Marriage with no

@loquatious789

I understand you are frustrated because you grew to expect sex, and in marriage sex is expectable. Now it may feel like she is breaking her part of the deal. Now, I'm pretty sure that if you were feeling overwhelmed and if you lost a child to a failure of your body after sex, and if sex could mean that you could lose your life, you might also want to hold off on mating.

That said, maybe your wife needs some professional help to recover from the trauma of the miscarriage, and from the trauma of knowing that in a sense she is losing her father. Women can lose a whole lot of confidence and self-esteem from a miscarriage. It may help her to know that about 1 in every 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage naturally and that it is not her fault.

@loquatious789 Hello. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with this. I am not married, but I have a female partner of 10 years and I have/am dealing with a sexless relationship as well. In my relationship the longest we went without sex was just shy over one year. This was very difficult and cause many problems. Since we do not have children, it would have been very easy to just leave, but there were many factors involved and I chose to keep going.

If you feel differently in your relationship, and several months is unacceptable to you, then you may need to communicate that in a different way to her and discuss your options. I can only imagine this must be even harder to deal with when you have children, and that plays a big part in your decision. I wish you well and all the best in this journey.

I'm in a 15 year relationship. I get it.. sex is one of those things that people look at as though this comes with a monogamous relationship. There are more ways to be intimate besides sex. After the miscarriage she may have lost her sex drive or has become where my husband is at emotionally numb. That is a whole nother issue give her time talk to her but try to be supportive. It's going to take time

As a wife and mother and daughter who has lost a parent, I empathize with her. But I also empathize with you- you’ve reached out for help because you’ve been unable to make progress on your own and clearly you want to make progress with your wife, which is incredibly honorable! Sex is extremely important in a marriage and it’s also a form of communication. So when it’s turned off it can feel like all communication is turned off. Nothing good comes from lack of communication.

however, speaking from a personal perspective, if I was coping with everything you’ve mentioned and my husband came to me asking for more sex, I would tell him I am depleted. I have nothing more to give. Not because it’s him but because between my father, work, the kids, the trauma of miscarriage and trying to be a wife, I’m 100% drained. Most likely she’s struggling with depression and how is anyone’s libido while depressed?

what I would like to hear from my husband in that scenario is that he sees how much I’m dealing with. That he is here to support me in this muddy phase we’re in. That he won’t ask any more of me because he knows I have nothing more to give in this moment.

She’s probably beating herself up pretty bad about not giving you what you need on top of allowing so much of the burden to fall onto your shoulders too. You’re already carrying so much of the load and wouldn’t sex be a great reprieve! A way for you to feel recognized and appreciated. My guess is she does recognize and appreciate you but doesn’t have the strength at the moment to show it, especially with the mounting guilt. So if possible, put your wants on the side just for a little bit longer and instead muster up the courage to let her know that you see her. And I mean really see her and continue to see her as much as you can, as hard as it is for you too. Good things will come of it soon

I'm in the same boat. 3.5 years no sex and I am done with excuses