35+ check in Ocotbr 31st to November 5th 2021
This week’s check in I felt needed to be shared. It is on Domestic Violence. Whether it has been done to us or someone we know, there are ways to help them and I felt this article can shed light on how to help those or ourselves. I hope it sheds light on what to do or where to turn, I hope everyone in the Community knows I am always a pm away to chat about it.
5 Common Misconceptions About Domestic Violence
Calling the police helps, trauma attracts trauma, and other truisms about domestic violence that don't hold up against the facts.
To further read up on it click the link: https://bit.ly/3Cw8eqL
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@pamharley003
Hi @pamharley003.
Thank you so much for this site.
Beneath people can introduce themselves or/and tell about a problem or something good that is happening. Somtimes I answer a little bit here. Until last week i was told if someone voted me up or tagged me. Now I'm not told anymore. I don't know how to tell 7Cup. Can you please do that for me?
Regards from Helga.
@Helgafy
You can email community@7cups.com and let them know what is wrong. It is a area I do not handle sorry
@pamharley003
Thank you so much for your help @pamharley003
@Helgafy
Yourr welcome, I am glad to share topics I think may help us all
I'm trying to send a message
How do you leave a bad relationship without any other support?
@samiotic
There are listeners here that can support you during this time. I am sorry you have no other support.
From experience, you pick up and leave and don’t look back. It will hurt and it won’t be easy but it will get easier. Leave things behind and take a small luggage that’s manageable. If you have no family go to a shelter, change your mobile number bc even if you block them they can call from any other phone number. Clean up your social media or delete and create new ones to better manage who is being added a large a friend and do not add location when posting. If you are working and are worried about a place to stay ill give you an example of what I had to do.
I had a little car and slept in it, I grabbed a membership with planet fitness and showered and dressed there. I made friends with people at work. At the time I worked in Walmart I told management my situation and asked for a transfer, I made friends or acquaintances and didn’t tell anyone my situation but would hang out with them and enjoy either being invited to a house party or a sleep over or anything that meant not sleeping in my car as long as I felt safe etc. eventually this lead to making some good friends without burdening them with my situation and turned out one of them was looking for a roommate and I had just enough money to contribute and rent a room.
This was my survival tactic. I feel sometimes if people know too much they can judge you or feel uncomfortable around you. I was just always kind and respectful but but boy I can’t tell you how many times I cried!
I was abused physically for years until I could not take another second. I left with the clothes on my back and it was the best decision ever.
When you have no support, always seek local communities in your area that can help you or get creative like I did. Where there is a will there is a way! I know it’s cliche it it’s so true ❤️🩹 best of luck 🤞
@samiotic
Here is a link that may help you https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-leave-a-toxic-marriage-4091900
There are shelters out there that can help they're a great resource I was 45 when I had to leave and had a young infant. I didn't have any support or money.
@samiotic I hope you can find support through a friend or family. Here is an article I found: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/how-to-leave-a-toxic-relationship/
Thanks for sharing
Hello, your story is very inspiring. I've been wanting to do this for a very long time. I too have no support. At all. No money, not a penny. No assets, No friends, family, not really even any acquaintances....etc. I literally do not leave the house. I don't open the door without letting him know first. I've also had increasing health problems that have made my leaving a lot harder. Recently diagnosed with MS. Have to have major surgery within the next month that will require long-term rehabilitation and care. (Full hip replacement and old femur pin removed and new one put in...very painful!!) I am only in my 40s, young for a lot of the health problems I do have. I'm certain the years of stress have taken their toll. But the day to day extreme anxiety of not knowing what I will receive as far as treatment from this person is overbearing. I can't focus on things that I should be because of it. I cannot really explain how I feel anymore, it's both numb and completely over- stimulating at the same time. But sooo very very alone foremost. I feel great Helplessness w not many options rt now. And he knows this. I feel fear, anger, forgotten, lonely, sad, soo many things all at once. Overwhelming confusion. Just writing this makes me nervous, but I am thankful to have a place to share. Thank you for letting me!
@RiverGoesBye
I wish you well in your recovery and we are here for you. ❤️
I endured years of emotional abuse. It got the point where I had almost completely shut down. Started to be worried that I was losing my mind. Couldn't focus, having trouble remembering things, not paying attention and making mistakes. I stopped talked to her and basically shut her out.
This caused more problems because she couldn't get any reactions out of me. I would just sit there while she yelled at me about everything I have done wrong for the last 12 years. If I didn't say anything the lecture last 45 minutes. If I did say something it took longer to get through it and the next time whatever I said got twisted and added to the lecture.
It Git close to physical violence a few times and only stopped because I left. She started throwing or hitting things during her rage. Saying the most hurtful things.
I never wanted to be that cruel to her and just didn't say anything.
When I got close to leaving her she would tell me how depressed she was and threatened to kill herself. I didn't know how to help her and didn't do anything. In the past I had taken her for treatments. She didn't like the medication and stopped taking it and she didn't get along with the therapist and stopped going. So I stopped trying to encourage that.
Years later here we are. About a month ago she was drunk and woke me up screaming at me that I didn't text her when I got home from work. It scared me awake and a huge argument started. I told her to get out.
She went inside and I sat in my truck.
Later she came out and told me she had taken a bottle of pills and if I didn't want her to die I should take her to the ER.
I dropped her off at the ER. She was in ICU for 2 days. They put her on a 72 hour hold. I told her and the doctors that she couldn't return home. They put her I rehab program and she is getting the help she needs.
Maybe it was wrong to kick her out like that but I can't handle the mood swings and I can't help her. I haven't cut her off completely yet because I understand that I am also part of the problem and she doesn't have any resources outside that program.
Life has been calmer and I am not having as much trouble with my memory since she has been gone.. I came here to try work on myself.
Happy Sunday!
Hi , I am new on here and I wish to be a friend hope you could accept that I would be glad !!
Hi,
I’m new to this app and I’m trying to get acquainted with it. I’m a great listener, and I like to help others with their problems (I kind of suck at solving my own problems, though).
Anyway…I’m here to listen if anyone wants me to.
@BuddhaBear0521
Hi Bubba welcome to 7 cups. I am a mentor and will love to help you should you need assistance3 with anything. PM me anytime you feel your needing support and I will help you
Im lost. I never knew emotional abuse could hurt so bad.
