Advice for a man who can’t find single females 30s/40s for a relationship
I feel quite lonely. I’d really like to be in a relationship. I live in a small city. It never seems to happen for me.
I have tried online, my profile tracked little attention, I sought advice to work on my profile & I didn’t do much better. I’m clearly not photogenic enough.
I have done talking therapy, and improvised comedy workshops to improve my social skills. I have returned to my old karate class ‘just because I used to enjoy it’ not because it’ll help me with this. I’ve always been a fan of snooker, never been that good, been trying to learn this year. That’s really male dominated.
I’m going to try get back to doing the odd gym class, it’s really hard to break the ice with people there, but maybe it’ll make me feel better about myself.
I have a safe steady job.. I’m trying so hard with applications to get something better, but it’s not happening.
I never got the whole bar thing… never suddenly thought this stranger likes me I must introduce myself to them. I’ve been quite hurt by my folks alcoholism, so never really bothered. Happy to visit bars with friends, but don’t have friends to do that with.
I had disappointing experience with evening classes and volunteering.
Can you think of anything else I could try?
@resourcefulFriend2347
Oh man. Your first paragraph. It's so real. "I'd really like to be in a relationship". You don't ask for much. "I'm a little lonely". No extreme, just relatable.
I read that you tried online and didn't get much attention. I suggest celebrating that. I joined an online site with a friend. They had a new date every weekend. I wondered what was wrong with me. 6 months later I was in a long term relationship and they were complaining there was no one serious out there. If you want a serious relationship, you only need one.
You don't say which sites you tried. I suggest the small niche ones. Not the big ones where numbers of hits matters. Remember you just want the one niche hit. Your niche. And it's worth waiting for.
My other, kinda weird suggestion is to join a support group or two. Don't worry too much about having whatever thing they are supporting. Blag it. They are groups of people supporting each other to be their better selves. So, as long as you want to work on yourself and are willing to help others get to where they want to go, why not? And after all, we all have some trauma, anxiety or know an addict etc. Go with the aim to be a friend to each member. Some will be impossible. But in trying, you'll pick up loads of skills. And some friends. And then you might go out for a drink with your friends and..... (just don't join the group with the aim of meeting a partner, that would be weird!)
@resourcefulFriend2347 maybe work on yourself be a guy with empathy and compassion and dont try to control your partner she is your better half not less than you