50+ community Weekend Check-in October 9-11, 2020
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What gets under your skin and how do you deal with these negative feelings?
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@amiablePeace77, What gets under my skin is people taking me for granted. I don't usually handle it well. If I'm not asked how it affects me, I usually internalize the bad feelings and tell the person it's ok. If I'm asked how something affects me, I'll let the other person know, as calmly as possible. If we can come to some understanding of how best to move forward for both of us, then we do.
@purpleTree4652
I believe to talk about it and to try to find common ground is very helpful, bottling up hard feelings can be very painful.
@amiablePeace77
What gets under your skin?
Anytime I let something get under my skin that I shouldn't and then I notice that it's pure stupidity to get worked up for the wrong reason. Recognizing my knee-jerk reaction stupidity is what gets under my skin!
How do you deal with these negative feelings?
I think to myself "Why am I knee-jerk-reacting in this ridiculous way like a robot? Stop it!" and then I remind myself "It's probably just a bad habit I need to overcome". So then I forgive myself but tell myself "Don't do it again. Instead just observe it and not knee-jerk react stupidly like a robot".
@7motivation
I like that you forgive yourself and also be your own coach!
What gets under your skin and how do you deal with these negative feelings?
I try to wear a rain coat so not a lot gets under my skin.
@amiablePeace77
@soulsings
Letting everything slide off and not getting under your skin makes sense, makes life also so much easier. Nice soul!
What gets under your skin and how do you deal with these negative feelings?
There are so many thing. The main thing is my loneliness. I've been lonely my entire life, except for a few brief episodes when I had some one to hang out with. They're all gone now. I have no way to deal with my painful feelings but to suppress them.
@WharfRat, I wish we could hang out.
@WharfRat
Your words very well could have been mine WharfRat. I guess I'm not alone but I have no clue where "my people" might be and I'm quite sure that they don't know of me either. It makes me sad that these few words are the best connection I can hope for but it's a connection that I didn't have 10 minutes ago so I'm grateful that you posted. Good luck to us all.
@WharfRat
It must so hard feeling there is noone to connect with, hugs. I am glad you came today to connect with us and hope to see you much more in the discussions and chats. Have you tried to participate in events like trivias on the site, that can be a lot of fun?
@amiablePeace77 I'm not familiar with that, no, I haven't done trivia here. How does it work?
@WharfRat I feel
your pain. I am
in the same
boat
I guess that other people's unawareness or lack of consideation peeves me the most. How peoole don't bother to use their car turn signal to let me and others, know of their intention to turn. How when there are two lanes on a freeway entrance, but one lane ends, merging with the other (Right lane ends, merge left), inevitably someone who thinks themselves very important, will trurn into the right hand lane and attempt to run me into the sidewall so that they can cut in front of me rather than safely merging behind. Everyone seems to want to be first and they seem willin to do whatever it takes to make sure that they are never behind. Oftentimes too, in stires and restaurants, the salespeople or cashiers, attendants, servers, etc. seem to act as if I'm an interruption to their day buy bothering them to sell me their wares or to take my money, answer a question, any of that. It feels as if my life season is Autumn but there were no pretty colorful leaves to see. The trees are all barren, long before it's time.
How do I deal with it? I sleep. It's like I imagine death might be but when I'm asleep, I have no worries, no cares and no bothersome people to spoil my day. Not the best way or even necessarily a good way to deal with it but it works, even if only a few hours at a time.
@forko23
I hear you, it's awful feeling like a burden as a customer and yeah, not using signals can put everyone's life at risk in the worst case scenario.Sometimes people just think about themselves and not how their action impacts others, I guess some of them are also too frustrated, particularly in these tough times.
I hope you will find more ways to destress from the daily "turbolences", do you have any hobbies?
HOw do I deal with situations/people that get under my skin?
Often I will confront the person- depends on the event. THis doesn't always go well- and can disrupt relationships. IT ends up making me ruminate- losing sleep- and wondering if being silent is a better answer.
@ScoreKing it is not easy dealing with difficult situations. I find not reacting works better for me than reacting. Taking a deep breath and patiently observing what happens is a rest for me from conflict.
@soulsings- thank you for the gentle reminder to take a deep breath and observe situations calmly. Being non- reactive may be one of my life lessons. thank you.
@ScoreKing glad it was a welcome suggestion. It is something we all need to work on in our own way.
Mistreatment of others.
@Goldcherry2113
Being badly treated is not nice at all, I get you. Sometimes I ask myself what happened on that day the person treated my like that, hmm.
@amiablePeace77 Doctors that say leave a message but don't leave more than one or we won't get back with you. I don't handle it very well.
@mutter3 I have not heard that We have online message system in the medical system I belong to .
Judgemental people gets on my nerves . What do I do ? Cut them out from my life.
@Neeme2020
You have the right to chose the people you mix with. It's much nicer to have people around you who are more tolerant and open.
