Career change after 40
Hi everyone! I'm a new Listener and have recently embarked on a new career journey and hope to become a mental health counselor one day. Long story short, I'm 40+, couldn't find a decent job in my previous profession (being an immigrant did not help), so I've decided to go back to school and shift my path completely. I'm wondering if there are any other career changers here who are working survival jobs, studying, dealing with life and not fitting in the societal labels/boxes of "things we should have achieved by 40"? 💚
Don't listen to what others say. Stay tuned in to your own needs.
Ive left jobs that were suffocating me mainly due to the authoritarian cultures. Only to realise freelancing was more my thing.
You have to figure out what makes you happy and what feeds your soul. Counseling is a great profession. I know of people who've entered into late. It's the kind of thing that enriches you while you're trying to enrich the lives of others.
I too am dealing with things that should've been achieved by 40 according to popular trend. Such as marriage. It's seriously all nonsense. Trust me. We all grow at our own pace. Everyone's destinies are unique. There is no competition. As long as you strive to achieve what your heart desires and not back out, you're on a promising path. Don't lose heart due to people's opinions.
Looking forward to hearing of your journey into counseling 🙂
@ElinaLV
@Creamyyy Thank you so much! If only that was easy - to keep the spirit and not listen to others! I grew up in a community where women were not welcomed to be outspoken or expressive, or have needs or wants. I still think I was very lucky because my parents loved me and cares for me as much as they could. But there were other reasons, like poverty and political situation, why the environment wasn't particularly nurturing to find my own voice and fully understand my gifts and passions. And at times I feel ashamed that I'm over 40 and am still trying to figure this out. But I'm trying my best to break out of that shell/guilt/shame circle. Speaking of marriage, I might understand a bit what you mean. It is such a construct! And many people (mostly women though) are being shamed if they're not married "on time", because they're "loosing" their "value". It's a very oppressive society in that way. And more and more scientific research is being conducted right now that confirms that women who are not married actually live longer and healthier lives. So, there we are;). We can chat about marriage privately, if you'd like to. I also married "late" and have dealt with a lot of opinions until (and also after) that. One think I've learned is that opinions never end, haha, someone will always think they know what's best for you.
@ElinaLV
Hi there
So good to see your post! I turned 43 this year and I am in my final semester of my Masters in Psychology. I got into it for various reasons and I am not sure where I will be going next from here but I can assure you that its never too late to do anything. In fact every new thing we learn or do helps us in staying younger. I thank you for posting this, this helped me express myself here. It feels good to read others experiences in this regard. Whatever you do, have loads of fun!!
Take care and my best wishes
@vids246 Thank you kindly! And congratulations on your final semester - that's such a big milestone! Since you're also a Psychology student I'm sure you've heard about neuroplasticity and how learning literally enhances our brain and ensures we can stay mentally sharp longer. So yes, in a way learning can be a way of staying young;), cheers to that! How has your experience been as an adult student?
Hello Eliana, I do not know how it feels, I’m 29 and I’m just realizing what I really want my career path to be and I chasing it…. These societal labels/boxes should not limit anyone…. They are just unnecessary time frames and pressures. Our age do not define any of us, and it certainly shouldn’t define where we are going to in life and what we want. I know someone who went back to nursing school in her 50’s and she’s now a nurse… If at 50 you decide to do something else that aligns better with where you are at life that’s perfectly okay.
@Cyntia241 Thank you so much for your support and for the inspiring story about the nurse! A lot of times, what we do or don't can also depend on our self-confidence. We're all impacted by others, eve if we claim not to be. But you are right that we should be allowed to pursue our dreams without judgement and agism.
@Elinal
I would like to share my personal journey, because I believe stories can inspire and encourage others. Here is mine:
I wanted to share a part of my story briefly, because I felt that I want to join you in trying to encourage one another. I am over 40 years old, and I started discovering myself or returning to study at the age of 38.
My journey began when I traveled with my husband to accompany him on a work trip in a well-known European country. I got married at a relatively young age, just two months after finishing university, and soon after I gave birth to twins. From that point on, my responsibilities at home and as a mother were heavy, in addition to my job, which I was eager to keep. Life was never easy — my children, my husband, and my home were my only focus, and I completely forgot about myself. Sometimes I went to work after sleeping only one hour.
When my children turned 13, we traveled with my husband for his work assignment in Europe. At first, I suffered a lot — I didn’t know anyone, I couldn’t speak to people, and I was even afraid to go out alone. My children went to school and my husband to work, and I stayed home crying for hours, avoiding even phone calls with family or friends.
One day, by coincidence, I found a flyer about a community celebration in the neighborhood where I lived. I hesitated for days, afraid of facing an awkward situation, but finally I overcame my fear and went. That was the turning point. I met kind people who organized weekly activities for the community, and they encouraged me to join. Step by step, I became part of them. They noticed my energy, passion, and love for learning, and they motivated me to take courses in emotional support. I succeeded in completing them, and I discovered how much I love this field. I began to dream of having a meaningful role in it.
Unfortunately, when I returned to my home country, those dreams paused again because my children were going through a difficult stage. I returned to my routine job, though with less pressure than before as my kids had grown older. But inside, the dream never died. I kept searching online for ways to stay connected to it, and by chance I found 7 Cups. I joined, and I feel so happy every time I earn a badge or receive feedback. I truly hope I can continue on this path and one day reach my dream.
@friendlyLight1447 Thank you so much for sharing your story! I can not even imagine how hard it must have been to handle everything at once - household, marriage, job, and twins!!! Not having enough sleep can not only lead to physical, but also emotional exhaustion. It was so wonderful to read how you managed to find your passion through a seemingly random encounter. Being away from everything you know, in a new country without connections and activities that bring fulfillment is difficult, I resonated with you and recognize the feeling of deep loneliness, as if I could not connect with anyone, and, thus, had no motivation to leave home. But I'm so glad you mentioned you took the step despite feeling awkward and maybe anxious. A lot of times we might not realize how many of us experience something similar, like, many beautiful, scared adults hesitating to meet each other only to find later how healing a community can be, being involved in something that's bigger than one's home of family. I think 7Cups is, in a lot of ways, about a similar community, and it's worldwide! I'm also so glad to hear you are still thinking of pursuing your dream. Have you considered some online classes in your home country to take a step closer to what you would like to do at a professional level. I am sure your 7Cups experience will be very helpful along the way.
@ElinaLV
I'm so glad to you read my story, just I want to say you don't alone so please Hold on tightly to your dream, and remember that dreams never die.
As long as we have the drive that comes from our hearts, we will surely reach our goals — no matter the place, the time, or the age 😊
Keep in touch 🙏 nice to know you 😊
@friendlyLight1447 Thank you so much! It is very true about the age, i do believe the perception of what people should or should not do at a certain age also comes from the images created on mass media. However, there are many examples of people having 2, 3 or even more career paths over the course of their lives, because most of us can express ourselves in more than just one way. If you had no restrictions, what would be your ideal new job/new career? Or what would you like to study if you could right now? PS. I recently met a woman in her late 50s, and she is just graduating as a social worker. I think, in role which are related with directly supporting others, many people seek specialists who also have life experience and have seen ups and downs in their lives. That way, even though we're over 40, I think we can provide a lot of value because we have lived through a lot of things and can relate.
@ElinaLV
You know, one of my dreams is that we become an inspiration — a story that encourages everyone who has a dream and thinks that as they grow older, their dream dies😊
@friendlyLight1447 I think you have already reached that dream as you've been inspiring so many people by listening to them here.