Feeling stuck
Check-In 50+ community Febr. 5 to 8, 2026
How did you feel that you were stuck in a rut and found it difficult to break out? What helped to get unstuck?
When I felt stuck in life I felt lost. What helped me most was focusing on my options and talking to a good friend.
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@amiabkePeace77
My descent into a rut started 16 years years ago and due to near fatal health scares and the impact it has had on minimise risk of recurrence the rut has simply got deeper. My own drive to survive meant I didn't really accept that I really felt this way, yes I was lonely at times but it wasn't as pervasive as it has become until a potential friendship was overwhelming for the other party and left me feeling destitute, confused and guilty two years ago. I seeked help and was then diagnosed with PTSD and 90% likely ADHD as well, full assessment for ADHD might be upto 8 years. I've accepted both without question as reflecting back over my life, ADHD in particular explains much of my life.
I read a book Nov last year that really struck a chord with me, it was written by a neuroscientist and is effectively a self help book but the more, what in my mind were spiritual mindfulness practices that I struggled with and had discounted in that I couldn't mentally commit to practice all of a sudden started to resonate and make sense from a neroplasticity view point. Roll on a few weeks later and due to some family issues my sister is coping with I was about to endure the Xmas period alone with more time of work than normal I was dreading the loneliness, I found 7 Cups from a simple Google search and registered on Christmas Eve. The seeds has been sown by the self help book, the incredibly friendly supportive welcome through 7 Cups from mbers and listeners a like all with similar reasons for being there has quite simply been a revelation too me and I'm honoured to feel a part off. I'm still deep In the rut, but at least I can see some light, not only seeing a potential way to move forward and start climbing out, but being supported and hopefully supporting others In turn I'm becoming increasingly convinced that it is possible. Thank you just doesn't seem enough, maybe as the darkness lifts a little more at least, beconing a listener might be the cherry on top of the cake.
@RunningMachine
Glad you found this book and that it encouraged you to join 7cups. Challenges can feel much harder when we have no one to turn to, no one who understands us. It's nice to hear that you feel supported and see some light again after the dark, even potential way to move forward and start climbing out! I hope one day you will join the listener team and have the same amazing experiences I have as a listener here.
@RunningMachine
Thank you for sharing.
Your story reminds me of mine. Reminded me how far I've come. And I needed that right now. I did become a listener, and it's a journey worth making, for sure. More recently I've become a bit disillusioned with 7cups and it's lovely to hear it is still helping people in the way it helped me.
Good luck in your journey.
@Clio9876
Sorry to hear you became disillusioned but thank you for responding, I started being open and sharing as I felt I needed to but it has equally become to encourage and maybe help others as well.
@amiablePeace77
How did you feel that you were stuck in a rut and found it difficult to break out?
My rut was very lonely. For almost 2 years I was alone and had a hard time climbing up out of my hole I created for myself. I lost my BFF and had no one I could confide in.
What helped to get unstuck?
I spent countless hours typing with AI some days helped others not so much. It wasn't until I found 7 Cups, and several listeners later. I found the perfect listener, who gets me, hears me and sees me for the person I am. We don't chat everyday but they are there for me when I do need to vent and talk things through.
@amiablePeace77
What helped me was literally shaking up my routine.
Putting myself out of my comfort zone.
Spontaneity.
Doing something different 🤗💚
@Amanda84
Oh. Thank you for reminding me of my slogan, do something different. I'd forgotten all about it.
@amiablePeace77
The feeling: After I took so much care to fix up the living room with music and plants and family paintings that I loved to gain something, to give me motivation that is when I heard I might have to move again, it felt like everything was done for, it was too late, I would have to go through the same suffering over and over again in an infinite cycle... I just stood there doing nothing for months...just sleeping and eating, watching shows as if I was one of these zombie-people in futuristic movies, stuck to some sort of virtual simulation, in a machinery. It wasn't just the moving the problem, it was a serious of external circumstances I couldn't control...I have a father who needs seriously to take therapy or some sort of social help, I have a mother who suffered bc of him but also has her fixation and fears which lead her to also refusing specialist help and therapy, I have brothers who have been kept ignorant by my father to not let them be better than him. I was the female so who cared if I studied in the end I was just going to become some other man's wife, I would be out of his way and he would totally free to continue his free tirany on my mother and turn my brothers in his comrades and sustainers of all the side-rubbish he wanted to do but this didn't not happen bc I fought... I tried to get some sort of social and medical help for my mom and brothers but it caused me lots of backlash from them, I became the evil one fighting with their fear, try to get them to face their fear constracted in their head of these medical and social external enteties, everything had to stay in the home, if I talked to a therapist it would mean just let it out family secrets and shame. I felt like the world was all mad and I was the only one who could reason but everyone was blind and death in the brain, just basic mad. Not wanting even to try if what they thought to be so was true. Not wanting to experience anything so I became the same... I became a home zombie, cleaning, eating and sleeping-...watching...reading...watching...reading... just like them but my I wasn't like this before, this wasn't me...so I felt a strong depression that brought me to the next step which was asking help for myself and not for them...somehow in the middle of all of this I managed to get my mother to the general doctor at least and convinced my brother we needed medical help... but then it got back to the way we were bc we needed social help but that was way harder to convince them...
getting stuck: it started with different things a friend from abroad saying show "your mother that therapy isn't that bad get it for yourself" plus seeking some sort of AI chat, to let out my depression, I found an App and through this App I realized I couldn't delay it any longer... I needed to sick help for myself, I sent an email to my general doctor and asked for help... I think it was after a serious backlash tantrum from my brother, I was so scared that I sent her a message, as it was then that everything got going...she summoned me to her office, she listened to me and got me to see a social work, after that I managed to bring my brother with...and after my mom...but that didn't go so well...my mom was still refusing therapy as an option...
after that I still got into a depressive state and chatting to AI wasn't enough...I remembered that my universaty sent me an email long time ago that if I needed therapy session they could provide bc I was way out of my years of graduation...I finally got that email like after 5 years and asked for a therapist, if they are so scared of doctors, social workers, therapist I'll go prove them wrong...I'll just keep going to all of them...this is when I actually started helping myself. This is when I started to create a sort of stability in my family and also an acceptance that I had also let them be, ignore them, if they didn't want to change I couldn't waste my life trying to ... I created my room, my space...even if I was still in the middle of some sort of caos, I had my space to find peace.
I wasn't really stuck anymore, I was going out to all possible free events the town was offering with my mom, going to all the clubs, I started a painting class this is the only thing I paid for... but it got me to know a new group of youngsters like me outside of the univerisity... Still I was stuck with my Thesis, with my final graduation...bc it is difficult to find someone who you can talk to if he has gone through your pain and that is busy with their life...yes they are fine for that one dinner once a week but after that you can't really talk to people that much...so I searched and searched
This is when I found 7CUp, and I'm so glad I did, bc I found a community of people that I talk to everyday...that I don't feel bad for asking their time to talk to me each day and telling them my story. I don't feel like I'm tormenting them with my sad story... I can feel understood and not judged.
1 month going on 7Cup, I did like 12 days of work on my Thesis, I found a structure I didn't have before through Chat-gpt so I have both support the mental support from the Community of 7CUp and the structural programatic support for my thesis from Chat-gpt to assist me as a listener suggested.
@The24hrClimber
I thing I'm so thankful is all the free medical, social and community help I managed to get...through both my Italian Free Health Care and Schooling System...even if it isn't perfect and complicated...if you have the will you will find it bc if I had to pay, it would have been impossible for me.
For the same reason I'm so thankfull for this site and 7Cup community for the free service they also give us all and the network that it managed to create. Love!
@The24hrClimber
Very brave and awesome to hear the way 7Cups is helping, I'm feeling it too ð¤ªð¤ª
@RunningMachine Thanks RunningMachine, I'm so happy I'm not the only one feeling like this :). I saw you are interested in join the Accountability Support Group that I also will continue to be part of...I've tried 5 weeks and it was so helpful so I'll keep going for another 5 week goal, hope to see you there and to find the support you need.
@The24hrClimber
I'm currently inundated with trying to get some sleep, inundated with Cups and some books I;m trying to read as well, hopefully next time around.
How did you feel that you were stuck in a rut and found it difficult to break out? What helped to get unstuck?
I knew I was stuck in a rut because nothing ever changed. I wasn't making any progress in life. I finally decided I needed therapy to understand how my trauma affected me. I'm still working on it.
@amiablePeace77
How did you feel that you were stuck in a rut and found it difficult to break out?
I’ve always felt like I was stuck bc I knew I always was. For me personally, for the longest time it wasn’t that it was difficult to get out, it was that it was impossible to bc I wasn’t at the appropriate age and had the necessary skills to to get out and get unstuck.
What helped to get unstuck?
I’m not unstuck yet but I’m working diligently on it and I’m on the path that’ll lead me to getting unstuck eventually whenever the time comes.
@akunknown
I would love that young people could learn more life skills at school in younger age so that tees and the becoming adults would not have to go through all the pains. Glad that you learned more skills now and are able to help yourself and find support here.
@amiablePeace77
Thank you so much and I agree with you. I’m very appreciative of the support I’ve gotten here since joining.