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Struggles faced in your 30s - share them here

User Profile: Laura
Laura September 1st, 2015

Let's learn and grow together

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User Profile: Andreawa
Andreawa November 1st, 2020

Hi everyone,

I'm 35, almost 36 and had some struggles in my life. By now almost everybody I know is married and has kids. I am single and don't really see myself in a relationship, at least not right now. I just broke up with my boyfriend.

I also just realized that I don't want to have children. It was always "some day" for me, but I realized that this was just because I thought I HAD to have a family with children.

This freaks me out a little because I am scared of being alone.

I can't even believe I am already in my mid to late 30s.

Crazy..

Hope everyone is doing well!

Andrea

2 replies
User Profile: SweetPearCrumble
SweetPearCrumble November 1st, 2020

@Andreawa

Same conundrum, I do not want to be alone.

However, I am afraid of men now, about 95% of the men on dating sites are pure evil, stalkers, violent, only text and then read into them to get offended, think with the wrong head and potty mouths.

For me, the solution might be to go to the sperm bank and just raise kids on my own. Be roomates with another single mom.

User Profile: HarukoJay
HarukoJay January 4th, 2021

@Andreawa there's nothing to be afraid /scared about ... im 36 still single ... all my friends are already married in their 20s

i use to think that way, have family of my own and children ,then somehow it hit me that i dont need all that ... most important in life is that you enjoy it and be happy .

Being single should not make you be afraid of future...

User Profile: IndependentClydach
IndependentClydach January 13th, 2021

@Andreawa delayed reply, but i can relate. 35, recent bresk up from a 13 year long relationship and trying to figure out where to go next.

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User Profile: SweetPearCrumble
SweetPearCrumble November 1st, 2020

The more and more I listen and read stuff about how to make your marriage relationships strong, the more I realize he learned how to treat women from his wife for over 20 yeyears and he used that experience on me.

It scares me to think he may have done so on purpose; knowing what makes women attached to men. I was hurting and in danger and he was there to listen. I want to think he is a good guy but what if he was not? Two people have asked me, if I am okay, and said he should know better. I thought it was weird so I remembered it but now getting what they were getting at. He had years to learn what women want from men and he provided it. A listening ear, reassurance. Apparently, that is not a normal thing for men to do, they need to learn it when interacting with women.

User Profile: SweetSurrender2020
SweetSurrender2020 November 11th, 2020

Trying pick up the pieces after loosing my son tos tillbirth this summer

User Profile: SweetSurrender2020
SweetSurrender2020 November 11th, 2020

Trying pick up the pieces after loosing my son tos tillbirth this summer

1 reply
User Profile: SweetPearCrumble
SweetPearCrumble November 12th, 2020

@SweetSurrender2020

Ohh no! There is no deeper pain.

1 reply
User Profile: SweetSurrender2020
SweetSurrender2020 November 15th, 2020

@SweetPearCrumble

thanks alot for the commnet

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User Profile: SunDappleMemory
SunDappleMemory December 24th, 2020

@SweetSurrender2020

I am so sorry for your loss sad

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User Profile: pluckySea6589
pluckySea6589 December 18th, 2020

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1 reply
User Profile: yellowBike1922
yellowBike1922 January 4th, 2021

@pluckySea6589

Glad things worked out for you and your husband :)

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User Profile: SunDappleMemory
SunDappleMemory December 24th, 2020

At 30 I gained an autoimmune disease and stubborn chin hair that keeps growing and expanding in new area. Ugh.

Time seems much more precious and I feel fed up with a lot that I want to change my life for the better. Still trying to figure out what that means.

1 reply
User Profile: yellowBike1922
yellowBike1922 January 4th, 2021

@SunDappleMemory

Darn, that sounds rough. I have picked up a condition of my own (hyperacusis, not a whole lot of fun) and it really puts in perspective how fragile everything can be (but not always is). I get what you're saying about time seeming more precious, seemed like time was all you had when you were a kid and now that I'm older it feels like the opposite and I really need to spend the what I have with a lot more conscientious effort lol.

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User Profile: IntelligentKite2720
IntelligentKite2720 December 28th, 2020

Hi. Im 33. I quit my only job (13 years working to a toyota dealership) and i became very grumpy about cars and many other things after that. My superiors were doing manipulation and humiliating my senior mechanics. Sometimes they use very toxic comparisons between technicians. I tried my best not to fight againts each other for some coins and help/teach my senior about new stuff. But i couldnt do it anymore. Now im stuck in my life. Im starting meditation to help me to leave my comfort zone, forgive myself and carry on with my life.

1 reply
User Profile: RedEmerald
RedEmerald January 1st, 2021

@IntelligentKite2720

I know of another 33 year old that is in a similar situation as yourslef. After leaving her job to go on sick leave, she has not yet returned, being isolate and or on a job you hate, can cause psychologial damage. leaving you feeling disconnected, stuck, and hopeless. If you get a group of good friends or people, it might help. also I am proud you left a place like that workphace.

User Profile: yellowBike1922
yellowBike1922 January 4th, 2021

@IntelligentKite2720

I'm sorry you're in that position right now, sometimes things don't work out, but removing yourself from an environment that is toxic and no longer receptive to your needs sounds like a great step. I'm sure you'll find something in life you'll feel at home with yet again, just takes time and some looking around :-)

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User Profile: MaliaEternal
MaliaEternal January 3rd, 2021

I'm a listener 30 years of age, nephrologist!

Edited out the offer to provide medical advices by DayDreamWithYou 1/3/2021

User Profile: littleCity1279
littleCity1279 January 7th, 2021

Figuring out life as it whizzes by. I'm 38... nearly 40 already and my thirties were rough. Mostly my struggles are financial and school. Trying to find time and energy for these things, is sometimes impossible. Especially energy. I used to be full of energy...not so much now.

1 reply
User Profile: SweetPearCrumble
SweetPearCrumble January 9th, 2021

@littleCity1279

Same. To top it off, no one to.spend my life with

1 reply
User Profile: littleCity1279
littleCity1279 July 17th, 2022

@SweetPearCrumble I'm in the same boat myself. My bf just abandoned me actually, walked out, no word, no explanation, nothing, won't answer my texts. I'm super busy with school due to a deadline approaching to graduate so it's helping to give me something to focus on. Pinterest helps me as well.


I truly hope you are feeling better these days or perhaps more hopeful.

1 reply
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User Profile: jayen009
jayen009 May 22nd, 2021

Well...........In my case I am alone and lookinfg for someone to come in my life......what you guys think of I am 40 male.....do you think i should go for having new life partner in this age or i should live my life as it is ??

1 reply
User Profile: SweetPearCrumble
SweetPearCrumble June 8th, 2021

@jayen009

Don't give up! Find a life partner if that is what you want. I know it is draining because there are so many people and all with different values and views of what they want with life. But maybe one day, we both will find someone good. :)

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