Sexual Assault
I’m not sure if I was sexually assaulted… 4 years ago when I was 16 I gave oral sex to this guy. I did consent in fact it was my idea. However during it I kept being hesitant and I know he got irritated with me because I was not pleasing him apparently. I was inexperienced and regretful of what I was doing. All I remember is I had stopped for a second and was sitting on the floor and he put it in my mouth and started to very aggressively thrust his you know what down my throat at the same time he was holding my head and pushing it down. all I remember is I had tears coming out my eyes and snot coming out my nose. However I never stopped any of it and just let it happen. I believe what made it stop was when I almost puked and I think he either let go or I pushed him off it’s kinda cloudy. Then I was coughing my lungs out and I just heard him laughing at me. Best part of the story is he told people I sucked him off and people at school made fun of me lol. Reason why I’m asking this is because I had told my mom recently but never the details or the part where I was a willingly participant and I felt I lied to her because it wasn’t totally assault ? I don’t know and I’m confused. Either way maybe he was just an ***. Please help.
@blueMelon4412
Here is the thing you tried something was not working you stopped and does not matter at that point if he had not done what he did you may since you regretted it just stopped all together....
What he did was assault and aggressive you never consented to that.
@blueMelon4412
recently, I experimented with another guy. At first, we were performing or each other at first, didn’t know what to expect. I’m still confused on whether or not I liked it. Through the whole process, I was very uncomfortable and shy. But after I orgasmed, he asked if he could *** between my butt cheeks. I said OK to that which point he aggressively bat me over and at first started to ***, but then he jammed my head into the pillow and started to have *** sex with me. I screamed out in so much pain, but he continued until he was done, which felt like he eternity. Then he he told me I would get used to it the first time always hurts. I never told anybody about this. I just am very much lost and confused and trying to understand what happened. I’m still not sure of my sexuality.
@blueMelon4412 I had close to the same experience that you did. I liked this guy and I dated him and around the 4th month I gave the idea of touching each other, and so we would. It happened for about 1 month and then I started to feel weird I didn't like it anymore and it felt wrong so I set a boundary w him and he said "Okay". Just when I thought I fixed this issue he would get hard for no reason and then I would start feeling guilty, I already had PTSD from sexual assault in the past so it brought me back to my past and made me feel like I was obliged to "help" him ifykwim. So the boundary broke and he continued doing the things for like about 2 months and I just never got the courage to say no. Sometimes I would even physically show my discomfort bc most of the time I would be on my period, and *** he never understood. He also never asked if I consented to any of these acts after the 5th month bc he "thought" I was okay w it. So idk, *** a part of me was wrong for not speaking out so idk if I consider this SA either.
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@blueMelon4412
I'm sorry for what happened to you. No one including you deserves to be treated like this. And no matter if it was consented or not, if you don't feel comfortable and want to stop at a point, it should be respected and not forced upon.
