@Jill7cups
I would wish that people understand that addicts do not choose to become an addict in the way the public often sees it. Being an addict who is still using the substance means having war with yourself every single day. Recovery is hard work, lots of struggles, lots of pain. The way to becoming "sober/not using the substance anymore" has many obstacles but thankfully also a wonderful moments of LIGHT and HAPPINESS never been seen and experienced before.
@amiablePeace77 well said!
I wish people understood that it's not always peer pressure that causes an addict to take that first hit,first drink or do that first line. Sometimes it's boredom or just plain loneliness and sadness or just wanting to feel "something" after being numb for some long. That's when it makes the addiction harder to shake. And I also want people to know that it's not just substances you can get addicted to. It's anytime that something is over used to create a sensation of just "feeling". Sex,food,soda. Anytime you over use something to create an alternation of your mood it can lead to an addiction.
@dancingstrawberry34 , @Jenna, @piercetheaiden @PenguinPower31 @lovelyWhisper66, @VinylFly, @InternalAcceptance, @MarshmaIIows @HereComesTheSun7,
@onedirection1213
@IndigoRoses @resourcefulPond1641 @Cashew16 @BeTheChangeYouWant @serenak @greenNectarine3734 @iwant2change @InternalAcceptance @roseMelody95 @ImaMaia @Ang0825
#addiction
@ChassyMom It's true.
@ChassyMom
Absolutely right! Well said.
@ChassyMom You've described it so good! I'm glad there are people that see the other side of it as well. (:
Everyone has had wonderful replies so far and I'm sure there will be many more.
I'd like to add to Chassy's post that sometimes it's feeling too much. Just wanting the overwhelming emotions to end and try to regain some sanity, despite the addiction causing a whole other world of emotions. That's the trade off, one painful world for another. Sometimes it seems worth it until the addiction takes hold. In my experience it's like having traded being trapped in one burning building for another kind of hell. Sometimes it's wanting to run from the reality that's occuring because it's just too painful to bear and be present for. Sometimes it's the memories that are so haunting that it's terrifying.
Recovery is difficult and rewarding. Painful and joyful. It's learning the coping mechanisms that I lacked when I first started using and actually having to implement them into daily life. It's genuinely enjoying my morning coffee and still not always wanting to be around people. It's remembering things I may not always want to and working through them, slowly a lot of the time, with the people I keep closest. It's learning how to trust again. It's looking at the stars and truly seeing how beautiful they are. It's feeling grief full on, no barriers, and having to trust on leaning on my loved ones when I can't keep myself up. It's knowing that they're going to be there. It's choosing life.
@InternalAcceptance wow, that is powerful
@InternalAcceptance you just made me cry ...but in a good way. It's wonderful knowing that you are understood.
@InternalAcceptance
Your words give me hope. Hope that this, right now, doesn't have to be forever. Hope that there are ways to cope that are just currently outside of my knowledge threshold. I thought I'd lost all hope, but maybe there is a little left to hold on to.
@ChassyMom really love what you said
@Jill7cups Thank you so much. It's just what I've been through...
@Jill7cups
I wish people understood that "just quit" isn't that simple. For me addiction is a coping mechanism. With nothing to replace it with "just quit" means being hoplessly stranded. If it were simply a matter of willpower I would have quit a long time ago.
@practicalIdeal2007 agree that "just quit" is really close-minded advice.
@practicalIdeal2007 I agree. A lot of the time, people don't seem to understand that it's not a matter of willpower. If it were, there wouldn't be so many people dealing with addiction in the first place. If it were a choice to "just quit" and be okay, I'm sure that so many of us would have chosen that path long ago. I hope that one day soon, your demons will lessen and you can get a breath of air. -hugs if wanted-
@practicalIdeal2007 yeah you are right. Addictive substances actually causes changes in the brain, and that's what makes quitting so difficult. It's easy to say just quit but it's not that simple. To quit you need to develop new stronger habits to replace the addictive habits, and the length of this process may vary from person to person. :)
I wish people would understand that a lot of people with addiction issues are struggling with mental health issues that theyve either been unable to get treatment for, or that have not been amenable to treatment. I think if more people understood why some people with addiction struggle so hard to recover, if they knew that some of us are in near constant physical or emotional pain when sober.
@LastDitchEffort 
well said
@LastDitchEffort Spectacular point. <3
ADDICTION IS NOT A CHOICE
Being an addicted, I understand, addiction isn't choice. You don't chose addiction because, somehow, addiction chose you.
I started *something* just for fun, then unluckily I went through hard time, and the *something* became my partner at that time.
Now, daily I'm fighting a war. The war is invisible to others. Cause this war is against Me and My Addiction. I'm fighting to make Me win, but I am loosing it everyday against My Addiction.
Let see, when this war ends...
@pgaurav
To add, a lot of people also don't understand the psychology behind it either. Once the user introduces the drug into their system, they are at risk to become addicted. The users body can become physiologically dependant on the drug that they introduced to their system. Once addicted, using the drug is no longer a choice for the use, Their body begins to sees it as a means to surviving. And often times that can be true, depending on how much the user's system is dependent on the drug. With some drugs, withdrawal can be deadly for the user. The brain might see the user's physiological dependence on the drug as a way to relieve stress in a tense or undesirable circumstance. The brain understands that the drug makes the user feel good and knows that it will help them feel better.
Addiction is NOT a choice, it is a mental illness and it CAN be corrected. It is not an easy process, but with commitment and the will to seek help, you can be you again.
You cannot change or cure an addict. Marriage, parenthood, or some ones love will not save the addict. Only the addict is the only one who can decide today I will use or drink or I will be in recovery. It is a disease that always has to be watched. You are never the same, one way or the other. When you wake up in the morning we take that day or hour be present,recovery happens one, day at a time, one hour at a time.The addict is powerless over the addiction and needs the help of a higher power to cope and receive power and hope for today.
People are not helping an addict when they pay their bills, make excuses, buy them the addictive substance. The addict has to come to a place in their lives where they see that the addiction is a problem,that it is wrecking their lives, thier families, their bodies and souls. Its called hitting bottom or tough love. It what they need, too feel the pain and wakeup from thier denial, thier using people and making others take care of them and these people need to grow and learn and change. Addicts are in no shape to have a relationship or parenting unless they do the work and recovery everyday of thier lives. There loved ones are not suppose to be judgmental toward them. The family need to be in counseling as well in order to understand how to deal with these situations. AA and ALANON and NA is a good thing to be involved in if you or your loved one has an addiction.
@Vanessagail 100% Thank you! One second,one minute,one hour,one day at a time. The addict has to choose to change. They have to choose for themselves to stay clean. Every second is a ticking time bomb we make decisions in...
Unless you're born to an addict mother and you need to be weened off of the drugs, or you have a gun to your head, or someone laces something without your knowledge a repetitive amount of times;
How is it not your choice?
I never can understand why people say it's not a choice.
And it feels like a cop out when people won't acknowledge their actions.
I smoke weed and drink alcohol.
It's an occasional thing.
4th of July, my bday, holidays.
I know that I'm a hungry happy drooling fool that claps my shoes together and laughs for hours when I get high.
So I don't do it much.
I also know that I'm a promiscuous drinker, so I don't do that much either.
But back when I was growing weed and drinking everyday and popping pills, you can bet that no one forced me.
I knew what I was doing, I knew what would happen, but I didn't care.
I was having fun but most importantly; I wasn't feeling sad or depressed.
I'm addicted to happiness. That's how it started for me.
Started off as a curiosity of why my friends liked doing it and cause it was "cool," so I wanted to try it too.
Then I realized that I liked it, that it made me feel good, that it made me feel happy and escape my head and the bad things I thought or felt.
You chose to find those drugs, you chose to take those drugs, you chose to find a dealer/find more drugs, you chose to keep doing it, you chose to not stop. You chose to become addicted.
That's all on you. Don't sit there and say it isn't.
But you know what's also on you?
Your recovery. You chose that too. You chose to stop, to get better, to not go back.
All of that whole package is on you.
Sure, it sucks knowing you're at fault for your actions of going down the road to addiction, but it feels amazing to know that it was also your choice to stop and get better.
My cousin grew up in a poor household whose father was a hoarder and mother was an obese heroin addict. His sisters were abusive, the neighbor boys would beat him up; life sucked for him.
His own mother didn't know who he was, she was so high.
He saw what that did to his mom and he swore to never follow that path.
So even having a bad life isn't an excuse to sit there and say it wasn't your fault.
There's no shame in admitting your faults and admitting you're an addict and chose to be one.
We're human, we mess up. There's only shame in saying it's not your choice.
@BeastBeauty
I'm actually glad you said that because now there is a different perspective to take into consideration in this forum thread. I do agree with what you are saying. The user definitely does have to seek out and start use of the substance. They also have to repeatedly use the substance enough to build that physiological dependence on it. That all is a choice. Once they are addicted, that is when the table turns. Their body sees that physiological dependence as a means to survive, so the user will then begin to seek out that substance and use again and again. That is the start of the addiction. Now it definitely is arguable that it is a choice to be addicted because you can easily seek help. However, sometimes the user may not be conciously aware of how bad their addiction may be. I do agree that it is a choice to become sober. The user has to make that choice for themself, no one else can do it for them. The user has to have the will to make that change. Once they make that choice, they need to have the desire to seek help so that they can safely ease themselves away from the addiction and become sober.
@kylerj78
All fine points. And I suppose that's true. I didn't mean to seem as if the physical and mental hold isn't very real and serious. I know that it is.
I know plenty of people that went through horrible withdrawal, literal shaking and throwing up and pissing themselves withdrawal.
It was brutal. So I know that's real. But yeah... nearly all my aunts became addicts, but the choice to go sober was theirs too.
I wish people knew that 'recovery' isn't a done thing that when you have 'recovered' its just done and finished with. I will be fighting on some level the desire to be horrifically self destructive for the rest of my life. Just because I know it is there and I know it can make me different, not me. There will always be times in my life when I want to escape and for me my additions will always be sitting there round the corner waiting for me to slip up. That doesn't mean I will. It just means that its become a coping mechanism for me, as bad or good as it may be. And now its a choice I can't just strike it off the list. I can avoid it, do my best and ignore it. But its still there.
@Lilibuth12 Well said, I feel the same. Even though I think I'm over it, it's still there lingering and trying to take me down when I'm having bad times and get self-destructive. Recovery is a lifelong thing for a lot of people
1) That addiction doesn't just mean "physically addicted to something" but also is an Addictive Personality which entails so much more, like all-or-nothing-thinking, obsessive thinking patterns (and not just about drug of choice), intensity, etc. etc. etc. I want this to be a well-known fact, and a mental health diagnosis. The brains and minds are wired completely different in an addictive personality, studied and proven but yet not an industry standard of awareness yet unless you go to renown specialists with experience in these areas. Its not just about drug-of-choice. You can be completely sober and still have an addictive personality.
2) That when you say "I'm an addict" everyone imagines that you live on a park bench using heavy drugs. Some people do, and its really unfortunate when it gets to that point, and I think we've all had our rock bottoms. But, I've known three addictive personality doctors, who lived in lovely huge house. There are addictive personality people who are outgoing, go to alot of parties, go clubbing, go to raves. There are addicts who are addicted to relationships, codependancy, and don't drink or take drugs at all.
Need to go but just thought I'd throw one or two points in x
@RedMeeko
To add- And so much more, a full spectrum and range of people, your uncle, your friend, people you don't imagine are "addicts" at all. Most addictive personality people are high functioning, so usual career roles and things you'd expect of a "high functioning" person. Don't mean to rely on "stereotypes of people" too much to explain, I'm just in a rush because I got to go so I've had to explain quite shallow-ly but I hope you understand what I really mean is far deeper than what I have the time to explain but I've got to go x
Thanks
RedMeeks
@RedMeeko I have an "addictive personality" and that's why I stay out of situations that may trigger that aspect of myself. It's not easy,I don't keep a lot of friends easily,but my recovery is worth it.
I hear you Chassy! Well, the addiction is just the symptom -- The high provides the "bandage" -- Rip it off and we can work on the wounds underneath :)
(I'm preaching to the choir here but I'm aware your already doing it! I just thought I'd stick this on this thread for anyone else looking for help to see) xxx
@RedMeeko
Take away the addiction, and find out who you really are... and open up hope for who you really want to be, to become a reality.
@RedMeeko
These are very wise words Red. We are not our addiction.