Are you coping with loneliness during Christmas' holidays?
Hello everyone !
Christmas is coming, it can be a nice time for most of us, i personally link to it something magic, a bit like when i get hypnotized looking at the moon or at the sky full of shining stars.
It can also be a difficult time for some: loneliness can be common during holidays.
People may feel tremendous pressure to be happy and socially connected. It can triggers feeling of isolation.
Whatever you are going to experience give yourself permission to feel those feelings and share about them if it could help, we will be here for you during Christmas !
1. Are we able to experience and enjoy something like Christmas time alone or do we need to project it in a context of family and perfect celebration?
2. Do you think you will have to face loneliness feelings ?
3. How do you usually cope with Christmas' holidays?
4. Is there something you like to do at Christmas?
Christmas time is always hard for me because I am estranged from my whole family. I still get Christmas cards from some, and it's painful because it reminds me of their existence, and the only time I hear even from the extended family is Christmas and my birthday. My immediate family and I have totally and irrevocably separated, and I am torn between wanting contact from the extended and wishing they would leave me along forever. I suffered severe abuse growing up and this is why. I have a wonderful new family with my husband's family, but everyone does their own thing on Christmas Day. My husband has to work Christmas, and I haven't figured out how to spend it yet so it isn't another yearly bummer. If anybody has any ideas, I am open. :)
@elvenjewel
Hello @elvenjewel !
I'm sorry to hear that this time is particularly difficult for you, also for what happened in past.
I've found this article, i hope it can be useful, you can read it here
I really hope that you can enjoy at best your own family and your husband presence: what a pity he has to work, sure it is not easy...but hopefully the quality of the time spent together will win over the quantity.
We are here for you, so feel free to drop me a message when you need to talk!
Take care!
@BeyondTheInvisible Thank you; what a kind reply. <3 Very much appreciated. I will look at the article, thanks. :)
@elvenjewel
Same here! I really appreciated your post! 
@elvenjewel Same. Sometimes I question why it's as if it's socially acceptable to remember people only at times like Christmas season. It's quite bittersweet for me. Like dark chocolate. Sometimes like extra dark chocolate. But I guess it's still chocolate... only why is it bent on threatening to give me diabetes by piling up on certain parts of the year, I wonder....Living under a rock, I have no suggestions. I was just hoping you'd find my dim humor funny. You're not alone.
What are or have been your hobbies?
@intuitiveWater9305 Thank you, Water. <3 I love chocolate, especially dark chocolate, so your humor was awesome! :D
I am into art, photography, and crocheting. You? :)
@elvenjewel Same here. Writing is the thing I constantly do and I used to know basic stitches from school but on rare occasions I draw and take photographs, too, and more often look at what other people make!
Last week I found a new local restaurant in our neighborhood, and apparently the wall decor (travel quotes with typography and background) were all DIY. With wooden frames. O_O It was pretty cool, like a casual museum.... Do you go to museums?
@intuitiveWater9305 That does sound cool! I love original art. :) I do go to museums but haven't been to any for awhile. What are your favorites? :)
@elvenjewel I don't really have a favorite artwork or artist in general, but I do like black and white illustrations. If they have cross-hatches and have other lines besides contour lines, I'd probably be mesmerized. What about you?
@intuitiveWater9305 If you like looking at art, I suggest DeviantArt. https://www.deviantart.com/ It's a great timewaster, lol. I have an account there and they have a great community. I like black and white line art too. :)
Oh, and I'm glad you appreciate the chocolate humor thing. :)
@intuitiveWater9305 I did. :D
@beyond. That is a good article. I use wiki how alot.
Fortunately for me I'm spending Christmas again with my family. Going to my sisters for Christmas. The only thing is it will be great and everything but my dad might not go. My mum and dad split up and she's going and if my dad goes it will be awkward and my mum doesn't want him to go cuz something happened last time over some present it being my dads partner writing that. I don't know if I will see him or not but he's coming down next weekend with my older sister so probably discuss things then.
I still think of thoses who will be spending Christmas alone. I don't think Christmas is all magical what people say. It is in our heads but in reality it isn't cuz Christmas isn't a good day for alot of people and have to respect that so thinking of those and I'm glad 7 cups is there on Christmas too.
I don't like to imagine people alone on Christmas day. That's the only time I hate when people are alone. You got to think it can be anyone who will be alone. I think of the homeless people. Been seeing them around. I will do something good and give money cuz I want to and as I said its the time I hate seeing people lonely on Christmas. Its horrible. Christmas is for one day and everyone makes a fuss of it but it is just one day and there's no point going all out cuz how cheesy this sounds but Christmas is about family and spending time with loved ones. Realising this growing up it isn't quit presents or anything else.
I hope everyone has a good Christmas here and will be thinking of everyone. X
@TreaureSeekers3
Hi @TreaureSeekers3 ! Nice to meet you, thanks for your post!
You worded it well, and when i talk about the magic of Christmas i think about the fact that we can address to it the meaning of pure love, like celebrating it loud, on this occasion, exactly in the way you said: thinking about people in struggle, feeling close to those that are concretely alone... because somewhere, in the world, unknown persons can keep others in their thoughts, genuinely wishing them the best in life. We can be far but linked by the power of love. We can be alone indviduals with own struggles but still we can be aware that we are not alone in this condtion, someone else is experiencing it and probably they would wish us to be happy, same way we wish that to ourself. It will not fix everyone's issues in life but we can try to feel that together, also sharing the pain and doint that the struggle could be perceived a bit less heavy.
Thank you to be here for others too, with your words and for having shared what you feel!
@TreaureSeekers3 Thank you for a great post, Seeker. :) You had some really good thoughts here. :)
@Jewel I hope things get easier near time for Christmas and were here anytime you need to talk. 7 cups is open on Christmas. I don't know what you will be going through but please reach out if you need help.
Hugs
@TreaureSeekers3 Thanks, Seeker; I appreciate the good wishes, and it is helpful to know 7 Cups will be here too. :)
In the past few years, Christmas season became merely a time when we'd have fancier food and eat at the same table at the same time. We are a quiet bunch; talk feels like smallness, farce, or pretense. The first question struck me; personally, I've been thinking for the past years that there is a "right" way to celebrate Christmas and it made me lose hope for us. Granted, there are things that need to be addressed in our family. But year after year, I numbed myself to sensations other than those which are physical--food, scents, music. And it came to the point I thought I and my family members simply didn't belong to society. I can't open up beyond the computer screen. I even lost someone very important to me and who had a huge impact on my life; I lost them because I was too afraid to meet new people like their friends and to introduce them to the ones whom I think are my friends. I'm slowly learning how to overcome that, but that particular person is totally gone from my life.... I guess this is also close to social anxiety besides loneliness, but what I want to say is, for anyone who relates to this thread, don't lose hope. You're not alone!
@intuitiveWater9305
Thank you @intuitiveWater9305 !!
I'm so glad to have read your post!
I'm sorry for your lost and for the difficult moment. You had some reflections towards it and that is positive in itself, you can be conscious of your feelings and the struggle, it is the first step to face them and keep on going knowing that there is still something to give a meaning to, something to live and enjoy, something to offer.
I wish you that things will go better, we are here for you too and thanks for having been supportive to others with your post!
@BeyondTheInvisible Yup! Thank you so so much. I appreciate it.
@intuitiveWater9305
You're welcome!
I've always wanted to go on a Christmas Eve date downtown to walk around and watch the Christmas lights together. Looks like it's not gonna happen this year either. I want to have someome, it's sad
@rationalKitten
Hi @rationalKitten !
I am sorry that probably you will not experience to go watching Christmas lights and most of all i am sorry to hear that you feel alone.
We are here for you , I hope you will stay with us to share what you feel to!
Take care!
@rationalKitten That sounds like a great idea, Kitten! I was actually thinking of attending services at a local church. I am not a member, but it would be a nice thing to do. One of them is having a Christmas concert and sent us a postcard inviting neighbors. :)
I'm too busy at work to get lonely. I get Christmas Day off, but I have so much catch up work to do with other projects that I'll probably spend most of the day grinding out work on those other things. I might.. might be going to a coworkers house to celebrate with his family and some friends, but that remains to be seen.
@DaveMcGrath
Hello Dave !
Wish you to enjoy Christmas time in the way you wish to, then!
Happy vacation time!
1. I think that Christmas can definitely be celebrated alone :)
2. No, fortunately this year I am with my family for Christmas
3. It's always pretty hard, because I'm usually sick around this time of year. Presents definitely help, but if there are none, you have to find something to look forward to. It could be anything from seeing a friend to eating at your favorite restaurant.
4. I love Christmas eve/night, because I'm always able to sleep, when normally I can't.
@TCo
That's really amazing!
Well, i wish you there will be a present under your Christmas tree... let's anticipate a virtual one 
1. I do think it's possible to celebrate Christmas alone, but I think it's better to celebrate with others. I can't see not celebrating Christmas anytime soon without either my family or with inlaws, so I'm lucky that way. Even without family, friends would include me with celebrations if they knew I was alone. As for a perfect celebration - I doubt that exists!
2. Yes, although different from the typical sense of being alone. I do have lots of people who care, but they don't really understand what it's like. The times I will be seeing people will be a big different this year too, and while it will be fun seeing people when I do, I think I'm going to miss certain people on specific days too.
3. I do really enjoy Christmas. The difficult part of coping for me comes to not setting my expectations too high - there is so much I want to do, but managing it all with my health issues isn't possible. I do try to decrease the amount of pressure I put on myself but still extra things pop up (like acute illnesses for both hubby and myself) reducing what I thought I could get done. I do try to spread out all the prep to make it easier to deal with, years ago I started to really get into my shopping in Novemeber, and as Black Friday has become more common here that has helped get into that too.
4. Lots! Seeing all the outdoor decorations, even if not specifically on Christmas Eve or Day. Opening gifts with family, the traditional food, having a meal with people gathered together, the Christmas parties. And while the prep can be draining I still enjoy lots of those aspects too.
@AffyAvo
Hi Affy, thanks foor sharing!
It's good that you are trying to organize things to balance what you would do and the effective energy you have to do things! I'm glad to hear you enjoy this time and i really wish you this year it will be an awesome Christmas for you and those you love !
