Say Hello! We want to meet all 40 year old members!
I'm 43, and I can't say I ever imagined life to be what it is for me at this point when I was 23. Single and lonely, not very many good prospects for employment, my life in turmoil, not to mention the anxiety and depression from that and my own problems. It's just a complete mess...
@Skyguy9999 Didn't we imagine in our younger days that we'd be settled with a solid job, a mortgage, and for some of us, complete families by now? When I turn around and look at what a wreck my life is, I wonder wtf happened? I mean, I know how and why I got to where I am. But in our earlier years, you never think of all the ways your life can go wrong.
Just know you're around supportive people here, and a lot of us can understand how you're feeling.
Welcome to the community!
Hi, my name is Iain, I'm 42, divorced, one son who I see but don't live with, he's 15. I'm hopi G to marry again in October to the most amazing woman I've ever met, she's changed my life foreverfor the better.
I've been suffering with anxiety and depression since I was 20. I had a big breakdown about 18 months ago. It was really tough, I didn't think I'd ever get back to 'normal', but, with a lot of help, I've finally clawed my self back close to it, although I still feel weak and scared a lot of the time.
One good thing was that my breakdown and the therapy I got helped me realise what was actually wrong with me, which I whish I'd understood 20 years ago.
Life is hard, every day is a struggle, but I am hopeful.
@DownQuixote Sounds like you've had a lot of challenges in your life. Kudos to you for working your way through so many of them. I know it's never easy.
Congratulations on finding a true love to help you navigate the seas of life.
Welcome to the community!
Hi! :) I'm 43, happiiy married and have an almost 21 year old son who struggles with figuring life out. LOL I have my Bachelors in Psychology and am working on many projects and continued schooling but have been on 7 cups for just about 3 years! I recently joined the intern program figuring I might as well and so far it seems pretty good.
It was nice reading all of your posts and thanks for sharing!
@Pumpkin74 I think all 20 year olds struggle with figuring out life. Do you remember what a confusing time that was?
It's great that you're about to make your 3 year Cupsiversary. Me too! It's been an amazing time getting to know everyone and having so many resources to find.
Good luck on the intern program. I hope it's really fulfilling.
We're glad you're here!
@ladylazarus1971
Oh lord, my 20's I swore I knew it all LOL Happy Cupversary to you!!!! <3 <3 <3 I'm so glad you are still here! Good luck in all you do as well! :)
Hi all, I am 42 years old with 16 yo daughter. I am a writer. I hope could help more people in here. :)
@happylove2611 Hi there! Nice to meet you.
There are a lot of people who frequent the 35+ chat room that have children and can relate to your experiences as a parent. If you are looking for a good place to interact with and help others, that's a great place to start.
I'm glad that you found us. :)
Hi, I'm in my 40s. Making horrendous life choices but somehow still coping and happy. I know it's all got to come crashing down soon but I can't even feel any emotions about my bad behaviour.
@diplomaticSpring9917 Sounds like you have a lot going on right now. I hope you can occasionally stop to take a calming breath. Why do you feel like it's all going to come crashing down? Is there anything you can do to stop that from happening? Anything at all in your power to do?
@ladylazarus1971 I know I can't carry on acting the way I am without consequences, I know this and it's almost as if I do the things I do because I want to get found out so I don't have to face my problems in a responsible way, instead I'm taking the coward's way out. I'm confused and lost, I've never been the 'bad guy' before, it's not 'me', or at least I didn't think it would ever be.
@diplomaticSpring9917 I'm not sure I entirely understand what you're going through. It sounds very complex and dysfunctional. I was I had advice ot something to offer you. But I can tell you that you're among friends here. Never be afraid to reach out for help and companionship.
We'll stay by your side.
I doubt that you're "the bad guy" but I get your point as to what you feel you're bringing into your interactions.
Stay safe, no matter what else you are doing. And don't be a stranger. The chatroom might be a good place to look for support. Look for Thirtyfive Plus in the chatroom arena. Would love to have you there.
Hi,
I am 47
Have 2 amazing daughters ( 22 and 24)
I live in the Netherlands
Is it acceptable to say hello to all you youngsters? Hello. Have a great day, evening, and tomorrow.
@ruffneckred Hi back! I hardly feel like a youngster, but wanted to say hello anyway. I'm glad you're here.
Hi,
I'm 45 and have a mental health disability. I've gone back to school for the first time in 20 years, and am in my 3rd year and university, but feel like I am going under from all the stress. Like some of the other posters, I feel like I should have had my life together by now, but I really don't. Being disabled and living in poverty sucks, as does being physically unattractive (bad skin, assymetrical features, etc) and morbidly obese. I don't make friends with or socialize with the other students who are all thin and cute and half my age, because they don't find me interesting and I can hardly blame them. I have no friends outside of the internet, and I've given up on finding love. I don't mean to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, because mostly I don't, but this is basically my reality. All I want from life is a little bit of security.
Hello, I
@Longhair8808 What felt the weirdest about it for you? And, welcome to the community. :)
Im 43. Im female and unexpectedly finding myself alone after 18 years of marriage. I have one son. I feel like Im starting my life all over again, but it isnt nearly as easy this time as it was when I was 20. This last year has been my worse with depression in my whole life. Im starting slowly to crawl out of that pit of despair, but its one step forward, two back most days.
@Kangaroo04609 Sorry to hear about your struggle. I hope you will be able to continue to keep trying and moving forward. Hope your son gives you plenty of motivation to keep working at things. Be well.
@Kangaroo04609 Hi! I am new here too and in a similar situation. 43, two boys, and a 15 year marriage falling apart. Welcome and maybe we can find support here! Hang in there!
@Kangaroo04609
Try not to be too hard on yourself. Everyone seems to have their act together. The truth is no one does.
After my break up, it took me years to feel better. The only thing that kept me going was nothing. I wanted to give up, so I did. I had a few bad weeks, months and even a bad year.
Through it all, I made a promise to stay true to myself and work on me. I have done that. Three years later I'm feeling pretty good about life again.
One important thing is to know the difference between sadness and depression. If you are depressed there is nothing wrong with that. But going through what I did wasn't depression it was sadness.
Upon embracing the emotion of sadness the healing started.
One step forward and two steps backwards is natural. It's a time to learn and refind yourself. That is not easy at any age. I just turned 43 and there are days I struggle with it, even after three years of working on myself.
Just don't give up, accept that the rough patch will happen and see it as a learning opportunity.
No experience is positive or negative, it's how we choose to react to them that is important. The first reaction in this situation is negative and should be.
There will come a time when hopefully you can start to see the positives in what has happened. Until then, let yourself grieve, cry, get angry, mad, sad, depressed or anything else.
One day, hopefully soon, you will feel great about yourself again.
Another thing I learned, focus on the process and not the results long term.
It's easy to go day-by-day and judge it as good or bad. But, that doesn't let you know how you are doing over the past month or six months.
Grieve your loss, look inwards and find out who you are. Then make that person a reality.