50+ community Check-in May 31 - June 4, 2021
Happy Monday everyone 
Positive self-talk
What are 2 positive things you can tell yourself for each of the following situations?
💙 Something went wrong and you feel like a failure
💙 You have been rejected by someone
💙 You don’t have control of a situation
Please come back and share with us 
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1. If something goes wrong I draw lessons from it for next time. 2ndly I introspect and start afresh. 2. Earlier it used to hurt me a lot but now it pricks me for a bit and I don't bleed incessantly. I accept our energies weren't meant to merge. 3. I just move back and not get into the power game. I Repose in the Self. We can act only to an extent and not beyond a point.
@RideaRainbow
Wow, you seem to have come far in dealing with challenges in your life. Nice that you're not taking rejection personally and you're quite right about not getting into power games, the only thing they create are more pressure.
Yes now i can chalk alot of things up to people pleasing, me getting resentments, then me blowing up.or self harm like drinking too much. i don't do that anymore! 
@amiablePeace77
Positive self-talk
What are 2 positive things you can tell yourself for each of the following situations?
💙 Something went wrong and you feel like a failure 1) I am not a failure as a person ever. I just did not succeed at this (whatever) this time. I will think about it and come up with a better way to succeed at it soon, or next time. 2) I am still not a failure as a person, ever. I have now learned not to do (whatever) this way and will, hopefully learn from this and not do this again this way.
💙 You have been rejected by someone 1) I am okay as a person. If they choose to reject me, that is their choice. I do not have to, "take on," their feelings as my own feelings. 2) Oh well, it is okay that they do not like or want anything to do with me. I am not going to let that bother me. I am still going to go on, be happy, be good to them, and stay in a good mood. They are most likely rejecting me either because they truly do not fully understand or because they are uncapable of understaning me, or what I am going through, and that is alright.
💙 You don’t have control of a situation 1) This is right. This is something I can NOT do anything about; so, I need to not think so much about it, let it go, and move on with my thoughts and what I am doing. 2) This will be okay! It will be what it will be, as it is out of my hands. God is in total control over everything and it will be what it will be.
@Amelia2324 Thank you for sharing your thoughts and things you say to yourself. It is not easy to accept when things do not go as we have planned . I am glad you are practising this. I too do a lot of self positive talk. It helps a lot:
@Amelia2324
I love your positivity and yes to "we are never a failure", we might just have to do things differently.
Hey, I feel so stressed. I am nervous with everyone and want to fire one of my research partners because he is taking advantage of my effort and never working, and he gets the praise of our university professors while I get nothing but stress, exhausting effort, and a constant sense of failure. I decided to take a break by reading the four parts of Elena Ferrante's novel "My Amazing Girlfriend". When I started reading Part Two, "The Tale of a New Name," I couldn't stand the amount of anger that filled me as I moved through its pages. I trusted the heroine who tells the story by imagining myself in her place, but she continues to submit to her evil friend who is jealous of her because she did not complete her education, while the heroine who narrates continues her education and does not stop reading, but does not become a housewife and submits to a rich and fat husband like her evil friend. This evil friend steals the childhood love of the heroine who narrates the novel and betrays her husband with him. Indeed, the heroine cannot help but love the evil friend and the love of her childhood, although the love of her childhood exploits her to reach her evil friend. The heroine also because of that, she hurt herself because she lost her virginity with the father of her childhood love who did not hesitate to betray his wife. I am tired psychologically and do not know whether to continue the novel until I get to the fourth part, or to stop causing myself to disappointment. Do I expel my partner in the study or cancel the registration of the subject I am with him in spite of my research efforts, or do I ignore it? I don't know anything anymore and I'm so depressed.
@DinaElwy
Hugs DinaElwy, I'm very sorry that you feel so down right now, depression is never easy.
It seems that you got lost in this book and absorbed what happened like a sponge what could leave you emotionally drained. Sometimes that can make it hard to differentiate between reality and the story you read particularly when "it hits home" in some way. How about reading something "lighter", more uplifting and continue with that book another time?
@amiablePeace77 so what have I do
@amiablePeace77 i was recently reading the nightingale, and had to stop. i was getting triggered by all the loss and war and starvation. maybe another time. some of us are too sensitive for that stuff. thx for your service
@islandgypsy
Knowing your triggers is important. Watching those kind of movies or videos makes me deeply sad so I rather watch something different, more neutral.
💙 Something went wrong and you feel like a failure -"but you did the best you can"
💙 You have been rejected by someone "it is a shame they did not want to get to know you better"
💙 You don’t have control of a situation "Whatever will be will be ... c'est sera sera."
@amiablePeace77
@soulsings
Those are truly helpful things to tell yourself! I find telling yourself "You did the best you can" give peace.
💙 Something went wrong and you feel like a failure
It really depends on what went wrong. I talk to myself to identify 1. what is troubling me about what went wrong and b. why I feel like a failure, and c. what I can do to feel better about it, and d. what to do to avoid feeling like a failure in that situation in the future.
💙 You have been rejected by someone
a. that is just the way it is
b. I can’t control other people
💙 You don’t have control of a situation
a. I have to let go.
b. pray for understanding of the situation so I can understand how to navigate it.
@purpleTree4652 wow I think you hit the nail on the head with those answers. Thanks for sharing.
When something goes wrong and I feel like a afilure, I remind myself that there are always lessons to be learned that can help me grow even in failure
@junem I always remember this saying
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations."
Charles Swindell.
When something goes wrong: you just need to put it into perspective and chalk it up to ‘life’s lessons’❤️ if someone rejects you: I believe people come in and out of our lives for many reasons, all for a lesson, good or bad, carry on 🙏 if you don’t feel like you have control, talk to someone close to your heart or do something to calm yourself, go for a walk in nature, meditation, get a 🤗 hug. Enjoy your life
@placidPlum3193
What you said sounds very supportive! I like your statement about people come into our lives for many reasons but all for a lesson to teach us.
