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Cheri’s Connection Corner - Being Good Enough

User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful June 17th, 2023

TO THE PERSON WHO THINKS THEY AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH


To the person who looks around and wonders why everyone else is so much more capable, so much stronger, so much more ambitious than them.


To the person who thinks everyone else is blazing a fiery path through this thing we call life, while they limp behind, barely getting through the days.


Somewhere, another person is looking at you thinking exactly the same.


You see, we all look like we’re kinda nailing it, from the outside in.


We all look ‘together’ sometimes.

Catch us on the right day and hey, we look like we have it all.


Because guess what, we learned to look that way a long time ago.

We learned to hide our struggles behind a smile and whack on that mask every day.


And actually, we are doing each other a favour when we show up,

just as we are,

warts and all,

late,

flustered,

human.


What we really need to see is that we are all the same.

We all struggle.

We all fall apart.


Some days we nail it, other days we get nailed.


By hiding our own weaknesses, fears, worries, we give them more power. If you let it out, shine a light on it all, it becomes so much less scary, funny even…

And goodness only knows we need to laugh.🤣🤣🤣


So, to the person who wonders if they are good enough…


If this is you.

Yes you are.

You always were.💕💕💕


You don’t have to live up to everyone’s expectation of how you should be coping.


You are human, flawed, wonderful, miraculous, loveable, loved.😎😎😎


I see you,👀👀👀


Now do me a favour and go see all the others too.💕💕💕


Spread the word, we are good enough, just as we are.


Donna Ashworth


Does this resonate with you ?? How so? What helps you feel good enough and seen?


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User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 17th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

UPDATED TAGLIST 6/6/2023

1st part

@00WHY00 @1Marg1 @24963534 @24Help1 @4Rainbow42 @5catsandme @8Khaleesi8 @ArinDee @Actuallynobody017 @adaptableOcean4193 @adventurousBranch3786 @adventurousSugar1991 @affableowl5126 @affectionateCat9553 @affectionatePear7889 @agreeablestrawberries1285 @ahaller @ahds2k @ahel58 @akbj @AKmarshmallow @Aksabode @alan254 @alanapiana1970 @alleywood13 @amanda @ambitiousNectarine1482 @Amelia2324 @amiablePeace77 @amiableTortoise2797 @AmiYumi @amusingcranberry1537 @AmusingJet302 @anderly @andy @Angelface50 @AnnieIsMe @aquaCake3636 @ARIBA5 @Artemis13579 @AshcloudMac @Aspace4u @Awesomesummer1628 @ayeyaeyaaaaaaaa @azureblueheron @Baby1120 @ballooningSloth @BaltimoreSpring @bamafan96 @Barltik2065 @Beanno @beautifulsoul @becausepuppies @Beck @becknit @beachyone @believing777 @berta0322 @Bestmaple2045 @bestplum1189 @betheileen @better2Bbrave @beverlianne @bigalt21 @Billyjoe9717 @bimmernizer @BirdsWhoWrite @bisketties @bklnstar @BLSD2021 @bluebell34 @BlueEyes1819 @blueOrange6725 @BlueSky0708 @Bluesky1964 @bluevelvet3 @Blugreg @bogartfan @bouncyBeach42 @BookishWendy @bouncyVoice4149 @breezyoctopus @brightChestnut3152 @BrightSugar1923 @bubblePomegranate7179 @BurdensDown @cal1860 @CaliforniaViv @calmblueocean @calmVase7032 @Cammiecat @CandyBubblegumSprinkles @carefreeheart57 @CarefulGrapes590 @carefulsailboat231 @carelady @caringone1004 @CaringPanda45 @caringPumpkin64 @CaringSharon @carscarey @casey90 @cathy @catlady @catmandu @Cazzy8752 @Cheerie @chickadee123 @Chro411924 @CHT @CintaBali @classylady521 @Cliffg747 @coach411 @Communicativepenny8383 @CompassionateLand2815 @Confused7461 @convivialCake8989 @ConvivialFriend9402 @Cookiecrumbles7079 @CoriF @courageousCoconut7282 @CourageousDaisy1111 @CourageousSpring2022 @courteousLime9432 @CreativeYard1702 @crimsonShade6782 @CtownMimi @ctw1237 @Cubby2020 @curiousbutterfly77 @currentwise @cyanBirch4288 @CyclingThroughLife @DanaMH @DancingJoy811 @dapperPond2037 @Dave94305 @debbiehun @decisivetangerine2856 @decisiveBanana1981 @DeeGold @determinedNectarine9383 @dillon8524 @DinaElwy @diofono @diplomaticoak9588 @discreetMelon5938 @discreettriangle87 @DiscretOcean7936 @doginashirt @dolphinlver @Doodles7 @duces @ecstaticlght @einarsgirl @elderfarm @Electric100 @ElizabethGiovi @EmbStitcher33 @empathicForest15 @Emptynest2020 @endearingLion70 @Enthusiasticnest1089 @equinox56 @Eva66 @Every1ahome @ExDesertScapegoat @exuberantAvocado5095 @fairmindedStrawberries7429 @Faithfulapple2400 @faithlove1111 @Favor2020 @favour @FlowerLily23 @FoolsSelf @forcefulFriend4768 @forcefulStrings1005 @forcefulWriter32 @forko23 @Freeskier @friendly10 @friendlyCat50 @fromthetent81 @frothyMagic6772 @FusionX33 @GabbyGee @Gabriellegahnsuksah @Gale1032 @galfromaway @gardenyarn @generousBalloon786 @gentleEast4230 @gentleLand5245 @GiftedEmpath3 @goldilocks1041 @goodmelon8247 @goodYard1477 @GrammatoBoys @Grandma1 @GrandmaLolly @Gramma2FnM @Grammy23 @Greenpear036 @greenSummer1236 @gregariousKiwi9594 @gregariousZebra21 @guitarman087 @Gwen1963 @GypsyRed @HaloCompany88 @Heather2020 @helloBike4402 @hellopusher @helloTalker8798 @honestPeach5447 @Hotaru419 @hounddog2021 @HY00 @iamroni @Iamwhoiamwhoami @icedcoffee211109 @IHDW1982 @ihtak @impartialDrum1848 @indigolilly1500 @indigoMoon1246 @innerLove @introvertedextrovert2122 @intuitiveBunny8426 @intuitiveFriend1097 @Irene2552 @IWuzADuck @JackKost @jackrock @japanesegardengirl @jazzgtr @Jim @jlmouranet @jillwings7@JolivetteListens @JoniGirl @Judecat42W1370

User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 17th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

2nd Part Taglist

@junem @justbecause @Justbreathingx9 @JustExisting1027 @JustMe1225 @justpassingthrough10 @K8tjee @kala @Katbtrying552 @Kathy1212 @kathy3667 @Kavajava @kcollier6517 @Kevin0291 @kickiree @kickan75 @Kimberley555 @KindblueEyes @kindCloud141 @Kira09 @kit4228 @kitty2018 @kittycat15 @klemen @koyaanisqatse8 @Kurt789 @LadySnowcat @LakeGirl819 @Lara @lateasusual @Lauren63 @LavenderDaily @lesjon @Lifer @lightBalsam5585 @LightSoul108 @lilaj3796 @LimegreenNorth1124 @LindaWinNJ @lisamac724 @ListeningKaty @livefreely04 @LivingLovingLifeRecovery @livingwithbpdx2 @lledmonds1969 @Lolowise475 @lonea @Lonelybeth @LoneShade @lookingforpeace @LostanLonely @Lostinlove50 @love @Love2Boat65 @LovecraftianHorror @LoveResearcher @lrsmith9636 @LucianX @luv2shop @mabelanne20 @madhu @mamamel @mamapants @MariaLands @Marspock @MeaningfulSilence @meforexample @Melayla @Melissa22320 @Melliemel1971 @mellisendis @metta2u @mettagirl @MidwesternCalmSeeker @Mindy @ministermichelle @MissPen@MistyMagic @Mla69 @mm2022 @modestOcean7984 @modestwatermelon2938 @moi2016 @mommabear0562 @MondoRalph @Mooboxer @moocher @morecake @Motherofcats1955 @MrKindness @MsVee2021 @MusicCandy @Musicman50 @musicwithbrass @mutter3 @myer @MysticSoul88 @navyAcai7149 @neatandtidy72 @neverendingtime23 @nippycat @No1Angel68 @nobodyimportantmn @Nogift @NormaAnne @Oddball76779 @oel @OffMyTrack @OliveCamp8456 @omez125 @OmWeAreOne @Open12 @OptimisticAcres4817 @optimisticRaspberries5247 @outofspace7 @PatienceImpatiens @PaytonGlover @Peace1221 @peaceandlove65 @peachy53 @PepperBunny @pgreen6840 @phantomsmilesphilosophicalacai7803 @PitbullMom9 @philosophicalAcres8914 @philosophicalKiwi4956 @pianocat @placidplum3193 @pluckystrings4696 @plumPapaya7147 @plumSkies6526 @politePear3867 @positiveriver9935 @potatoxcrispztrish @practicalbalsam @PracticalCat2637 @proactiveCup703 @Puddinpen @PurpledPeach @purplefan5510 @purplepansies8591 @purpletangerine87 @purpletree4652 @PurpleWater74 @pxidis @Qooo @quietbeach575 @quietFlower25 @quietlightning @quietSail6485 @quietStrawberries9260 @Ran3707 @RainbowRosie @rationalWater7635 @readytolisten7799 @RebelliousMirror @redOrange9587@redCococnut7440 @redPenny @Redpeppers @Redrhapsody @reliablemoon26 @reliablemoon6376 @repen13 @Resourceful2021 @rhoda @richyShiny39 @RideaRainbow @River416 @Roger57 @Ross63 @roxymar @ruffneckred @Ruthanny1243 @sailinsunshine @SallyMoore @sallymander36 @samSympa3 @Sandidegeer @SarahKind @sb805 @ScarletLand3247 @ScarletPear1945 @SeaLady @Seasidelady61 @secretMap2091 @Sedtzl1 @seeker1898 @SeekerSher @seekinghappy55 @seniorlady @sensibleBunny2134 @sensiblePal7535 @Shycat542 @shycranberry2308 @sillyrabbit7 @sincereGrapefruit4682 @sincerelandsincereOak6832 @SKHK @Skyglider @Skyy0 @SleeplessVet @Smilintru67 @smokescrunch @sngrlittle @snugglyLight2001 @sonerii @soothingArrow47 @sophiaaiello @SoulfulCat22 @soulsings @spielmanjr @SpreadAloha @StartExploring @stayingsafe @SteampunkOkc @sthompso @StormyTimes @straightforwardKiwi7811 @stressBear @strugglingtocope99 @Sue1111 @Sue88 @sunnyplum5193 @SunnySpruce3523 @sunnyZebra2336 @Sunshine4691 @SunShineAlwaysGrateful @SusyKaploosy @SuzieQ1 @swammi01 @SweetSami @swim215 @swinston222 @swordpsalm @Tabbysflower @Tailormade1 @tanimaya @Tanq2u @Tawanda526 @tealCranberry7379 @tealDog6333 @tealPlace1858 @Teresa416 @terrig996 @TexasTabby @thecaringone @thoughtfulRaspberries8714 @ThreeFires @Tish1982 @tranquilheart @Treat @Trying5555 @turquoiseJar411 @twidget @twm @Tyedyedbutterfly @understandingSea8000 @Vadras @versatileHickory1709 @Vintagelung @VioletVeritas @Walker7957 @WarmWool @waterdragon81 @weatherphoto @WharfRat @Whisper292 @whisperingfairy7 @whispersrlonely @whitewingeddove1107 @Wicket51 @willow3836 @wittyNest2941 @WonnderWoman @Woodlandwalk42 @wordnerd @worstpossibleusername @WorkingitThrough2 @worthystruggle @WrenegadeWen @xe14 @xinero @xrosez @Yashoda108 @Yushix @youcancallmeLili @zaramerch @Zengrl

User Profile: WharfRat
WharfRat June 17th, 2023

I see what you mean. I have no job, so no income either, and I haven't had one since 2008. Things got tougher for me as I got older. At that point, I'd been to three therapists, but I hadn't told any of them about boyhood sexual abuse. I wasn't ready to talk about it. I was 47 when I was fired from my job in 2008.

I wish I could have talked about it in 1969, when it happened. There was no one I could tell. I wish I could have talked to someone when I wsa a teenager, but there was still no one I could tell. After that, I wasn't ready to talk about it.

All of this has made me waste my life being in my pit. Everyone I knew from school had careers. Some had families - wives, husbands, kids - and a lot of them are retiring now. I'm relying on my mom for financial support.

I've felt like I was a piece of garbage since I was a little boy, worthless, inferior, subhuman, weaker, slower, less capable, and I'm certainly no good at most things. Technology confuses me.


6 replies
User Profile: adventurousBranch3786
adventurousBranch3786 June 18th, 2023

@WharfRat. I can understand how it took you so long to talk about sexual abuse. It took me a very long time to talk about it too,it felt so shameful to me. I think that you are very brave for talking about it now❤️.

4 replies
User Profile: adaptableOcean4193
adaptableOcean4193 June 20th, 2023

@WharfRat and @adventurousBranch3786

I haven't been here for awhile as I have been so busy with doctors and physical therapists, swimming or just worn out. I was following both of you in different places in 7Cups. I now understand why I was drawn to both of you. I could feel the same hurt. I did not know you had similar childhood experiences. I am glad you are or have spoken about it. I feel I started healing after finally opening up about it, but it has been about ten years ago for me, so I have had a bit of time to work on that. My physiatrist did refer me for some cognitive behavioral therapy. Hopefully that will help more. I spent many years with that 'victim' sign on my forehead, and a few more than many years pushing everyone away to protect myself. Keeping away the negative self talk takes daily reminders. It is getting easier to catch it quickly now. I hope the same for you both, or actually, even better. Sending love and hugs your way.

3 replies
User Profile: Barltik2065
Barltik2065 June 20th, 2023

@adaptableOcean4193 and @WharfRat and @adventurousBranch3786

I hear you all and understand.

Together we are strong.

Appreciate you all

It's taken me decades to get to that I can say it. I too was sexually abused. It still hurts to say it.

1 reply
User Profile: adventurousBranch3786
adventurousBranch3786 June 20th, 2023

@Barltik2065. ❤️❤️❤️

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User Profile: adventurousBranch3786
adventurousBranch3786 June 20th, 2023

@adaptableOcean4193. ❤️❤️❤️

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User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 19th, 2023

So sorry 😞 to hear about your childhood trauma. Sometimes in life it takes time to share the trauma when you can personally when the time is right and when you feel comfortable with the right person. 👍


You are not alone. Glad you are here at 7cups. 😎


You ARE good enough and did use therapists to help you along the way. Your moms support is awesome. You are using the resources you had that helped you along the way.


Technology is confusing sometimes Agee 💯 percent it can be.


If you need a friend we are always here for you please know that. Reach out anytime. 💕

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User Profile: WorkingitThrough2
WorkingitThrough2 June 17th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

Thank you for the post.

You know, when you are brought up and made to feel like a piece of crap by family and abusers, it becomes your history as if you wear a sign saying, " Here I am, I'll be your victim. It becomes so hard to feel whole again. @whatarat, I totally get how you feel, and I am sorry that that has been your experience. You may depend on your mom, which does not help your self-esteem, but you are not worthless. You are just down on your luck right now. Maybe you can get a job through a rehab program in your state. It does not pay a whole lot, but the money will help and give a boost to your self-esteem some. I have had to do that at some point in my life, leading to a permanent job later.

You can not help what happened but I hope things get better.❤️

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 19th, 2023

So sorry for your trauma. Families are so tough at times and our family of origin can be complex. 🤗 Self care becomes so important for your mental health.


You are so kind great suggestions … everyone has value!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 YES💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯



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User Profile: Clio9876
Clio9876 June 18th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

I can't have this reminder too much, it seems.

I'm not only good enough, I'm fantastic.

Thanks for the refresher.

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 19th, 2023

Being fabulous is just a state of mind and it is so true!!! We all are valuable and deserve to be reminded we are beyond good … to GREAT!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕


Refresher for EVERYONE!! Love this 💕💕💕💕💕💯💯💯💯💯💕💕💕💕💕💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💕💕💕💕💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💕💕💕🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

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User Profile: Danny0101
Danny0101 June 20th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful i'm start healing journey when i speak about how my parents abuse me physically when i wasn't that good at school , when they compare me with my sisters and brother , i felt like there is something wrong with my mind , i have know later that i'm having ADHD and i was distract so much and cat focus on any subject i don't like ,, i was just keep drawing in math books and physics , i had in physics exam 1 mark from 15 which makes my mom get angry and start to shout and hurt me physically ,, i didn't know why this is big deal ,, after that they move me to another school which is stupid cheating school , and you can even have the exam questions before exam ,, i lost all my friends from childhood and i felt so lonely and depressed crying every day , i could pass last year of school before college , but i wasn't happy about it , i was pretend happiness when my parents feel happy about that i finally will go to college , glad that i choose art and i enjoy studying with high marks ,, after graduate i still can't figure what i have to do with my life , i feel so much anxiety from work , i don't like it at all and can't force my self to work in anything accept art , but i still feel so much anxiety from dealing with other , from perfection and failing and not want to depend on father financially , ex abuse was make it slow as i'm healing from sexually abuse ,, i don't know i'm just try my best to feel like i'm good enough and it wasn't my fault that my parents treat me like this or my ex when i wasn't fulfill his expectation ,, you blame your self when you are the victim because you always think that you did something wrong make other mad or not treat you well ,, it's okay to feel like you doing enough and you fight for years and you are equal to anybody who have job and family and you worthy by who you are not just what you do ,, always remember that you are not the reason and deep down there is many reason to not blame yourself ,, the world is not just fail and success , there is many colours between ,, find the balance and see the problem as a problem not as you cause this problem ,, i hope that you can always heal and find peace in your life 😊💗💗

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP July 3rd, 2023

@Danny0101

Thank you for sharing. So sorry for your struggles.

You through it all have succeeded in school, college and getting a job. No one is perfect it is so true.

It makes me sad you do not enjoy your work as the arts is so important to you. Ever consider a job that brings you more joy? Are there other possibilities ??

It is true trying to live up to others expectations is a thief of joy. You continue to meet your own expectations and live a fulfilling life on your terms. You have found success by following what you love the arts.

Sending you positive vibes through the universe hope this message finds you well. 💕💕

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