35+ Community Check-in December 28-31, 2020
Happy Monday to all of you in the 35+ community. I hope you all enjoyed your weekend and the holdidays 
Rumination 
Have you ever been stressed all day because you can’t stop thinking of something unfair that happened that morning? Or the previous week? 
If so, you’re not alone. Many people obsess over stressful things that happened, find it hard to let go. When these thoughts turn more negative that's known as rumination.
Rumination is as stressful as it is common, in that it takes a situation that has already caused stress and magnifies the stress and the importance of the situation in our minds.
Mindfulness can be very helpful in dealing with ruminating thoughts as it directs our attention to the present experience by simply doing breath awareness, be aware of your breathing and the feeling of breathing in and out. This shift helps us stop rumination behavior.
Do you find yourself often dwelling and ruminating on the past?
What helps you to get back to the more important tasks of living your life?
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@amiablePeace77 Rumination is a tough oen for me. I can remember details of things that happened a really long time ago and they stay with me. Sometimes I'll think about a mistake I made 20 years ago a,d still get as big a pit in mystomach now as I did then. Mindfulness has been the only thing that has even come close to helping, but it's still exhausting.
@WEDway1971
It seems that you have a hard time to forgive yourself for things which went wrong but I believe you did the best you could at that particular time. I hope mindfulness will help you to forgive yourself and to become less self critical too.
One thing that helped me once was to simply write down what happened and to tear it in very small pieces and discard them.
This is a link to a video I find helpful https://youtu.be/CemZnL15Mew - "how to handle mistakes"
@amiablePeace77
Do you find yourself often dwelling and ruminating on the past?
I am always reminded of my past which I find unfair if I am trying to wrk on my future. How can I better mysedlf when I am constantly reminded of the past.
What helps you to get back to the more important tasks of living your life?
I journal write every night on things that happened or a to do list to make sure I do not redo the things ( mistakes ) in my life
@pamharley003
I wish there would not have been so much pain in your life pam. 
It's hard to meet the past with acceptance about what happened and make peace with it. I like your approach with journalling and making to-do-lists.
I do.. mostly on a past relationship. I was able to take something triggering and give it away, so now I'm not being reminded every time I look in that direction of the room of the arguments we had.
@AvidGamer293
Removing triggers is a fundamental step to healing. I hope coming here will help you to come to terms with your past.
Thank you for this post! It hit home today, as I am dwelling on things I should not. Life isn't always fair and i understand that, but sometimes it is hard to NOT keep returning to the disappointment. Today I am utilizing this app and in between doing fun things with my kids to keep my mind off the unpleasant thoughts in my head.
@Jade5457
I believe we can't just delete feelings of disappointment, they simply will pop up here and there but the important thing is how we respond to them, the choice to either dwell or to do the right thing like you are doing, focus on something more positive and having fun with kids is just wonderful to keep your spirits up
Guess I will check in. Not sure what to say honestly.
@TheDude0156
Thanks for checking in. I hope to see you more often in the forums 
, topics will change with every post.
@amiablePeace77
i used to really struggle with this. I have had to work for years on recognizing when I was doing it and usually had to talk to a listener or someone objective to help me get unstuck every time. I try to do some tasks that keep my attention in order to stop ruminating. Like for me doing a drawing or painting takes up me minds focus so much that I do not ruminate while painting. So the house is full of paintings haha.
@HappyDucky8
I believe that having a creative outlet is a great way to bring positivity into your life.
Do you find yourself often dwelling and ruminating on the past? All of the time, and my family pulls me down with the past and negativity. But I can't afford financially or emotionally to live by myself. I just wish to have my own space.
What helps you to get back to the more important tasks of living your life? My friends and music and prayer
@Rebekahwriter13
Nice that you have friends and spiritual support and that music helps you to get over the rough times. I hope things get better with your family and that you will get your own space soon.
@amiablePeace77 I really need my own space
I am just realising that worry is exactly like rumination, but regarding the future. I struggle so much with both. I haven't really found anything that works for me for either. Perhaps maybe distraction eg. reading (books are life!), tv, etc. But what I want to find isn't just something that takes the sting out during acute episodes of these things when I feel so out of control. I want to find something that helps me have fewer and less intense episodes of both (worry and rumination). Where my mind is a calm and settled place, instead of this horribly unpleasant and unsettled place.
@QuietLotus
This sounds hard, I wish I would have a fix for you but do hope that coming to the site and Mindfulness will help you to deal with those thoughts. Below is the link of the discussion schedule
@amiablePeace77
I don't think people like you truly appreciate how necessary and appreciated they are. Thank you.
@QuietLotus
Thank you QuietLotus, it means a lot to me hearing this.
