A Talk on Self-Care with Sun
Interviewee: @Sunisshiningandsoareyou
What is your idea of spending a balanced time on 7cups? Share your idea of how a good day looks like on 7cups, for you.
An ideal balanced time on cups for me would be a midway point where I feel invested in something, be it a 1:1 chat, in a room or forum, or any similar activities as a part of my roles, and yet not burned out or exhausted. It should feel good, satisfying, and comfortable!
For me, a good day in cups is one where I feel satisfied knowing I met some wonderful people, contributed my bit in making our community better, and enjoyed my time here while doing all that I did!
What challenges did you face in trying to strike that balance?
I wouldn't call it a challenge per se, but I feel, something or other is always happening in cups, there are multiple spaces where one can be around, and so the whole idea of hopping to one place from another, wanting to give the best in all spaces at all times can be sometimes exhausting.
Another one, on a slightly personal note, is that I feel when there's not much to compensate against, we tend to continue doing it! For instance, I remember during the lockdown days, saying 7 cups was my first home wouldn't be a lie lol, I stayed here all the time, funnily, it never felt burdensome or in the addictive sense ~ I could be here so often because I didn't have much to do off cups, to compensate my time and energy for. So I guess, that might also be the case for many people here, the transition between having lots of time to be in cups ( which of course inclines one towards taking up more roles and getting more involved in the community ) to now having rather limited time and energy to spend here!
How did you try to deal with those challenges?
Good question! I am still working on them lol, but I feel it all starts with acknowledging the fact that something isn't going too right and intervention needs to be made, after acknowledgement ~ we have to * accept * the situation we are in, only after these 2 steps can one really consider working on something. ( someone who denies burnout or how real the 7 cups addiction is, probably will fall deeper till they are able to realize and actively seek improvement, speaking from experience haha )
For me, stepping down from some roles, taking partial breaks from different spaces ~ alternating my time between being in them, have certainly helped!
I try to minimize the time I spend in cups overall, through mental notes and reminders haha, one such reminder for me is to, step back or hop off when I feel I have to or should!
I feel it is too much of a "will power" thing too ~ for me, I know, I won't log in here unless I have a clear goal in mind of what it is that I need to be here for or more like "where" ~ at one time, I am either in the room, or the PMs or in forums ~ I've been working on letting go of the habit to multitask haha, lately it hasn't felt like a great skill for me, and rather just, something I can do but even if I didn't, I'd be better off without, more often than I'd like to really admit!
So being aware of what tasks I do, how much time it takes approximately, the priority basis, sure helps!
And of course, at the end of the day, it all comes down to knowing when to take a step back ( and actually take it ).
What are the benefits of improving your balance for the time you spend on cups?
I am still in the process of this balancing act, and I feel it will be a forever thing for as long as I am in cups hehe! Some benefits of having a improved balance, I think are -:
♡ Less feeling " duty - like " - It should always be " I *want* to be here " instead of " I *have to* be here!
♡ More time for off cups commitments - it might come off as a bit bizarre to some who haven't experienced this, but yes, it is true, being here sometimes can lead to making 7 cups our life instead of only a " part " of our life.
♡ Feeling less drained and exhausted in general.
♡ Affirming that " Quality over Quantity " always is the better option - I feel a lot of people can relate with this, and so I'd like to assure you that, it will always be the quality of your support and contributions that should matter, over the quantity!
Take one chat but give it your all, take one role but shine the brightest ~ it matters significantly!
♡ More time and energy in general to do things you ( I ) really enjoy doing - It is a known fact, time and energy you spend somewhere can be replaced. Before someone is greatly active in cups, they are still living their life, doing their thing, after being here, the time and energy get divided heavily ( especially if 7 cups is overpowering real-life ) ~ but again, that is still *your* time and energy and when there's a balance of things, you get to choose where you wish to spend it in the most efficient manner ( according to you ).
What message would you like to give to the cupsers who have come to be negatively attached to cups, in one of the many ways?
Continuing from the last answer, To sum it up generally, I feel a balance is super needed, to restore ourselves, to not allow us to lose focus off the important things both on and off cups, to be reminded of our purpose, goals and values, to be honest with ourselves ~ " I am doing so much in 7 cups " will never compensate for not living your life off cups, you're the only volunteer / admin / leader / ambassador of your own life ~ you live it first, as how you please, rest shall follow ~ and yes, you are still the same kind, empathetic, compassionate, lovely being when you choose yourself or when you tell someone " no " or when you simply cannot do or be at a place anytime!
Having said that, I know how truly captivating this place can be, due to so many different reasons, it can be difficult to even acknowledge that we are negatively attached, but knowing so many others are in the same boat, is comforting, and then affirming that it is possible to work on reducing our addiction and develop a healthier relationship with 7 cups is impactful!
All we gotta do is, to be honest with ourselves, accept even if things are difficult to accept, be open to seeking support, and discuss with peers and mentors ( I am really glad Fristo has started this series, I am certain this would be super helpful to the community ), be okay with the idea of making many trials and have several learning points in this journey ( in cups and in achieving a balance ) and last but not the least, to know and believe in ourselves and our pace!
Start Somewhere And Then Tell Yourself That It Is Super Okay To Be At Your Pace, Sooner Or Later We Shall Reach Someplace Much Better From Where We Started!
To each their own, but to all of us *together* ~ we got this! ❤
Tagging our series supporters: @sunisshiningandsoareyou @sia1325 @fristo @Moonlemon48 @musicalHarmony @SoftFaith2004 @KyleBorg @audienta
(Want to be tagged too, in the new interviews? Type in "I am A Talk on Self-Care interview series supporter", in reply to this thread)
This interview is part of the A Talk on Self-Care Interview Series. Learn more here
@sunisshiningandsoareyou I quote "Start Somewhere And Then Tell Yourself That It Is Super Okay To Be At Your Pace, Sooner Or Later We Shall Reach Someplace Much Better From Where We Started!"
I am soo happy to see that you have been working on your habits, and indeed we have to accept it after acknowledging it. Thank you so much sun for being such an inspiration to the whole community! We appreciate your honesty alot!:) Thank you so much for the reassurance! We are all in this together and we absolutely got this<3
Awww so very appreciated , Moon ! Thanks alot , I cherish your kindness and warmth. 🤗❤ @Moonlemon48
Thanks for the interview @Fristo ! 😊❤
@Fristo
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Hi Fristo! 😊❤️ Thank you for the forum post and another great addition to the interview series. It just came around and cycled my way. First time I have seen this and I am grateful to do so! Many thanks for always creating thoughtful questions. *high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
Hi Good Day Sunshine! 😊❤️ Thank you for handing yourself over to the interview process and giving us your thoughtful responses. What it is that you say to us has so much value. Every single, solitary thing you have said, highly resonates with me! And in a very big way! I really could not agree with you more on each and every point that you made!
Thank you for being a true gift to all of your teammates and to 7 cups! Thank you for being a gift to me personally! ❤️
I love your thought process. We are so very much alike. Some of the things that you mentioned are what I call coming here with the "spirit of intentionality". What you gonna' do today, who you gonna be today? Can you keep the commitment to be the same great person you were here on the site yesterday? And so many of the things that you said, help us to do that very thing! If I can't keep those commitments to 7 cups, to my teammates and to myself by having integrity, then yes, I shouldn't be signing onto my listener account in an effort to support others around me.
I love what you said about multi-tasking. Sure, I get it too. There is what is called "effective time management". But multi-tasking sometimes comes with a very high price tag, to ourselves and to others around us!
I believe in mindfulness, being fully immersed in the moment. Having a true moment and true connection. With plugging in and drilling down deep, every one gets the same great "product" of you being you, over and over again. Consistency is the key. Doing otherwise, I feel like the heart and the mind is divided. It's not giving the other person on the other end 100% of your focus. It would rob you of the experience as well as all of the other people around you! Agreed, this is exactly what it means to be practicing the concept of Quality over Quantity. Slow and steady wins the race. 😊❤️
I so hear you with what you spoke of when talking about moving all across the platform. Even Einstein only had 24 hours in a day, and trust me, I'm no Einstein! lol For me, I have to understand that in addition, I am not a constant empathy machine. Even I have my limits. I have to make choices and decisions of where and how I engage and spend my time here on 7 cups in an effort to maximize my time and my resources.
I guess for me, I have spent a great deal of time behind this screen. I'm living it! For me, during my time and feeling a learning curve on 7 cups, I end up coming up with "catch phrases" or what some have referred to as "Gizzie-isms" 😊 One of them is "learn to return". This is part of what I also refer to as my "listener tool box", great tools to pull from, draw from when needed.
I have to "learn to return" and realize that I'm here for everyone. I can't get pulled into one person daily, all day every day. It inhibits their growth as well as mine. If an area across the platform isn't working out so very well at the moment, I remember what I said to myself about "learn to return", get out of that area, go use my skills in another. I can't be pushed into self care because of the behavior of others because it's not gratifying or rewarding to me as a human being. And yes, we are all human beings behind our screens, with a heart, a pulse and feelings, emotions. ❤️
This goes right into precisely what you said about, if it stops having any element of fun, at all, well, you have to rethink things and reconsider your approach!
Good Day Sunshine, as always, *high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️. Stay great my friend! 😊
@SparkyGizmo (darnnnn coming to this only a month later 🙈-- never too late to bask in some "Gizzie- Glow" though 🥰)
Omigosh Sparky Sparkkk, thankyouuuuu for commenting, I always look forward to hear what you have to say everywhere/ everytime to anyone at all --- you have so so so much value to offer and you do give us all of it so generously, it really means alot to me that *you* feel we share the same thought process, it's like one of my most cherish worthy moments right here, right now lol --- to share the same mindset as you, I just admire you that much haha #dealwithit lol. 😛
My Oh my! Thankyouu for sharing your "Gizzie-isms" --- I won't hesitate before saying, you have so much value to offer, and your Gizzie-isms are so perfect (I know these aren't a one day thing, you've tirelessly worked through realising all of it, investing so much time and efforts going deep in here, drilling down, adapting to the values and core of 7 cups in your Listener journey here --- ofcourse many of these have the "backing" of irl experiences and wooohoooo for always being up to uplift those around you, in your best possible way, within your best possible capabilities). Sparky Sparkkk, you know you could actually compile a whole "listener tool-box" document for the community (yes, closer to what a primer is like --- only that this one will be jampacked with lots of experience, insights, encouragement, warmth, support and the "tried and tested" approaches haha) --- I think that will be one awesome gift to the community. I agree with everything you said and honestly couldn't have said it better --- you are so Spot Onnn, my friend! (Yes, gotta use bolds to emphasize oooff) 🤗
I cannot thank you enough for all the kindness and encouragement you provide to all, you're a gift to me tooo, Sparkyyy, the bestest, most cherished one. I value you lots and lots. ❤️
*high fives* and *infinite hugs for you*
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Hi Good Day Sunshine! 😊❤️ *high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️
I really must say, I'm so incredibly grateful that you see value in my responses to others, support, care for all of my teammates as well as the Gizzie-isms and my little "listener tool box" concept! 😊❤️ You just made my *heart sing* ❤️
I guess for some reason I go back in my mind to the concept also that "third time is the charm" for today. Ya' know, you are the third amazing quality mentor that has mentioned that maybe there is something to all of this. That maybe moments could be captured, a forum post, something? One quality mentor captured a moment or two when they saw me in the moment, in action and posted them on some sort of 7 cups approved resource. Must admit, that was truly an honor.
If you feel strongly about this, want to see this come to fruition maybe you can help me? Maybe you can mentor me, lead the way, devise a crafty way for me to deposit information and kind of "get out of my own head"? I'll be incredibly forthcoming and tell you exactly what my "problem" seems to be, lol. I guess even in forum posts that Glen has created, he speaks about "flow". I understand exactly what he means.
See, for me, when I'm responding to someone elses forum post, working in the LSR or helping some one in a pm, it's all flow, no frazzle. These are all moments when it's just not about me, at all. It's about the other person. It all flows. They are my focus. It's all very real, no focus on me, no stage fright. I guess it's truly this service driven leadership feeling. I imagine many around here think I have no fear, and I just kind of roll. *shrugs shoulders* For me, it's just the concept that I'm in the moment, it all happens organically. It's the moment and so in those moments, what comes to mind comes to mind. I guess for me it's part of walking a path of authenticity.
@Fristo I'm confident, can attest to the fact that when they asked me to be a part of the interview series...well, they may have been a little surprised to see me kind of "lock up" as the focus was now on me and not others focused. *high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️ Fristo for being the "clean up crew" on my responses. What you did, how you highlighted and arranged the responses from me was a true gift.
@Bubblegumwings1234 (aka Wingy) I'm confident can attest to this as well. They did my training for chatroom mentor. Once again, another amazing teammate that was part of the "clean up crew" for me, lol. 😊 Wingy knew that I know the material. They have worked side by side, arm in arm and heart to heart with me for a very long time in the LSR and they have seen me in action. But it was a focus "on me moment" during the training. They quickly noticed this, told me "Giz, you know this stuff. I've seen you do it over and over. We got this"! ahhhhhhhhh, something clicked and then I could move forward. *high fives*😊 and big *hugs* ❤️ Wingy!
Good Day Sunshine, I guess at least I'm just being very forthcoming. Maybe you can help me to push out of my comfort zone and maybe for me to create my very own forum post? We all learn together. I'd be really grateful for any help that you might have. Teamwork makes the dream work. Again, *high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️
@thesunisshiningandsoareyou
so good. I would get on like multiple times a day but I had to back off because I felt I was on too much.Needed balance for sure
@anxietywarrior23
Thanks for replying, Warrior. Balance is surely needed. Best wishes always. ❤️
@Fristo thank you for the sweet and important post!
@sunisshiningandsoareyou Sunnn this is so lovely and helpful, thank you so much for sharing your experiences and the lovely reminder that what we do is enough and it's important to be happy and satisfied, not burntout. Me has saved it to read it again and again. Me is so happy to see your progress, and yess we're all together and we got this!
@LavenderHere
Aww sweetiee Lavvv, many thanks for your kind words. I'm super glad you could resonate with my words and insights and it helped you in someway too, yes ofcourse hehe, feel free to read it as many times you need --- we can all use the reminders often. Sending love and cookies your way, lovely Lavvv! ❤️
@Fristo OMG, what an excellent words. I took so much from this big thank you:)))
Yay @calmingsun111, so glad this was helpful in some way. ❤