A Talk On Self-Care By AmiableBunny
Talker: @amiablebunny4016
What is your idea of spending a balanced time on 7cups? Share your idea of how a good day looks like on 7cups, for you.
I think 7cups is an amazing community! I see such supportive, beautiful, amazing people everyday. I think it's good to have a balanced time on 7cups. Some people find it more helpful to spend more time. Some people find it helpful just to spend a bit of time here. It depends on the person really. For me, I just love supporting others but also receiving support. Even small words of kindness can make a big difference.
What challenges did you face in trying to strike that balance?
It was very hard to be balanced with real life and the digital world on 7cups. At the same time of dealing with my own life and problems, I also wanted to spend time on here and see how everyone is doing. It's very hard when life gets busy! But I think I kind of got used to it.
How did you try to deal with those challenges?
I think I created a routine and kind of got used to it. Creating routines and helping ourselves can be really useful sometimes!
What are the benefits of improving your balance for the time you spend on cups?
Sometimes sitting in front of a screen isn't good for us. So I think taking breaks and maybe just having a bit of time to ourselves is good. It's good to be on cups and see and meet new people, but it's also good to spend time with ourselves.
What message would you like to give to the cupsers who have come to be negatively attached to cups, in one of the many ways?
If there is something bugging you on 7cups or if you have had a negative experience I think it's best to find positive ways to be here. Remember: We all go through hard times. We all have negative experiences and things might be tough. But you're strong and amazing and worthy. You can get through this. It's all gonna be okay in the end. Love yourself. You are you at the end of the day. Take care of yourself. Make time for yourself because you matter!
Want to give a self-care talk too? Select the 'self-care at 7cups' option here: https://tinyurl.com/LivingwithLeaders
It's helped me to be a part of this community even though I haven't been in it very long. I've connected with people who deal with the same issues that I do. But I keep a good balance how much time I spend on here. I feel the need though to respond to everybody who tags me or response back to me. But I enjoy interacting with the few that I've come in contact with so far.
On the technical side of things here, I wished the phone app was a little easier to move around in. It's a bit of a challenge for me to keep track of posts and responses. The notifications don't really take it to the very response that it alerts you to. But so far I've been able to find most of them. It may be me and that I just don't know how to effectively maneuver around yet.
If there's anyone out there going through some things and you need a friend I can be here for you thanks!... 😊
I might add too that another added benefit here is it takes away from time I spend in that most popular social media site. After reading through my newsfeed there, I feel I need to come to a place like this for therapy and comfort!... LOL 😂
The one quality of this forum as opposed to the one popular social media site is anonymity and being able to express things here that you don't dare express there... 😊
Hi @Spearman60, I agree about the site. I haven’t been a Listener very long but I was to be on top of everything that I want to be.
While this is new for me, I know I need to find the balance you’re describing. I love the paths and all of the information in them.
I would like to be friends with you!
@Fristo
@amiablebunny4016
Hi Fristo! 😊❤️ Thank you so very much for another wonderful interview! Thank you also for the topic as it is a much needed one.
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
Hi Bunny! 😊❤️ Thank you for handing yourself over for the interview process! This is very courageous of you to share your thoughts and feelings with all of us. I enjoyed reading yours! ❤️ Self care, as well as 7 cups addiction, truly is a topic that cannot be discussed enough.
While everything that you said resonated with me I love how you said "If there is something bugging you on 7 cups or negative experiences, it's best to find positive ways to be here". Well said my friend! 😊
For me, I feel as if it is truly a shame for others to be driven into self care based on negative experiences here on 7 cups. Seems a bit counter intuitive as this is an emotional and mental health awareness site. I know it happens and I have been there, long, long ago. lol I took maybe a week or week and a half off of the site to really wrap my mind around what was going on, how to make sense of it all, how to "frame all of this up mentally" as well as how to proceed forward and to deal with the issue upon my return.
What I came up with in my time away was that I needed to instill some boundaries with others. That I wasn't taking a self care break based on personal issues but that I had been driven away from a place that I love based on the bad behavior of others. I realized it's a "them problem" and not a "me problem" and that I would have to find the courage to instill those boundaries upon my return. Me taking a self care break was taking away from me supporting others, feeling a sense of community and working hand in hand with my teammates. That because of the poor behavior of others, it was taking away from all of the good things I could have been doing.
While instilling boundaries and saying "no" to others, no matter how politely you say it, or say it without actually saying the word "no" (that is a true art form by the way) hearing "no" can make others angry because they aren't getting what they want. I realized it had to be done and I did it and have never looked back!
There are ways to mitigate some of the circumstances. Speaking to a listener while on the member side, if one is experiences certain challenges there can help. Speaking to a peer support while in the listener role and on the listener side also helps.
There are many tips and tricks. I call it "don't throw out the baby, with the bath water" lol. There are ways to help with the feelings of 7 cups addiction, ways to monitor ones self, making "contracts" and commitments to oneself and in writing and following through. Even putting ones account on a "self care break" is quite crafty as it adds an extra step, makes you work harder to get back onto the site and make ones self think about what they are doing. 😊
If one still wants to be here, as we all deserve to be here, there are ways to still feel the positive affects of being a part of our wonderful community. One can avoid certain areas, avoid certain people. One can pivot, turn and spend some of their great energy on different areas of the platform. Aha, not working out so well in one area....may I introduce you to another in which you may get more traction and feel quite gratified!
There is something called "empathy fatigue" or "compassion fatigue" as well. We all deserve moments away to fill up our very own personal "well" if we feel as if it has run dry. It's so very hard to fill up the cup of another if ones own personal well is lacking. Self care rocks! 😊❤️ Engaging in self care is never a sign of weakness but instead a sign of strength. Brilliant to know ones self! The true "giver" wants to ensure their giving is effective, quality over quantity.
While even on an airplane, one is asked to put on their air mask first and then, and only then to put the air masks on of others around them. At first blush, this may seem selfish. It's not, it's not at all. It's the most logical and kind thing you can do for others around you so that you can help the masses!
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@Fristo
very nice interview and community post!!! i feel the same way with regards to balancing my real life with my life on 7 Cups and online! Great job Fristo!!!
