I have a crush?!
35 f - I just got out of a big ol’ relationship (not officially married but we lived like we were for over a decade). It’s been 4 months. Almost immediately I started crushing on some guy at work. I may have even had a slight crush on him before, but I had no interest or wonder as far as pursuing things goes because EYEEE was fully committed to my dumb idiot ex. (Ok try to ignore the sass, but also it could be important).
I love the idea of a crush. That magical silly phase before you really know someone. Being excited to see them, looking for them. Wanting to impress them or trying to act cool 😎 lol it’s fun. It’s something I missed experiencing while I was in a relationship.
My overthinking kicks into gear when I start feeling tempted to make a move. I still have very strong feelings for my ex. I want to get back together some day, but I know it’s not our time right now. Would it hurt to explore another relationship (of sorts) in the meantime? First, there’s one thing among many others that my ex (AND other exes) and crush have in common that I should maybe probably avoid: a history of serious substance abuse. The addictive personalities persist strongly, though the habits have been tamed. Second, I don’t wanna go breaking any hearts (including my own) and I’m afraid that more serious feelings could emerge. Third, I WORK WITH THE SOMBISH. I don’t want to get my men that way anymore lol
I have so many reasons why not to say something to him and one reason why: I am so curious.
So... tell me what you think about this, generally speaking. Got any advice on whether or not to pursue? Or how I’d even go about it?
I dunno I just wanna talk about it!
😂
@pasterofmuppets
Oh my, I can relate.
My husband was my first love. I often felt like I'd missed all that fun with crushes and drama. But there was no thought of doing anything because I was committed. In fact, being in a relationship made it so safe- I could fantasise with no fear that anything would come of it. Now I'm free. But it all just feels so scary. Is the excitement and adrenaline worth the heartache?
@pasterofmuppets
Hi Muppets! 😊 ❤️
Thank you for your forum post and for reaching out. 😊❤️ I commend you my friend! I know sometimes it can be a bit hard to do so.
I sincerely enjoyed reading your thoughts. It sounds as if you have a great deal to consider. Even though you may be feeling a bit confused at the moment, I find you most wise to take all of these things that you listed into consideration!💡Sounds as if there are quite a few things that could make this quite the slippery slope if you were to act on your feelings.
While I can't provide advice, I still may have some good news for you? Many times we see things/situations as providing 2 choices. It's kind of the do this or do that, that we feel that we are left with. Option A or Option B. Aha! I present to you, Option C... of "do nothing" (for now). 💫
Sometimes when selecting Option C, we are still making a choice and it kind of feels good to know that we are still in the "pole position", no matter what it is that is under consideration. No one is rushing us, no one has taken away our agency. I don't see anything wrong with the simple wait and see approach. This way, some moments can just be enjoyed.
It gives us the opportunity to get more information over time that could prove to be helpful. Might give the universe an opportunity to catch up a bit, Pronoia - the belief the universe is conspiring for you, on your behalf, to be helpful and do good things for you. Gives your crush a chance to "stew in their juices" a bit, lol 😊 if they in fact are feeling the same ways about you. If they are crushing on you too, well... by waiting a bit, one could see if he in fact has the courage or inclination to pursue you? Some men enjoy making the first move, however I wouldn't know if your crush is that way or not.
Either way, ahhhhhh, the crush, those amazing feelings sure are like Wow! 🙂 aren't they? While I don't trip up and catch a crush very often, it happens. Clearly, I am not immune so I get it ❤️. I congratulate you once again. You are still able to feel things, your heart is still open to others and to possibilities.
Some moments it feels like you are walking on sunshine 🌞 Put's a little extra kick in your step, heh? Sometimes it can be fun to catch ones self lost in thoughts, staring off into the distance, thinking of "said crush" and realize you are sitting there with a goofy smile on your face and hope that no one noticed. Ooopsie, snap out of it, back to work! 😁
I'm sending beams ✨, well wishes for you out into the universe. I'm hoping that whatever happens with this, that it will work out in your favor. We all deserve to be loved and to have someone to love. To love and to be loved might be like feeling the sun shining on us from both sides?
I'm hoping you will keep us posted. I'm rooting for you!!! 😇
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
