i need advice
Hi! Am I actually slowly losing myself??
(Yes, another mental health issue case or not, please be patient. if you are a therapist, I would love to hear your suggestions.)
19F second-year computer application student.
Recently, I cried during a lecture. Why?
Even I don’t know, maybe it was pent up, my marks just triggered this. I got 22/40, pretty average(I have scored worse), and I’m used to it, but the first time I cried, not because of marks, but because of how I saw that I’m failing myself. My friend, who scored low in every course, scored better than I did. no I do not blame her. I blamed myself. I know I could have scored better, but I did not even try. I just read for 2 hours before the exam. That’s it, crazy, never did I ever go so low.
And even if I had studied a day before, I know I could have scored, but I just couldn’t concentrate. I just put it off, saying I'll study it afterwards instead doom scrolled *** and reading thoughtless fanfictions. My brain has lost its sense of priority; this is not the first time either. I did this almost every exam, and because of that, I even have a backlog.
These days, every single time something doesn’t go my way, I get so frustrated. Recently, we had a fun week in which they had character day and mix-n-match day. but 2 days before the event, they changed into twin day and jersey day. I was swearing the building would just burn; the same thing wouldn’t have bothered me 3 years ago. I was prepared, and it didn’t go that way. Many times, similar minor incidents have occurred.
Is it pressure? I thought my mom was never in front of me, at least demanded to be a topper of my father: you passed great!
My friends, most of them are smart. And I believe I don’t even have a toxic relationship with them either.
Nor do I have pressure, not even a lecture problem; I have every resource and every gadget needed comfortable space to work, am I really just lazy? Yes, I have realised, but that does not help overcome my problem at all. I have nothing unfair going on in my life, and I stopped doing my favourite hobbies; I’m getting less creative day by day. (feels improbable because I would be the most creative person you would have met in my school days) I’m putting off everything: assignments, study, hobbies, getting up early, going to sleep,(I even put off posting this).
I get tired, bored, or simply sad whenever I start to study nowadays (no, I was not like this before).
Do you relate to this? Please suggest something to get over this. I don’t want to remain the same. I would love to hear your story. (No blaming pls I have drained myself doing that)
TMI: It has come to my attention that I have a normal period when I don’t go to college for months. Once the semester starts, I start having irregular periods.
@quickwittedNorth5962
🥺
I'm really sorry that you are struggling so much.
And finding studying so hard.
It can be difficult when we can't put our finger on the exact reason as to why.
What works for me, is small, daily and consistent habits, that allows me to feel more like myself again.
I'm sorry your periods are irregular.
It can cause so much tension and stress and can be hard to focus on anything else.
It's important to talk to lecturer you trust, to get the support you need 💚😊
@quickwittedNorth5962
from what u are saying it seems to me that ur dopamine levels are at it lowest right now it might be related to social media. im currently going threw the same problem i find studying very hard but i decided to start doing hard things and avoid social media as much as possible i even started fasting 1 time a week to let my brain get used to low dopamine intake
u can research about dopamine its really the thing that drives any1 to do anything pretty much and in this current world every compony is trying to give us as much dopamine as possible so we buy from them more and its making our brains foggy
hey I would like to try this do you think you could explain the thought behind it and why it can help im really struggling at the moment
First, some encouragement:
I can relate to your academic struggles, feeling tired, bored and sad when you need need start an unpleasant task, and labeling yourself as lazy.
As a kid, I would feel very sad and discouraged when I was sent to clean my room. I was never able to clean my room until I was an adult. In high school I was in survival mode, when my homework was piled high and I was required to dissect books instead of enjoy them. I went to a very high achieving school where I heard students talk about their 4.0 or above GPA and how they would pull all-nighters to get their homework done. I thought, "No, thank you!" and prioritized my interesting and easy assignments over my boring and difficult ones. I was content with getting Cs, despite my legal guardian's urging to "go for the A." I didn't plan to attend a university, anyway. I did well at a community college where I could pick my classes. They were all interesting.
I eventually DID attend university. I barely made it, by the grace of God and sheer will-power. I NEEDED that degree for my dream job. I overheard students talking about taking Adderall without a prescription in order to get their work done, and I thought, "Psh. I don't need that. That's cheating!" LOL I really powered through with energy drinks and music, not knowing I had ADHD.
I am proud of you for recognizing that you need help sooner rather than later (I lived my life thinking I was lazy and stupid, until I was diagnosed with inattentive-type ADHD at 27 years old). You are on your way to thriving with with a funky brain!
Now some facts and advice:
You are NOT lazy! Your brain is overwhelmed and stressed out. We avoid tasks that are too stressful and we cry when we are at our limits.
First, I recommend watching How to ADHD's video on the "wall of awful," and other videos to find ways to reduce overwhelm and to accommodate your brain so you can "do the things."
Second, I recommend finding mental health and disability resources at your school, if they exist. Find a professional to discuss your symptoms with.
More encouragement:
YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK! You will not be stuck for long. You will do great things with the right tools and methods for working with your brain.
More advice:
Your brain needs food and rewards! Eat lots of protein and healthy fats like avocado and fish. Treat yourself with the occasional bit of chocolate, especially if you need extra motivation. You might also try green tea and other healthy or healthier energy drinks. Set alarms for snack and movement breaks. Exercise boosts your brain chemistry. Start light and easy, with something you enjoy, like a short walk. For longer walks, or if you get into running, you could listen to audio books.
Hey,
I just wanted you to know that failing does not make you a failure! It’s very easy to mix those two ideas together! If you have been diagnosed with ADHD, you might want to make use of your university’s disability resources. They have accomodations because people with ADHD struggle with organization and planning and emotional regulation. — all skills necessary to succeed in school.
Also some quotes about success I like:
“We need to accept that we won't always make the right decisions, that we'll screw up royally sometimes — understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success.”
— Ariana Huffington,
founder of the Huffington Post
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”
— Maya Angelou, African-American poet, memoirist, actress, singer, dancer, and civil rights activist
Praying for you!
🙏✝️❤️
Hey,
I just wanted you to know that failing does not make you a failure! It’s very easy to mix those two ideas together! If you have been diagnosed with ADHD, you might want to make use of your university’s disability resources. They have accomodations because people with ADHD struggle with organization and planning and emotional regulation. — all skills necessary to succeed in school.
Also some quotes about success I like:
“We need to accept that we won't always make the right decisions, that we'll screw up royally sometimes — understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success.”
— Ariana Huffington,
founder of the Huffington Post
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”
— Maya Angelou, African-American poet, memoirist, actress, singer, dancer, and civil rights activist
Praying for you!
🙏✝️❤️
Don't worry dear. Marks is just a num which can't define a capacity of human it's just define educational ability for a perticular subject... Be calm and think in which subject or topic u r proficient...keep growing that field in which u r proficient I m sure will be successful soon
Don't worry dear. Marks is just a num which can't define a capacity of human it's just define educational ability for a perticular subject... Be calm and think in which subject or topic u r proficient...keep growing that field in which u r proficient I m sure will be successful soon