How do you cope with a passive aggressive spouse?
Frustrating I know. I don't understand why a relationship with a spouse has to be so hard sometimes. I generally get along with everyone that I meet. In fact I go out of my way just to get along with others as much as I can. But I'm just not understanding why she has to make life at home so hard and just learn to open up and be a loving spouse. It's not that hard is it?
@Spearman60
no it isn't or at least it should not be..........
with my spouse i think his issues is he is unhappy with himself and is just trying to spread his misery
As they say " misery loves company"
Sometimes I look over our situation and try to evaluate what I may be doing wrong. I know I'm not perfect. And I don't expect her to be. But she's such a passive aggressive introvert I just kind of get tired of it. I just would like to see her take the initiative once in awhile to change things. She buries herself in her work, house work, book reading and her phone. I mean marriage is supposed to be a two-way street. It's not left to the one spouse to try to maintain and keep it alive, we both have to work at it. She just doesn't take the initiative to do her part.
I've expressed this before in this forum but if I knew this whole road was ahead of me I would have made very different choices at the very beginning.
@Spearman60
you are not alone .... so many in the same boat..... i have read up on it and tried rewording things and tried good wife / bad wife method ......... i reread examples of this to assure myself this was not me projecting
I know when i was down and i have been in the past nothing he did reached me to make me snap out of it something else always did ..... i have given him space and nothing ........ i would have never ever married him if i saw this coming ever.....
I have the done "the do everything mode" to the " let everything go and pile up method " does not phase him ......I have decided ok well roommates no business pretending it is a marriage.
i stay busy and away do not include him in anything i am doing and barely interact........ i have tried talking usually devolves into argument wrote letters both email to him and really it seems to sink in for a moment but no follow through........
it is like a person addicted to unhappiness and nothingness..... I am personally angry as when we were younger he worked all the time i mean sometimes 80 hours a week and said things like we can retire early and travel and not be going to work til we are too old to do things .... well in his lief he has not taken care of himself now we cannot travel his knees hurt to fly or drive long distance his back does not like hotel mattresses insert any excuse to sit on a couch and watch 20 yr old sitcoms for the 30th time .....
i missed parties and trips and friends .......in his we are building for our golden years mode .............. now we have few friends never invited anywhere as we have always turned people down......i feel like i was ripped off of my TIME which is far more valuable then money ........
we do not have that much to show for it he is terrible at handling money i save quite a bit but if we separate i lose half .....
Wow... you are dealing with nearly the same thing I'm dealing with. I said indirectly I wouldn't have married her if I knew this was coming. But yet at the same time, it pains me to think that way because of the kids and grand kids we have. It's just that in the last few years it's really gotten worse way worse.
I mean we do own a camper and we do take it out occasionally with the exception of this year cuz of fuel prices was so high. But it's like just two friends going someplace seeing the sites, there's no romance or anything involved in the trip. And I admit there's times I just don't even want to go. She seems to enjoy most of it but it's almost like I'm her ticket to get there and that's it.
There's times I'd like to just take that camper and go someplace by myself enjoy a few days alone.
In the meantime I do busy myself with work and my hobbies to help keep my mind off things but still it's an inner struggle in my mind and my heart because I really, even as a man, need the love and passion from her that I just don't get. She takes absolutely no interest in any of my hobbies and the things that I do. Nothing I do really seems to impress her much. She's even passive about my accomplishments and things that I do for her with my Carpenter skills.
You can probably tell I've got a lot to unload since I do express a lot here. I guess it's kind of therapeutic for me!... I hope it is for you as well . . 😊
do you wish your spouse would snap out of it .... and be a partner ........or do you wish it was over?
I read somewhere that hate and love are parallels and indifference is the opposite of love..... i am indifferent now and worry that he may wake up from his being a jerk fog and what am i suppose to do then forgive and forget.......... i do not think i can now....
i do not want to grow older alone......... but in a situation like this ... i am alone.....
Honestly I don't know what I'd like to see happen. Part of me does want to see her snap out of it and part of me doesn't. I don't have much hope that she's ever going to change is the problem given our history together. Some people has such an embedded Behavior that it's difficult for them to even snap out of it and change even after all these years her being this way. Her family's passive as well. I don't know I was really attracted to her at the beginning loved her with all my heart but over the years things have just changed too much.
As far as being alone sometimes I just entertain the idea that I'd like to be alone. I guess I'm thinking in my mind it might be better but then I would be lonely in certain ways. But then I don't have to live in this uncomfortable atmosphere in this home and so being alone is somewhat appealing.
@toughTiger6481
I was wondering about what you said in being "indifferent." In feeling indifferent, what are you saying? I feel that's where I may be right now if I understand what that is. There's a great feeling of loss at this point in our marriage. It's nothing like it was at the beginning. And I'm not sure if it can be fully recovered. But then again, I'm not sure if what we had at the beginning had any real depth to it.
I don't know... I just feel I've been living in a fog for years now.
@Spearman60
Honestly i think when we are unhappy ....... When we look back and see bad ...
i know i did have good times at one point ... i loved him at one point I just cant pin point when that was. ......... maybe if i could go back i could see it ........but NOW looking back i only see how i feel now.... ignored and unappreciated treated as if I should be thankful he even gave me the time of day ... when in fact i am out of his league not the other way around he got lucky that does not happen twice....
but being indifferent is i just have no feelings for him....... not even really as a friend ... just the casual type feeling you might a co-worker or neighbor .....
I won't lie to myself and i think many many people say oh we loved each other so much but something happened .... love does die .........but maybe we just thought we were so in love ..... i wonder what my life would have been without him.
i knew it was over when i thought of my children .... people say "but i got these great kids i would not trade for anything" ....... i adore my kids but i would give that up to be free of him that is a defining moment when i realized there is no return
@toughTiger6481
I can certainly understand much of what you're going through. What do you do to try to cope with it all? I know how much it can be emotionally exhausting. I'm certainly feeling that day by day here. I try to cope with my situation by indulging myself with my hobbies that I have and my work somewhat. But there are days I just don't want to even leave the house and go to work. I'm self-employed so I have that luxury but I have financial obligations to meet like anyone else.
Right now I'm trying to concentrate on making myself emotionally healthy which is a challenge. Kind of why I looked for a forum like this that might help me to be able to talk about it anonymously with others. I just can't see myself talking to a local friend around here. I really don't have any friends I can feel safe with and confide in. But I feel like this forum is a safe place to at least talk about it with someone.
I look back over the years and I'll admit at the beginning it was good but even then it could have been better. I know I loved her at the beginning or I wouldn't have married her. But then I was young and maybe a little blind to certain things. I can remember a few things that should have given me a warning sign but for some reason I didn't see it then but I see it now. We are both first born. And they say that two first born who get married makes for a challenging marriage and I can certainly identify with that.
But for now I don't know what our future holds or what the next few years are going to bring. I guess we'll just wait and see what happens... maybe things will change. But after 40 plus years of this I don't see anything changing.
@Spearman60
It does help to talk in this type setting........ in real life i have a walking buddy who is in same spot but lies ..... ( her spouse has told the truth) ......that all is good and this is just the way marriage is.....kind of feel sorry she keeps up a tall tale
they other ladies i know are on #2 or 3 etc and say yeah with my first or second etc....
at this point it is very hard to walk away although many do the financial strain and such is hard.
i throw my self into walking and exercise sometimes yard work or projects ... i work but do not enjoy my job so i guess if i found a job i enjoy more that might help. ...........
It is bitter sweet that others and it seems many others have spoken to many ppl on other forums etc that like the same way ....... it is miserable and i look over as he puts on the same tv all the time and think "this is not my life" he was watching some show for the umpteenth time and was telling look at what they are doing told him exactly what was next and then they do this he just looks at me .....
I told him ... Yeah i am clairvoyant now ... or you have a serious case of dementia as we saw this 4 days ago...." this is not funny but sad ....
my fear is he will lose all mental functions and i will have to be his nurse ....with that being said he is SPOT ON at work they think he is a genius and i am wondering what time warp he drives through to get to work .... the person they get is NOT the same one i have at home.
@toughTiger6481
I kinda chuckled a bit when you mention you wondered what time warp he drove through when he went to work. My wife's a little different out in public and at work than she is at home. She works full-time in retail. And I understand being tired and worn out when you come home but what I don't appreciate is she takes it out on me. Seems her job gets the best of her I get what's left which isn't much. Oftentimes she walks in the door like she's mad at the whole world. I usually have to stay away from her before I even attempt to say anything to her cuz I don't get a very good response.
It's good that you have some friends to walk with and connect with. I wished I had a local friend here I could confide in and talk to about things but I just don't. I don't know that I can trust anyone around here and feel safe to share things with what I'm going through.
I keep waiting for my wife to snap out of it and maybe come to terms and say hey I want to change things. I just need to see her make the effort. I hope I'm not being unreasonable but given the history I have with her I just like to see her take the initiative for once. It could potentially really turn things around but it's been so long I just don't know. Like I said some people have such embedded behavioral patterns it is just too difficult for them to take the initiative to make changes.
But I never make any requests from her when she comes home cuz I don't feel I have a right to. I'm not a cook myself never have been. I've never been any good in the kitchen. So if she should ask what do I want for supper I tell her she don't have to do anything I'm okay with that. I can just go in the freezer and heat up a Marie Callender meal and I'm just fine! LOL!
I've always tried to take care of her in a general sense. In fact her dad not long ago gave me one of the greatest compliments I could ever have and that he told me thanks for taking care of my daughter. We're in our third house that I've built with my own hands. I've given her and provided for her the best that I can. It hasn't always been perfect but I've certainly done the best that I can. I don't mean to brag or pat myself on the back but she actually has it pretty good with me. It's just that so often she's made it difficult to just simply get along and be the loving wife that any man needs. She does well to take care of me in certain ways but I just don't get much love and passion from her at all.
@Spearman60
I can understand my spouse just asked how my day was tried to tell him he walked right by me went to the bathroom ...... no i will be right back or wait a second cause i can talk for hours he has already tuned out so why PRETEND to ask..... lucky for him i put the knife down .....
all he can do is talk about his work .... guess what I DO NOT care either. but i am not so rude to walk out on him. i work and take care of whole house and yard and he has a special diet so we cannot eat out or prepared foods but i do it every day ..... not a thank you or anything from him .....
you sound like a saint in comparison ..... yes i get the mad at the world thing i have bad days but do not ask if you do not want to know .
@Spearman60
i understand give the best you can to a job however the person you come home to is more important PERIOD ..... it is not ok to bend over backwards and then give your spouse the shaft has happened for years i used to call his boss and ask him to tell spouse the sink in the kitchen was leaking the boss thought was hilarious but spouse was why did you embarrass me .... cause you ignore me
@toughTiger6481
Your last couple posts there certainly shows that you still have a sense of humor and that's good!... 😊
I'll be the first to tell you I'm certainly no saint because I have my faults in all this too. There's been times in the past when I've tried to contribute to our relationship and build it up and make it better only to have her come home and shoot it all down with her negative and angry attitude and the negative atmosphere she brings in the house. I mean I understand that her job is no picnic but there's no reason to bring it home and take it out on me.
I certainly sympathize what you're going through I know it's not been easy for you. Like you I feel like I'm just stuck where I'm at as it is too complicated and probably be a greater hardship to make any changes.
@Spearman60
I did retail for 20 years left it and became a much better less angry person ... the frustration comes when you do the best job you can and many many in the job do just enough to not get fired ..... the people who put in effort get the shaft as they are asked for more and more you cannot make up for bad co-workers happens lots of places but retail is worst.
depending on your position in retail it can be taxing on body as well .... being a cashier for example repetitive motion etc. stocking is often lifting repeatedly and as we age it is hard on body ... i think Retail is a good job for almost everyone to experience for the people aspect but long term takes its toll my health improved after leaving that job and that was my DARK period when i was a bigger issue in marriage....
In the end though as we get older and perhaps retirement is in our sight ...... we should focus on our personal life more regardless of job ... sad to say ppl work hard plan to retire and by the time they do their spouse is a stranger or worse gone and you poured work into that for what to sit alone in your older years looking for friends or anyone to help make the days better
@toughTiger6481
My wife's been in retail for over 30 years and it's taking its toll on her in ways that you described for yourself. She's a hard worker and puts a lot of energy into it and gets no reward for it. I've seen it where it's changed her over the years and it's been hard on our marriage as a result cuz her attitude is changed she's more bitter and angry all the time. I try to be the loving husband in the past as much as I can but her bitterness and anger and frustration is so deeply rooted it just doesn't seem to make much of a difference. Like I said I get tired her taking it out on me and it's not fair. I've even told her if you want to quit then we'll make Financial adjustments downgrade everything and live a simpler life if you want. I gave her a way out cuz I don't want her to feel that she's chained to that life. We can get by with less than what we have if it means will have a happier marriage.
@Spearman60
I dated someone who was nice on the outside but passive aggressive on the inside and only really let that side out with me. Its really really tough and I wish I could give solutions on how to make it better, but I honestly don't know because I found that even when you try to have the serious conversations the other person can easily deny their behavoir. I'm sorry you're dealing with this though..its tough
@teaLion9329
You got that right... when I try to have a conversation with her about it she does deny her behavior. That's why I don't even bother most the time to even bring it up or say anything. I just don't understand her behavior in this and why she don't make the effort to make things better
@Spearman60
I am passive aggressive by nature and now after reading your post i'm scared that i may be ruining my marriage as well.
But, i have a lot to deal with like new marriage, living with and enduring in-laws comments, hosting relatives frequently visiting, lack of privacy, lacy of romance, etc. I have even opted for weekly counselling coz i know i may be losing my mind because of all this.
Women, i feel have a lot to deal with after marriage. Not that i am justifying any of this but marriage does take a toll on a lot of woman. It changes our lives. Some simply accept it, some lives in denial and resist the change.
I'm really sorry to hear how you feel and where your relationship with your spouse has reached. I shouldn't have been that way. Please try to be vocal about your thoughts even if she can't do the same.
I hope your spouse realises and makes best effort to change the negativity surrounding the marriage from her side.
Also, i wish you patience and all the strength to overcome this difficult situation.
@hardworkingKite6195
Thanks for the encouragement. Admitting passive aggressive hehavior... you're one step way ahead of my wife. She won't even admit it or come to terms with it in any way. If I bring anything up she just denies everything and makes it think that I'm the one with the problem. She's got a little self righteous pride in her that just won't allow her to open up and admit things that she's guilty of. No I'm not saying I'm perfect because I'm not. I'm just at a point where I for the most part given up on trying anymore cuz I can't deal with someone like this. I struggle with people who don't own up to what they're guilty of.
My ex was extremely similar, and I tried a lot of the same things . I am who I am so blame also lies on me, I will take all of it because I was too stubborn to just admit it was over shortly after it started. And a lot of years of two young lives were deeply affected by this situation. The children would have been better off if I would’ve just ended the relationship when I knew it was over.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Well I always thought years ago that when the kids are gone it's over. But here we are years later six grandkids now and we're still together. It hasn't been 100% bad. There are times it's okay but I'll have to admit there's no sparks flying anywhere. And now I wonder how much longer this will last or how much more I'm going to take of this I just don't know.
And now this morning I wake up and I just have no ambition to go to work. She's gone to work, got the house to myself with my dog and I just feel like staying home and do nothing. But I've got to go make some money pay the bills and keep plugging along. I just wished there was more to this married life than what I'm experiencing right now. I just don't know what I can do anymore to try to change it cuz it's just more the same with someone that doesn't seem to want to contribute to make it better.
@Spearman60
the bad feelings of being unhappy makes me want to do that to say no thanks and not go in......
i really do understand where you are and am serious there are far more like us out there not that helps our issues. the job thing could be your issue have you encouraged her to try something else?
the skills related to retail are very in demand for example i am thriving dealing with staff issues since basically it is customer service..... you learn to be flexible and see solutions others miss from being in retail......also you have a sense of urgency to finish and these to transfer to many other jobs it may be internal customer service but that in a nut shell is what it is.. maybe have her scroll a job app like indeed she what she really has to offer and that there are other places she COULD Be
with that many years in she may not see anything but finishing her career there but there are ways to make that better .... your offer of downgrading perhaps will lighten her stress etc.....
@toughTiger6481
I somehow miss this post here of yours I didn't see it. Sometimes this forum is a little confusing to get around in and to stay caught up with others.
Imagine there are a lot of people like us dealing with what we're dealing with. She's hoping to retire in about 3 to 4 years and I don't know we'll see where we're at. I don't know things will change or not. He's so deeply rooted financially with this company that it would make sense to cut it short at this point. Plus with the benefits she has it's best just to leave it alone and ride it out I guess.
Well I hope you're doing okay. I managed to get through the day okay I didn't feel like leaving the house this morning but I forced myself. I guess all I need to do is look at my bank account and realize the bills I need to pay and suddenly I get a little inspiration to go... 😊
Everyday I seem to deal with a level of depression some days are worse than others some days I'm okay. Right now I'm in a low and just not dealing with things very well due to the things that I've shared with you in this forum.
I didn't mean to say "he's so deeply rooted" I meant "she's so deeply rooted"... voice text messed that up... 😊
@Spearman60
hopefully chatting with people here helps like a stream vent on a water heater........😂
i figured at that point she might be to deep rooted and not want to change ... sad thing is when she does retire and the stress is gone she will be happy and wonder why you are not on board.... that a switch does not change the year she spent miserable and bringing that home to you.
@toughTiger6481
Well when she has several days off like a week or two she's better but it still isn't what it ought to be. She's disconnected from work pretty much and she's a little more relaxed but she's still passive towards me. It might take some time before she changes after she retires if she does I don't know.
I got to thinking that someone could accuse me of being a bit passive aggressive towards her. But being I'm the one that seems to always be doing the most contributing I just got to the point where I just don't want to anymore I'm tired of doing it all. Like I said marriage is a two-way street when one is doing all the giving eventually the bucket goes dry.
And yes coming here has helped me quite a bit like you said it's like a relief valve on a water heater. Touching base with others who are going through the same thing, it's nice to know that others out there understand what you're going through cuz they're going through it. I do carpenter work for someone who is a therapist but I just can't talk face to face with anyone about this I'm just not comfortable with that plus I just can't trust them to keep confidentiality.
And you're more than welcome to share your situation with me as much as you want. I'm willing to listen!... 😊
@Spearman60
It takes awhile for that retail rage fade... i call it that because the frustration is real....... as it does stay ... as i go into stores these days i see so many things they COULD and should do all from being able to spot it from years in retail it frustrates me i have even been found to straighten items and pull forward it is second nature.....
Retail is not a great job but i always gave my best and those who do not even try tend to tick me off i really can see the difference and have stated so to managers as i will compliment good workers.
@toughTiger6481
Also I wanted to ask do you use the phone app for this form or you find it easier on a computer? It's hard to maneuver around on this phone app and I tried it once on the computer and it looks easier but I didn't know what your preference was what you like to use.
@Spearman60
i have a chrome combo laptop tablet i do not have much luck on a phone looks like i cannot spell at all ... this is not perfect i get going and should edit but miss some typos here too.
so I am not sure what his issue is he is trying very very hard right now usually does for the holidays but i told him about my day and he does not respond .... he gives zero feedback and i know when he used to i would explain how his method does not work so maybe he gave up but a simple i hear you or something i stopped telling him something and he talked about the bread he just bought ..... very frustrating but when i vent to my kids or something and he is left out he is mad ... try to include him but WHY if he can not even listen or be supportive.
i get what you were saying where someone could tell me i am no angel too but i found my responses and passive aggressive have showed up long after his as a coping action ... i see it is counterproductive but I cannot see to help myself giving him a taste of his own medicine.
@toughTiger6481
Well I can't believe how similar our situations are. Like tonight with her I guess I'm being somewhat passive aggressive too but under the same reasons you shared with me. Seems like it's okay for her to act that way but it's not for me. Like I said it's all about waiting for me to take the initiative, waiting for me to fix things, waiting for me to spread the love in the relationship. I can't get her to understand it don't work that way. It's a two-way street. I don't know, after so many years of this I'm just tired of it.
You know whenever I'm on *** and I see where other couples are sharing their anniversary celebration and how much they love and appreciate their spouse, I have to say I am somewhat jealous of that. I want that too. I want to be able to say that too but sadly I'm not there. I mean I'm happy for them, glad they're enjoying each other, but I just wished I had that. I know she can see that she's losing me, but I don't think she cares enough to do anything about it.
Like I said I have days where I can cope with this a lot easier than others. But the last couple days have been kind of hard. Haven't slept well I think as a result. At the risk of sounding all sappy and all I'm just really heartbroken right now. I just wish things could change.
It goes to show you that you are NOT alone many of us are like that ....
She is not worried because she thinks you will NOT leave ......... Mine did not either I left for 2 weeks Living at our sons house and Hubby lost his mind did not know how to do things around house and was hungry told him "not my circus not my monkeys " He knows i can and will leave but it has not got him any farther then pretending he gives a hoot.....
I know what you mean about seeing other couples at places but we do not know if they are on stage either. or that behind the scenes they have similar issues.... neighbors are so cute was sort of jealous but found out that they have only been together 6 years and it was a second marriage for both,,,,,,,,
@Spearman60 hi. I’m in a new marriage and I want more tips on how to act like a married couple. I’m myself a passive aggressive person and I want to improve myself so can you please share what you expect from your wife and what kind of things she does that bug you?
@spectacularCandy789
Well, for one thing, always be honest and upfront with him about how you feel. Passive aggressive behavior can be just as damaging as screaming your head off at him and tearing him down verbally. Men need affirmation and appreciation. They also need support from their wives.
There's a book I would encourage you to get and read as written by Dr Laura Schlessinger. The title of the book is "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands." I think every married woman needs to read that book. Because women don't understand the power and encouragement they can give to their husbands and what benefits they'll reap from that for themselves.
How to act like a married couple is really different from one husband and wife to another. The best thing that you can do is simply just love each other and give each other the attention that is needed. Don't let your passive aggressive nature get in the way. Because if he's anything like me it will discourage him and bring a lot of irritation in his life. Just be open to each other be honest with each other and encourage each other.
I'm willing to share more with you if you have any more questions or anything. Thanks for asking! 😊
@Spearman60
see chatting about it has brought you the great opportunity to help others........ maybe i should read that book too....
@toughTiger6481
Its not meant to be a one sided book to make women servile to men. Dr. Laura points out the role of women in the marriage. I want to get that book for my wife, but her self righteous pride won't let me present the idea to her.
I think Dr. Laura points out that the ideas and concepts she points out may not work well if a woman is married to a jerk. Men have a role in this as well. 😊
I think you as well as I have much to offer to others even though we have our own personal struggles. We can even help each other to some degree... 😊
@Spearman60
i think any other point of view is worth a look i never know when at some point some item is going to just be my ah-ha moment and i can see issues more clearly then
@toughTiger6481
Yes and I'm open to that myself because I admit I'm not a perfect person I've got faults and flaws that maybe I just don't even see.
Last couple days I've just been dealing with depression and feeling down and out. I have days like that now and then. I see days going by so fast weekends are up in 8 hours so it seems. I miss my younger days when life didn't go by so fast. This marriage I'm in is just really unfulfilling in so many ways and it's shocking I've dealt with it for nearly four decades. I really wish things could change.
And I know you wish things could change for you as well because you're going through similar things that I am. I don't know if you deal with depression a lot you might be tougher than me. But I just have days I don't deal with it very well and the last couple days have been that way. No I'm not suicidal I'm just really feeling unfulfilled in our marriage and it's really getting to me at times. Yes I have my hobbies and all but it's just not enough most days.
I hope you're doing okay. I have to admit to you I didn't actually read that book that I suggested, however I listen to Dr Laura Schlessinger on a radio program a while back and she talked about all the points in that book and I wanted to get it for my wife one time but I got a negative response from her so I never did get it for her. She's one that doesn't like to be corrected or have suggestions made to her like that. She just throws up a wall and doesn't want to receive any suggestions like that even if I do it gently.
I guess maybe I should just buy that book and read it for myself maybe I can bring up some of the ideas with her I don't know... 😊
my spouse is exact same way he thinks he knows all and does not want suggestions ...... i too suffer with depression especialluy if he has ticked me off or done something incredibly stupid....
i work out seriously walk or run as fast as i can and yell if i am in section of trail with no one..... eat something bad for me candy/ cake ect and chat with my friend...... i too think this is so unfullfilling it is very discouraging lately..... winter makes it worse not as nice out to take off on foot and as we have tandem parking he has me blocked in most days.
@toughTiger6481
Think I've already mentioned before that her and I are both first born and in most cases I wouldn't recommend to first born getting married. But I say that because of my situation I'm sure sometimes it works out. It's probably more about personality than birthrank. She gets a lot of her personality traits from her mom and dad as most of us do. Her dad is pretty stubborn and set in his ways and can't be told anything sometimes.
Last night though before she went to bed there was some tiny bit of Hope. She actually sense there was something wrong. She actually reached out and hugged me. It's not her nature to reach out to anybody in need. She does not have the gift of encouragement and to see the need to help someone out. I'm the social butterfly in our family she is not. In fact some people find her hard to get to know. That's due to her introverted passive aggressive personality. Gosh I wish things could change and that this marriage would be better but in the last couple years I've just lost hope.
I'll have to admit I'm a little nervous about being so expressive on here when everybody in this form can read all this but maybe it'll help somebody else and what I'm going through and what you're going through. Like I said before it does help me though to have a place to express all this.
@toughTiger6481
Think I've already mentioned before that her and I are both first born and in most cases I wouldn't recommend to first born getting married. But I say that because of my situation I'm sure sometimes it works out. It's probably more about personality than birthrank. She gets a lot of her personality traits from her mom and dad as most of us do. Her dad is pretty stubborn and set in his ways and can't be told anything sometimes.
Last night though before she went to bed there was some tiny bit of Hope. She actually sense there was something wrong. She actually reached out and hugged me. It's not her nature to reach out to anybody in need. She does not have the gift of encouragement and to see the need to help someone out. I'm the social butterfly in our family she is not. In fact some people find her hard to get to know. That's due to her introverted passive aggressive personality. Gosh I wish things could change and that this marriage would be better but in the last couple years I've just lost hope.
I'll have to admit I'm a little nervous about being so expressive on here when everybody in this form can read all this but maybe it'll help somebody else and what I'm going through and what you're going through. Like I said before it does help me though to have a place to express all this.
@toughTiger6481
Think I've already mentioned before that her and I are both first born and in most cases I wouldn't recommend to first born getting married. But I say that because of my situation I'm sure sometimes it works out. It's probably more about personality than birthrank. She gets a lot of her personality traits from her mom and dad as most of us do. Her dad is pretty stubborn and set in his ways and can't be told anything sometimes.
Last night though before she went to bed there was some tiny bit of Hope. She actually sense there was something wrong. She actually reached out and hugged me. It's not her nature to reach out to anybody in need. She does not have the gift of encouragement and to see the need to help someone out. I'm the social butterfly in our family she is not. In fact some people find her hard to get to know. That's due to her introverted passive aggressive personality. Gosh I wish things could change and that this marriage would be better but in the last couple years I've just lost hope.
I'll have to admit I'm a little nervous about being so expressive on here when everybody in this form can read all this but maybe it'll help somebody else and what I'm going through and what you're going through. Like I said before it does help me though to have a place to express all this.
@Spearman60
thinks it is things changing with site as I used to see all my past posts and such but now they are gone to search.... i used to like how they were set up but was thinking the changes would improve site...
well it is a good thing even if if it was just a hug a reach out is better then not..... i hope you feel good about sharing it is anonymous but helping others that see their relationship in your story
@Spearman60
thinks it is things changing with site as I used to see all my past posts and such but now they are gone to search.... i used to like how they were set up but was thinking the changes would improve site...
well it is a good thing even if if it was just a hug a reach out is better then not..... i hope you feel good about sharing it is anonymous but helping others that see their relationship in your story
@toughTiger6481
Wow it seems this app is really messing up making it hard to post and find things still.
Anyway I just checking in to see how you're doing hope you're doing okay! 😊
@Spearman60
all things considered doing ok trying to be more positive and let things he does not even come on my radar
@toughTiger6481
I'm doing the same. Trying not to let her get to me and focus more on work and positive things.
I feel I understand more and more the battle you face since our situations are much alike. Wished things could be different and better for the both of our situations.
@toughTiger6481
Sorry it posted that last post 3 times. I was on my smart phone and it showed an error in sending and I tried a couple more times. I got on the computer and realized they it shows 3 times posted. I don't know how to delete them once they're posted... :-)
