt do nothing i was shocked at her instant switch i couldnt think i dont remember being able to do a single thing except sit there and try not to flinch some days she would just hit me some only yelling sufficed some she would suddenly be kind to me and i was enticed i only wish id realized quicker the pattern that was clear as day she would hit me with vigor and yell and insult and laugh yet everyday felt grey now i finally get it she really doesnt love me i cant leave but at least i split normality from this *** attempt at raising a child who doesnt want to be here.
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