Bad things and good people
Not sure if this is the right sub forum for this but I'm just thinking out loud here. I guess it falls under the discussion portion of the forum, maybe. Feel free to just read and reflect or add some more food for thought. It is something that has been on my mind a while so I'm just putting it out there. This post is not necessarily about me, mostly people in general, but can pertain to each and every one of us.
I'm sure most of us in the "over 50" catagory have been on this earth long enough to see a lot of good and bad in this world. One thing that always bothers me is the old "why do bad things happen to good people?". I know plenty of good, decent, folks who have had terrible circumstances, trials and tribulations, and just generally bad things happen to them. Being a good compassionate human being, one has to wonder why. What have they done to deserve this. Why is life so cruel sometimes. Then on the flip side, we see people who we know are doing questionable things, living questionable lives, rude, don't care about anyone but themselves, etc, who are thriving and seem to be living a good life. I guess there will never be an answer to this question, and it bothers me terribly. For me, some of the stuff I have seen, has made me question a lot of my beliefs, religious up brining and the way I look at life and the world in general. I don't want to start a religion debate or argument in here with this post. I"m a firm believer that you can believe what you want as long its not hurting anyone and you don't force it on me or anyone else. I guess I'm just getting some thoughts out of my head and trying to make sense of some things. I figure if I write them and read it, it may help. Anyway, thanks for letting me put my thought here.
@CyclingThroughLife
yeah you are right but on that note i think that since we are talking about why good people face problems?
but if you see good people face less problems while bad peoples face a problem a day. does the frequency of problems does not matter?
@Skansly
Thank you for mentioning this way of seeing the situation. I have never thought of it like that before
@CyclingThroughLife
Are we are looking from an outside perspective?
Who is making the judgement on who is "good" or "bad"?
I was recently reminded that a person that i ended up in legal opposition with and feel she is a horrible human ...... if i met this person in a different situation........ would i still only see the awful person ?
Perhaps she is the awful person i see ........as i have witnessed her lying being way over the top but perhaps under different situation she is a nice person?
I do not think good or bad things are being handed out like a reward or punishment ......sometimes the circumstances of a difficult time is a huge growth moment..... for those who go through it. Sometimes that growth and perspective is a lesson you could never get any other way.........
I remember all my life this question ... "why does bad things happen to good people?" ...
some find comfort in trying to assign some religious aspect but is just a rationalization but in the end things happen and there is no reason or no one keeping score of who should be spared hardships.
@toughTiger6481
You make some great points.
"Who is making the judgement on who is "good" or "bad"?" First, we all know that we should not judge but human nature makes it hard not to. To me, the "judgement" comes from a set of morals we are taught at a young age as to what is good and bad.....what is mainstream, what is accepted and what isn't in our culture. In my opinion, it doesn't matter what your background or where you come from, we all have a basic understanding of what is acceptable behavior and what isn't.
"I was recently reminded that a person that i ended up in legal opposition with and feel she is a horrible human ...... if i met this person in a different situation........ would i still only see the awful person ?" This is a great way of looking at things. Unfortunately, I have a hard time with this and need to work on it. Changing the way one looks at a situation is a hard thing. I give you credit for seeing the situation this way, especially since you were in a legal situation with the person.
One example that comes to mind when I ask why bad things happen to good people.....The person who lives their life clean, eats clean, doesn't drink or smoke, does everything right, treats people the way they should be treated, and is a generally decent human being by all standards ends up with terminal cancer.....I've know a couple of people like this....and I always ask myself....WHY?
"I do not think good or bad things are being handed out like a reward or punishment ......sometimes the circumstances of a difficult time is a huge growth moment..... for those who go through it. Sometimes that growth and perspective is a lesson you could never get any other way........." While I agree with this in general, it still makes me wonder....what did this individual do to deserve this suffering......
"some find comfort in trying to assign some religious aspect but is just a rationalization but in the end things happen and there is no reason or no one keeping score of who should be spared hardships"
I actually agree with the above statement. Most of my generalizations come from a religious upbringing causing me to "assign a reason", which makes it hard for me to accept. At 51 I have seen so much that goes against what I was taught that I really don't know what I believe anymore....but that is a discussion for another time.....
Thank you for your comments and insight. It gives me another way to look at the situation.
@CyclingThroughLife
This is a really thoughtful post, thank you for writing. I'm in my early 30s, don't have as much experience as you guys I assume. But one thing keeps bothering me is that I was innocent. How could someone hurt an innocent person? This boggles my mind a lot.
Other than that, I haven't really asked "Why me?". For some reason I just jumped into healing. I wanted to heal because I had a dream and I thought if I healed it'll help me reach my dream. And when I started the work saw a lot of people are struggling with even worse things, like (TW) cancer. Another thing that changed my perspective is BPD. People suffering from this mental disease really opened my eyes and I could see why some people choose to leave earth.
After that I adjusted my dream a little bit. It was no more about numbers, like the most capable scientist, but about doing something meaningful. Something beautiful and inspiring, all the while being kind to people and giving out love whenever possible.
So I didn't really wonder "Why me" because with luck I found those stories and they changed my perspective in life. That doesn't mean I don't get angry at life at all, I am very angry but in my core I know it's not about me, all of us are hurting in one way or another and we need a lot of love.
I don't know if it was helpful. Hope it was somehow. Also I'm going to read others' experiences to get insight on new things, especially from that age's perspective.
@CyclingThroughLife One reason is because the laws of nature make no exceptions for good people...when it rains, nice folks & a**holes all get wet. One's personal character has little to do with it.
Another reason is because of randomness, which always disrupts ordered systems sooner or later. In other words, Murphy's Law is real. It is as real as anything discovered in physics or biology; I am firmly convinced of that. As good people are more likely to build & maintain ordered systems in most situations, whenever Murphy throws a wrench in the gears, those decent folks who try to keep it running are often the first to get splattered when the s*** hits the fan. That's my take, for what it's worth.
@slowdecline48
Thank you for your perspective. It makes for great contemplation. And Murphy is another thought process I have not considered.
@CyclingThroughLife Anytime...I usually have something to say. 😄
There's even a Wikipedia article about it.
@slowdecline48
I'll have to look up that article....I'm not a big wiki guy....I don't think I've ever purposefully gone there...only redirected on a web search.....
I really liked your "when it rains" analogy....
I guess the way I always wrapped my head around it is who's to say the "bad" people aren't having it tough as well? Some people are very good at disguising their problems, while others that wear their heart on their sleeve it's obvious when they are struggling. Unfortunately some mask their issues with destructive behavior because they do not want to dig deep into their issues and deal with it. I sometimes think those good people may the stronger ones because they openly feel the pain and try to find healthy ways to overcome it. Just my two cents. 💓
@rebek1022
Agree. Some people choose to deal with pain in a healthy way while others deal with it by causing pain to others.
Things regardless of 'good' or 'bad' adherences, just happen. Anyone would be affected, but the 'vulnerable' and the most sensitive might have different experiences I believe. In short, I would say vulnerable and sensitive rather than the definition good. It is not a victimisation either.
@CyclingThroughLife Here is an answer, the just World Hypothesis
The just-world hypothesis or just-world fallacy is the cognitive bias that assumes that "people get what they deserve" – that actions will have morally fair and fitting consequences for the actor.
I'll come back on this one. (commented for for follow up) 😊. Good topic and insightful responses.
@CyclingThroughLife one day during religion class when I was a kid, the nun let us ask anything we wanted. I asked if God loves us and God can do anything, why does God let us suffer? She never gave an answer.
I've come to believe that everything is just happening. It all just arises as it does when it does. It doesn't mean we don't suffer while in our bodies. But it is all part of the same big singular thing.
@strawberrieslie
I've come to believe that everything is just happening. It all just arises as it does when it does. It doesn't mean we don't suffer while in our bodies. But it is all part of the same big singular thing."
When I posted this, I didn't want it to be a religion thing, but I now believe that the basis of this question goes back to some form of higher power or energy in the universe that effects everything we do. I was raised religious, but started questioning a lot of what I have learned as I grew older, basing these questions on what I have observed in my life. The main things being why does God let us suffer? I don't want to turn this thread into a religious debate. I think I am with you on the whole "everything is just happening" line of thought and the less I try to figure it out, the better off I'll be. Thank you for your outlook on this.
A lovely post makes u think
