TEDTalk by Johann Hari: Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong

@MonBon I'm in the middle of reading Johann Hari's latest book, Lost Connections, about the causes of depression and anxiety. He researches thoroughly and he's a great storyteller. But he has also been widely criticised, and from what I've read so far I suspect maybe that's because he sometimes allows his narrative to come adrift from the facts.

I was impressed by the TED talk, and particularly by this section near the end:

And what I've tried to do now, and I can't tell you I do it consistently and I can't tell you it's easy, is to say to the addicts in my life that I want to deepen the connection with them, to say to them, I love you whether you're using or you're not. I love you, whatever state you're in, and if you need me, I'll come and sit with you because I love you and I don't want you to be alone or to feel alone.

It reminded me of the goal of 7 Cups:

Our Goal: We are living in a world with an immense love deficit, which means that none of us is receiving the love we need to reach our true potential, to truly thrive. Our goal is to build a support system, a web, that can hold every member of our world. We believe that we can fill that love-gap for every person in the world, either because they are an active member of our community or because they are touched personally by someone who has been empowered by 7 Cups of Tea.

7 Cups for the Searching Soul has a whole chapter on love, but in our listener training I can't find any mention of love at all. It makes me wonder whether we could perhaps do better.

So yes, I liked the video. And I would have believed in it except that there's a seriously addicted person I know well in real life who has always had plenty of supportive connections—family, friends, neighbours and lovers—someone everyone likes and wants to help. Yet they remain seriously addicted. I'd like to believe the theory, but I know that the answer, if there is an answer, is not as simple as that.

Charlie

@MonBon

Thank you for sharing this.

Allow me to introduce myself, I'm a porn addict. I didn't know that, until I quit my job early this year around January, and I found myself dealing with my problems by watching porn, thats when it hit me, I had a problem, and I needed to face it. I was tired of the old me, and I was tired of my old habits. Stood up, and decided to go to a support meeting, face to face, with people who might understand me, I was very nervous, and scared, will they judge me ? will they accept me ? will I ever quit my addiction ? can I be normal again ? All I can say is that they said to me , keep coming back, and they were very welcoming, and I felt like I finally found a group of people who I can relate to, and who understand me. In time, I found a sponsor, and they were supportive, day by day, I found myself counting days of sobreity, day by day, week by week, month by month, I felt strong, and I started exchanging old habits with new habits, reading books, contributing, CONNNECTING, and I grew spiritually, to a point, where I fetl like whatever Gods may be, they were with me, and I was the strongest. Up to here is the good part of my story. Next, is the sad part, I had an expectation that was growing every day, that I will be able to find a job that I want, and to be able to finally manage my financial crisis, plus get over a really nasty divorce, with all that on my mind, a few days ago, I was sitting down, and I thought to myself, I'm never gonna be able to recover, nobody actually loves me, nobody cares about me, I felt that if I had some deeper connections, or better love relationships, from family or friends, I would have been able to carry on, but I failed, I just had a major relapse, and it hurts to be alone, and its not easy to stand up again after you fall. If this world had more love, it would be a much nicer place. For now, I'm gonna try to love myself by myself, and lick my own wounds.

@MonBon what do u mean by what eveer we know about iddiction is wrong???

@MonBon Thank you for sharing! This was a wonderful TedTalk and I feel is very accurate. I had heard about the mice study in the past and found it fascinating and a great representation of what we should be striving for as a culture as well as individually.

I personally loved it found it very relatable. It's very hard to not feel alone with addiction and as if the world is against you. Hiding away from loved ones for the shame of feeling like you're a bad person again for any slip ups made forcing us to feel as if we have to hide it as a secret which just pushes us further away from people around us. Carrying this box of a secret life inside us around that we feel nobody can open or understand. Intervention point rang true it does feel like a witch hunt and like you're a naughty child it's very demeaning to an already self-esteemless soul. Or lack of soul. Which is what you feel like stuck in the abyss of addiction. We need more families and friends to actually try to understand how we feel to be turning to these self destruct behaviours in the first place. I constantly feel worthless and the bad guy who people just expect to f#%! Up all the time. It's drowning. Everyone is in recovery from something, 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄 x

Hello @MonBon

I aggree whole heartedly with the idea that isolation drives addiction. In my situation, ive been on pain management for about 7 years, and have always been open about it with freinds and neighbors. I noticed how they started backing away from me for what i thought wad a mystery; and it made me feel bad, made me question my own worth, made ne start isolating more and more; until 2 years ago when I was really suffering isolation and the dose I took remained the same for 7 years. I didnt do anything wrong, yet felt shunned, mistreated and now depressed. I started having terrible anxiety attacks, then ideation: and started calling crisis for support. I ended up admitting myself through the emergency room twice. While in the hospital, i bounced back, made freinds, and felt better. When i got back home i went back to depression, isolation, and feeling worthless. I seeked out help from social services, but yet in my explainations the very mention that i take daily opioids, seemed to change their desire to help me get involved somehow so i could feel a part of something. Its so sad that I have done exactely as instructed by my doctor, and its led me to suffering in unimagineable ways. Its terrible treatment towards people at their lowest point in life, when they need some social involvment more than ever. When we need help the most, we get less help. The sicker we are, the worse we are treated. Its a decietful way the state saves money. Instead of helping which costs money, they treat us worse which saves them money when we finally give up because we see it is a dead end path they put us on.

I enjoyed the TED talk, and I agree with the majority of it. I have been saying for a long time "Drug addiction is not a criminal problem, it's a mental health problem". The only thing I don't agree with is sometimes you do have to distance yourself from some loved ones in certain situations. Especially if there is abuse, and most of the time, that's the case.

This is what I really agree with:

"What if addiction isn't about your chemical hooks? What if addiction is about your cage? What if addiction is an adaptation to your environment? "

"Looking at this, there was another professor called Peter Cohen in the Netherlands who said, maybe we shouldn't even call it an addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."

"And a core part of addiction, I came to think, and I believe the evidence suggests, is about not being able to bear to be present in your life."

@MonBon Hello I just herd Johann Hari's Ted Talk on Addiction
The relationship part is true; no one can argue with that. (that is what people work on in recovery)

The last line is the opposite of addiction is not sobriety,
the opposite of addiction is a connection very true or the first line said in a different way.
Old wine in a new bottle, What we call Recovery is all about learning to reconnect with self, their sponsor, and others, so nothing new.
People always want to listen when certain trigger words are used as bait.

How to Become a Millionaire: Let me tell you the secret Bla Bla Bla
Suddenly everyone is paying attention
How to lose 25 lbs in 30 days: Let me tell you the secret Bla Bla Bla
Suddenly everyone is paying attention
and so on.

The first thing is he has a British accent, so everyone pays attention because it is different. Any statement beginning with "Every & All the time" is usually not accurate. Rat experiment people with great lives and connections look like that to others; the person with a beautiful experience often does not think of their life as pleasant.
He said there is no withdrawal from heroin because soldiers coming from Vietnam, did not need to go to rehab. They never used opiates after coming to the USA. Man has never seen a VA hospital.

He appears to be a performer, tooting his horn, trying to make a living by giving inaccurate information to people about life-threatening illnesses., he should be arrested because what he is saying has the potential to cause serious harm.