my boyfriend and i have been fighting and he says that i’ve been the cause
i don’t really know what to think. at first i thought its both our faults but im starting to believe its just me. he says i start all this fights and it’s not like im trying too and i dont think its every fight like he says but all it takes is me getting upset and after that we are fighting. i have bipolar depression and im pretty sure i have bpd i tell him i cant control getting upset and that i need help but he refuses. he lays there or i have to come hug him and say sorry before getting anything and i love him but this hurts he recently starting saying he doesn’t care abt the fights and says “why care about something you don’t like” he comes after the fight to say sorry but how am i supposed to feel better when he only comes after and tells me he doesn’t care and just sits as i cry. i just want help when i get upset what girl doesn’t want there boyfriend to hold them and atleast try i wanna feel like he cares again
@xoaliy
It takes 2 to fight ..it is not about who started what ......
there are issues that need to be worked out.
My person always did things they knew would get me angry then try to say it was my fault. You are correct if you are not getting support or understanding and not settle for caving in to keep the peace. IMO he is playing it is your fault because you will not stand up to it. it is a control the conversation move.
Turn the tables use the" i feel " statements like "i feel you try to blame me for every fight to shut down discussing the REAL issues." He can not say you are wrong because then You can say "how can my feelings be wrong and how can YOU decide what my feelings are" it puts them in a no win situation where blame game does not work.
Ask yourself is this a thing you want played over and over again? if not take inventory of if the relationship can be saved where both are respected or if you will be blamed as he knows it is working on you.
