Feeling a little lost
Hey there all you beautiful nerds!
You can call me Rowan, she/her pronouns. Thank you for allowing me a space to connect with other people in their 30s--it's cool to have a space for us.
I don't know about any of you, but I've been feeling pretty lost in my own identity lately. Like I spent my 20s trying to create parts of myself to love, and now that I'm 30...I'm exhausted. Can anyone relate? Curious to hear your thoughts. Thanks!
--Rowan
Hi, Rowan. Good to see u here
Hi, Rowan, to love your self?
I understand. Sometimes, I think we can be our own worst enemy by over thinking, over analyzing, or striving to be some unknown thing that others expect---in reality, we must enjoy ourselves and just be. Do little things each day that make you feel in touch with yourself. At least, that's a goal I have.
Am I "perfect" at this all the time? No way! That's okay :)
@FlowingWillow Love this! <3
Very sweet. Chat anytime..best regards & wishes! 💚
Well...........In my case I am alone and lookinfg for someone to come in my life......what you guys think of I am 40 male.....do you think i should go for having new life partner in this age or i should live my life as it is ??
If it's something that you want and need you should give it a try. I heard beautiful stories about couples finding eachother at 40 or even older!
@LightBright1990 I'm turning 30 in less than a month and I have never been so aware of how lost I am. I didn't know existing alone can be so effin difficult. It's a struggle to exist.
I relate to this so much! Hugs
@LightBright1990
I got pregnant with my first child a few months after turning 21 and had her 2 weeks after turning 22. Her father was with us until she was about 5 months and then left. I have been raising her alone since, I'm now almost 35. I have completly lost me. I became a single mom and have been one since. I had my son at 29. Even though I was with his dad for a couple years it was still like being single, he never wanted to go anywhere together and when he was home he shut himself in a bedroom, playing on the computer the whole time. I feel like I have no one I can talk to, openly and honestly. I have no friends to call up and just hang out. I spend my time at work or with my kids. Since having my daughter she has been with me 24/7, her dad never has her. I know it's different from your question but I understand losing yourself. I have been searching and searching on this for awhile and have no clue where to start. I thought getting a gym membership would help, I used to play sports in high school/college. I tend to make excuses such as not having time or I hate leaving my kids home to go to the gym. I feel guilty taking the time for myself to be away from them. I don't think you're alone. I think we all lose ourselves, whether it's from having kids, being in a relationship, or just growing older. I think we change and evlove and what used to be isn't what brings joy anymore. I think it's a struggle to find time for new things, given we work or have family obligations. However, I believe it's important to being happy. We need outlets.
@LightBright1990
@LightBright1990
Hi Rowan,
You're not alone. It's interesting because these past few days every time I'd hit my bed at night Id often wonder, with millions / billions of people in this planet, how many are as lost as I am. I am turning 30 in less than 2 weeks and the nearer my bday gets, the more overwhelmed I feel for being this old yet lost about pretty much everything. My friends and family prolly think I have it all figured out but the truth is I am terrified big time by the idea that I dont know where to go from here. I dont know if I am making sense. All I know is I am so effin lost. And yes, its exhausting to try to figure out or to try to build your own identity.
Anyway, I dont know if this is supposed to be comforting or what but I just had to comment on this thread to find some sort of release. Take care.
@passionateCup9407
I just turned 30 2 weeks ago and I completely understand the state youre in. What's helped me is that we are in a weird generation to be honest. We are raised by a generation who can no longer lead by example. Their lives at 30 is nothing like our lives at 30. They were married, home owners, stable long term jobs.. things felt a lot more simple. It's not hard to find yourself when your surroundings are stable. These days are anything BUT stable. Our peers are struggling to define the new norm for ourselves. All I know is that basically everyone I know is in the same boat. It may just take longer for us and that's sadly just how it's going to be. We are lost, but we are lost together.
I hope I could be at least a little helpful with some validation. I hope your birthday is kind to you. For what it's worth, being on the other side of 30 feels no different than before :) Big hugs.
@frailtea
First of all, belated happy birthday.
Thank you for taking time to reply to my comment. You have no idea how comforting it is. I do agree with your observations. Those are very profound. And I hope things get better in the succeeding years.
Take care now.