porn addiction recovery (discussion)
for our new members:
hello, this is a log in post to track your porn abstinence. this isn't an official event, I'm just another addict trying to bring like-minded people together to help hold each other accountable. if you're new here, you can introduce yourself and start using the log in post to keep track of your streak!
for more info you could check out my original post - porn addiction recovery - Discussion | 7 Cups
how does this work?
this is the informal post where we communicate and share our struggles in a concentrated place so we can get all the support and help we need. you can use this post in two ways -
1. use it to share your struggles, tell people how it started and how you've tried to overcome it in the past.
2. use it for when the urges hit. just as you feel like you're slipping, you can share your thoughts here, and if anyone is online, they can keep you company until the urges leave.
important thing to note:
if you notice a new post / comment, please take the time to check it so you can help someone in need. try to keep people company and always stay engaged, we are all in this together.
more info:
(incase I rambled too much on my original post)
so basically, we've got two posts. this post is used informally as a discussion page to make it easier for like minded people to come together and so new members have a well-built community to be able to get help easily.
the other post is made to be formal (ideally) so you can use it neatly to update and keep track of your goals. pretty please only reply once and continue creating a thread by replying to yourself only (if not, too many extra replies will cause a lot of reply pages to open, and that'll be very difficult) and even if you need to start over please continue in the same reply chain only.
and also, don't reply or motivate anyone on there, please! that's what we can use this post for :)
today was hard... i was by myself for over 2 hours and the urge was INSANE. but I ended up spending the entire time on youtube just so I can starve it off- I have a hugeee portfolio presentation tomorrow, I need to submit like at least 7-ish works and I have only finished 1, but idk I just couldn't relapse so I wasted the entire time on something else...
One of the books i read talk about turning your sexual energy into something else. Using it as a productive output. The temptation gets far easier if your mind is occupied on work. Scrolling youtube is mindless. Its easy to fall back when your mind is tired or relaxed. Put that urge to use and do the work!
@FeatheredSerpent33 what's the book called? and yes, I need to try and not fall into another addiction while trying to get out of this one, truly...
Its called Quit porn addiction for good. By Dr. David Cohen. It was a short listen (audible) but really helped me strategize and step back and look at all the things preventing me from breaking the habit. But literally from the day i read this and implimented ideas. I havent fallen. You can do this! U are not your addiction. Theres a lot more to life than that.
@FeatheredSerpent33 omg i cant believe i missed this post!! but yes, thank you so much I'll have to get it checked out for sure.
You know whats weird is like a month ago i had set up this quitting porn program. It seemed great, lots of support and therapist talk. Group talk. But then then big catch, 450$ a month! I was like, my problems not THAT bad! So soon after my porn problems like doubled down and it got out of hand. I kept thinging how i better fix this myself or itll cost me so much money to fix with that program. Im lucky i found something working for me now. Cheers 7 cups!
@FeatheredSerpent33 WOW that is insanely expensive omg-
guys, its been 2 days wow whats going on in yalls life?
p.s turn on the bookmark symbol on this post so you get notifs properly
Hey! Been busy! Work, and moving. But it keeps me busy which helps. Sorry im a lil afk for a while. But honestly im doing great as far as abstinence. How about you?
@FeatheredSerpent33 hello!! i was struggling a bit due to anxiety about this one thing, but it's over now and I did relapse for two days because of it, but now I'm okay!! thanks for asking :)
What can you do when your anxious instead?
You can do it! What can I do to help?
i'm just happy i'm over the anxious part rn, tbh. but yes, I need to come up with better ways to deal with it. now that you say it, I think I'm using anxiety as an excuse, surely I have better things to help? why did my brain convince myself its okay to relapse simply because of my anxiety? loads of questions...
and you've been helping a lot, tysm!! seeing your log ins everyday helps me so much!!
Ita ok to have a set back it gives you insight into where the holes in your walls are. So lets brainstorm, what else can u do when your anxious? What can calm u down? I think im going to go through the book that helped me and make a bullet point list to refer to. Small things can make big changes if you put them together. Like limit idle time, no phone 1 hour before bed and when waking up. Our brains make excuses. Its ok, its how we learn. Keep it up. Im on your team.
@FeatheredSerpent33 thank you and yes, you're right. unfortunately I haven't made any concrete ideas to help with my anxiety, I usually just let it eat my away until the thing I'm anxious for gets over. and I feel so upset to tell you but I relapsed again today.
today was hard, just extremely hard. i got a bad news in terms of my academics and my parents aren't happy. i messed up everything, it's like the most important part of my life and I messed it all up. I'm facing the consequences right now but yk, I just don't like it at all. there's nothing more I can do now, but I'm not exactly reacting either? like I feel guilty and I'm upset, but I don't show it outside, I think. which in turn upsets my parents a lot because they think I'm not realising my mistakes (which, could technically be true, I suppose, I'm not sure)
wow I'm rambling haha
but yeah, tough times. I'll start again tomorrow, for sure!!
Listen to Quit Porn Addiction for Good by Dr. David Cohen on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B0CQ37GZWH?source_code=ORGOR69210072400FU
Hey its ok! Your going to be ok. Parents get overly tied to results. Just realize they want you to be successful, so tske that from their reaction as support. Leave the parts that feel bad. Seriously this audiobook helped me see all the holes in my defenses. Its good, and only like 3 hours long. I think you cope with anxiety with porn. Porn gives a feel good dopamine hit. But its never as good as before so you crave more and more. We need to break the cycle, and this helped me. I wish i could articulate the summary but i cant. And hey your success is my success. And your set backs are just tools to learn from. Ur smart and we can do this. K?
@FeatheredSerpent33 wow you really know how to motivate someone. your words genuinely want me to strive harder. and yes, thank you so much, I'll check out the podcast soon!!
you're right about parents being tied to results haha, I just wish I hadn't let them down as terribly as I did now, really. i could've worked harder, and it isn't exactly ignorance that caused me to be here like most people would think, but I guess I was genuinely helpless, didn't know where things went wrong and refused to admit I needed help. but well, yeah. what's done is done, I suppose.
thank you once again!!
Its a tough thing. Where a little bit once in a while is normal, and learning about yourself. But when you find yourself unable to focus on anything else and other aspects of life are affected it is a problem. I find myself wanting to justify some degree of this being ok. But im terrified of what cracking the door could lead to.
I dont know if all this talk is helpful or not. Sometimes feels like we keep harping on the same thing over and over. So what else is happening?
@FeatheredSerpent33 i think talking to someone or just posting about it helps me take it off my chest a lot, even if we keep going over the same thing constantly. but yeah, I know it was more of a burnout. i suppose it just got too difficult to keep up with the expectations I had for myself and others did too. i just wish it hadn't gotten this worse. my marks is in no way acceptable. but then again, the only thing I keep telling myself is that it's done and it's over. i need to move on and focus on mental recovery, but it just gets a little too heavy sometimes.
all I know is that this addiction has truly decreased my attention span, like drastically. i wish I had noticed and tried harder sooner, but then again, what's done is done.
A communal feeling should help in achieving them.
I wish you all the very best!
@rainyVoice8946 thank you so much!!
@northernlights101
Yeah. I had my journey with this, so I get all of yours struggle.
Most important factor is to be crystal clear of the reason/the why/the purpose for doing it.
The more strong it is, the more centered on the goal we tend to become when distracted.
Anybody who wants to talk about this, get clarity, assess strength-weakness so on can feel free to DM me.
@rainyVoice8946 once again, thank you so much for your support! it really helps to know there's someone out there rooting for us.
We need more members. I see others making threads related to our topic. I need to figure out how to copy our thread link and spend time inviting people.
@FeatheredSerpent33 hey, you could just copy paste this!!
log in post : porn addiction recovery (log in) - Discussion | 7 Cups
discussion post : porn addiction recovery (discussion) - Discussion | 7 Cups
it automatically turns into a link since the posts are made in cups, so it's easier this way. and yes, I really really wanted to take the time and invite people myself, but I genuinely feel time just slipping away lol. so it would be really nice if you could invite more people!! and I think we also need to tag people who've already shown interest, most of them aren't as active...
Thanks, when i have time ill search for more members. I think you making these groups was brilliant, just cant figure out why more people arwnt interested.
@FeatheredSerpent33 i suppose they're just weary our motivation would die down and that we'd ghost the entire idea or something. but then again, it could also be because they're simply unaware.
the weirdest part is, we can't get better if we aren't willing to get help, you get me? some people know they need help, but they don't want it, if that makes sense? i don't mean to talk ill about them, but we can't help someone who doesn't want it. they need the time and space to realise what their requirements are and if they're willing to meet it with their needs.
i meant *meet it with their wants.
my bad lol.
Def get that. U want to meet in the relationship chat room? Since we both are on now?
@FeatheredSerpent33 wait there's a chat room like that? let me go search it up haha
okay so i just realised, since im a teen, my chats are a little different. they're more focused on like playground and student help. is that chatroom like a default in your chats option?
Oh ya it is, weird ya it must be separated. Ah oh well
Ha. Ya in the second icon in the bottom is a chat thing. Then at the top hit groups. Theres like 5 or 6. We can just pick one that not many people are in.
@FeatheredSerpent33 ahh okay, unfortunately i only have 3 rooms like that. one says teen support, then 'the playground' then the next one is support room 24/7, do you perhaps have that one?
I do have the support one. Ita a bit busy buy sure
@FeatheredSerpent33 alright then, see you there!!
okay so unfortunately, i suppose its two different places lol. cause the group description says this -
24/7 support space for teen struggles and triumphs. Get your voice heard. Open group chat for teens to share opinions, ask questions, and connect.
so I guess its only for teens...
and I also tagged you in a message, did you get it by some chance?
I think its separate. Sorry
How have things been going? What is your daily life like?
@FeatheredSerpent33 that's alright, i suppose it makes sense lol.
but well, yeah. things have been a bit hard and disappointing lately, but it's nothing that time wouldn't heal. i haven't been doing anything at all, just sitting at home all day cause its my holidays lol. i wish I would study a little, but hey, I will try my hardest to start that today.
how has your life been lately?
What time zone are u in?
You should find a creative outlet.
Ive been busy working and moving. Lots of boxes to unpack and little projects to do. Feels like the day rushes by and i barely get the things i needed done. But busy helps i suppose.
@FeatheredSerpent33 im from india, so ist lol.
but yes, the good thing is the exam I need to study for is a creative exam, I'm just not doing it lol. but like I said, I have a little idea om what I want to work for, so I guess I'll just go from there.
and hey, that's awesome! honestly, keeping yourself busy is quite literally the best thing to do in such situations.
also, i gotta go freshen up, its morning for me lol. i hope we get to talk like this soon!! you helped a lot. bye for now!!
Crazy. Im in US. I have to say it feels good to have a bunch of abstinence days down. But theres still times where it feels so easy to break down. But its like that person said, you need to have clear reasons for stopping.
What r u going to do for work?
@FeatheredSerpent33 true true, i felt very good on those days, you know? like it felt like i had more time than usual. but I always seem to underestimate how easily my brain can trick me I guess.
and well, I'm looking for colleges right now. i suppose its a bit unusual for you since you're in the us, but part time during university is not as common as it is for you guys. there are people who do, but it's not an expectation, if you get me? so I'm not looking into anything as of now.
@themmusafir hey, i saw your log in from yesterday, you're on your day 1, congratulations!! how have you been feeling about it?
so uh relapse again, today wasn't as hard in terms of anxiety but things at home haven't been the best, unfortunately. I've been thinking and overthinking a lot, I guess I just need to be much more stricter and just make it as hard as possible to access, really.
You can do it. When does this happen in the day? Could you go for a walk, or focus on a creative outlet when those feelings come up?
@FeatheredSerpent33 i think i've mentioned it before, but it happens whenever I am by myself. usually right after I wake up before I freshen up. the problem is, I cant just go for a walk, my parents wouldn't let me lol. but yeah, I should probably try to come here whenever that happens, that is the point of it after all.
Ya, thats right come here first. Ibfind myself doing that. Also try to avoid using a phone at all when u first get up. Its a common strategy.
@FeatheredSerpent33 oh yes, i should REALLY do that, I'm afraid my phone as a whole will become a new addiction at this point.
Did u ever get that book? Itll help!
@FeatheredSerpent33 unfortunately, i am a teen living with her parents loll so I don't think I can get it anytime soon. i was hoping to find some forums that discuss about the book though
This isnt the book i was yalking about but has some good advise, granted you can tell its geared toward a male audience.
@FeatheredSerpent33 ah, i know porn addictions are mostly geared toward men, to be honest. but well, I do suppose there's a majority there. but yeah, I'll check it out! thanks!!
Porn addiction in my adolecense almost ruined my sex life. I'm now struggling with sex and I can't feel it at all unless it is linked to my fetish.
That sounds difficult. U probably need to see a Dr. But I also know that with porn you are constsntly chasing that dopamine hit to feel better. But its never as good as before. You can retrain your brain tho. So you get enjoyment from life and with long enough abstinence from porn, your sex life can improve. But it would take lots of dedicstion, and healthy changes in lifestyle.
@energeticGlobe9706 i can understand where you come from. and I'm so glad you found this post. we can get through this together, as a community. so don't give up on yourself, yeah? we can do this.
Hi, I’m 54 and started a 12 step for addiction after I started making decisions that hurt my relationship and life. I was always mildly addicted I thought, but it stepped up to dating and sex addiction when I got divorced. My current gf found out and resulted in a physical fight and I went to jail. We reunited and I started getting help a year ago.
My downfall is always social media, I do pretty good managing temptation without it, but never fails when Im browsing mindlessly and come across a thirst trap. So I try to read as my go to bored activity. Been sober since May 10
Sorry to hear about all of that. Social media is a big trigger for me too. So i deleted all of it. Its not something i needed. Just a waste of time. And without it there, its easier to resist the temptations. A 12 step program sounds good. How is that going? The biggest help to me was reading this book "quitting porn addiction for good" by Dr David Cohen. Its insightful and helps you see the triggers and how to address set backs.
Hopefully we can help each other here.
@quickwittedWillow6742 hey, im so sorry you've been through that... i don't think I can ever understand how you've made it through and how much you must've struggled. but I really appreciate the steps you've taken. realising our faults and triggers are the first step, and you've taken efforts to get over this too, it's awesome, truly. social media is a doom in the present times, I have to say. but now you know what to steer clear of, so that's a progress!!
and please do reach out to the community whenever you want, we truly want to be of help (and get help) whenever we can.
